Waking Up On The Other Side Of A Dream

I entered the OUIDAD If these Curls Could Talk Contest

2009-06-18T17:37:00.000-07:00

http://www.brickfish.com/pages/PhotosAlbums/PhotoView.aspx?qsi=13722606

Here is the url. Please go and vote for me often until July 14th. I am trying to win a trip to NY to get a personal styling by the world famous OUIDAD who specializes in curly hair. Anyone that has seen my hair recently knows that I really need this trip. Please pass it on to your friends so that they can vote, too!

Thanks!

whooppeeee

2009-03-06T08:40:00.000-08:00

No, unfortunately not "making whooppee" but whooppee nonetheless.

Dogwalking 65 days straight (~ 9 weeks)
WiiFit 53 days straight (~ 7 weeks)
Pounds lost 11

It has been HARD work. Between the WiiFit and Dogwalking, it is 1 1/2 hours per day on weekdays and, with the personal trainer and yoga on the weekends, it goes up to 2 1/2 - 3 hours/day.

This is added to packing my lunch each day and cooking my dinners. Some days, I do have lunch or dinner with friends and those days are challenging (though extremely fun). I think that they may actually help as they provide variation in calorie count and food variety that keeps my body on its toes.

This is the hardest I have ever worked to lose 11 pounds and I am wondering why. Is it the long commute and the stress of the long work days? Or something else? At any rate, it is still 11 pounds in the right direction. Whooppee!

It works out to a little more than 1 lb/week so I figure if I keep it up for a year, I could lose 52 lbs! which is sure a lot better than putting on 52 lbs. And, believe me, I would not be too thin if I lost another 41 lbs. In fact, I would probably look quite right - not that I have seen that weight in at least 12 years but it would be nice to see it again (if just for a reason to clean out my closet and shop for new clothes).

The dog walking is working out and the dogs and I do love it. Thomas is finally figuring out heel although I have had to compromise and let him do it at half a step ahead. He doesn't pull and walks quite nicely, sniffing profusely every now and then. It has really helped us to pick up our pace in the morning. This morning, the regular 1/2 hour circuit took only 27 minutes (for 1.5 miles).

WiiFit is also fun. I started to get a little bored as I had completed over 20 hours and opened most of the additional poses and exercises so started to mix it up a bit. Do one of the aerobic exercises and then go over and do a strength exercise and its paired yoga exercise. I find that this mixing it up actually helps more since it blends the stretching and the strength with the aerobics to get more benefit from the workout. At the end, I do the balance exercises. This new approach has now lengthened the workout to 1 1/2 hours and I am enjoying the challenges of "beating my own times and levels".

Aerobics
Basic Step - I haven't perfected it yet but have managed to continue to raise my score and now have a much higher level of "perfect" as opposed to "ok" steps.
Basic Hula Hoop - I can consistently get them to throw me all 5 Hula Hoops and am still beating my own times.
Island Run - A 10 minute "run" (actually jogging in place) around the Island. I am working at about 116% of efficiency and do get quite warm and sweaty. It is fun to watch the other runners and pretty funny when they trip and fall.
Advanced Step - I am also getting pretty good at that one. Finally made it through a set without missing any steps and "perfect" steps far outpace "ok" steps. This also works up a sweat.
Boxing - Haven't done enough of it to know how to advance myself.

Strength
Pushups, Leg Raisers, AbVees, Arm Raisers - Lots of good stuff here. Maximum points on all are 100 and I have achieved that on a few while coming close on others. As you get better, more reps are opened up and I am now reaching those levels. Also opened the Ab Crunch challenge where you challenge the trainer to see who can do more. (It is a killer).

Yoga
I had an advantage here and started at a high level on most positions. Still, I keep bettering myself and some of them are darn hard.

Balance
Love the Soccer balls although I hate getting hit by the shoes and the stuffed panda bear head. i am really lousy at this one. "Unbalanced" is the word used by WiiFit. I keep getting better although not good enough for the game.

Ski Slalom - Another fun one. I have reached Pro at the Beginner level and haven't dared to go higher yet. Still working to beat myself.

Marble balance - Tilt and twist to get the marbles in the holes at every level. I love this one so much and got so good at the beginner level that I have moved to the advanced level and trying to master that one.

Penguin tilt - Another fun one. Apparently, my penguin gets enough fish to eat although I have only advanced from "Unbalanced" to "Amateur" level (2 more to go).

Tightrope - Can get across and learned to jump over the chomping jaws but really haven't spent too much time on this one.

Bubble walk - A real frustration. Took forever for me to master it enough to make it all the way down the river once. I haven't spent much more time on it but will get back to it as I master the others.

Snowboard - Oh boy! The forward and backward leaning balance on this one is just beyond me. I am always going the wrong way and running into walls. This one is going to take some time.

So that is the summary. I do the Body Test every day and check my WiiFit age. It is usually between 30 and 40. The lowest I have ever gotten is 25 (not bad for a 50 year old) and the highest is 57 (really bad day). I am extra challenged because a lot of the test has to do with balance and stability and, since I don't have a lot of feeling in my toes (due to Chemo), it is hard to maintain a stable balance. You don't realize just how much your toes have to do with your overall balance and standing.

I am grateful every day for continued motivation (and fun) and hope that I can come back to this blog with more successful weight loss stories.

Another day

2009-02-20T10:54:00.000-08:00

So, my day yesterday was going just fine and I was so happy to get home before 7PM so that I could do my WiiFit and have my dinner before sitting down to Survivor.

Not to be. My wonderful day came to a jarring stop when I walked in the door of the house. Thomas had been in trouble again. I knew it right away because he was outside and wouldn't come in. My crossword puzzle book (100 NY Times Crossword puzzles back to their origination in the 20's - or something like that. I was on #82) was torn up on the floor. He had even managed to chew and pull out the wire rap binding about halfway up the spine. Of course, he had to spend more time mangling the puzzles I hadn't actually done yet.

As I looked around, I realized that he had spent another part of his day busily chewing on my walls - which I have repaired umpteen times in the 9 years that he has lived with me. I have never had a dog that chewed walls and am at my wits end as to what to do with him. My house looks like a slum and I can't keep anything nice. I am so tired of repairing and painting them. Have tried tin foil, hot pepper, dog off, windex, shock treatment (works but don't have enough units and can't isolate enough to the specific areas of the chewing) and just yelling. The yelling scares him and hence the reason he is outside. He obviously knows he has done something wrong so why do it? He never does anything like this when I am around. Only when I am gone. Not every day either. I have yet to know what sets him off.

So, instead of the lovely evening I had planned, I was taping my book back together and repairing the walls. I put their food in their bowls and made them sit there just looking at it while I completed this whole process which took over one hour (The walls aren't painted - just the spackling - still have to sand, re-spackle, smooth, texturize, paint, faux finish - a very long process). They sat there the whole time just looking at their food. Poor Smokey, he had to go along too because it is difficult to separate that command for them.

After the work, I still had WiiFit (Don't want to mess up my schedule now - 7 lbs down) and finally sat down with my dinner and Survivor at 9:15 PM. Which of course made my whole evening later and I got to bed late so this morning I am not as "perky" (only 4 1/2 hours sleep).

I am hoping for a better house when I come home tonight.

Happy Thursday

2009-02-19T13:54:00.000-08:00

So I was just sitting here and realized that.... "I'm Happy!". Now, it is not that I am never happy. In fact, I spend most of my days traveling through in some kind of happy stupor. Even with the economy and the rain and the traffic and the commute, somehow that happy seed pops out and grows me a happy tree.

But, anyway, today, somehow, I am inordinately happy. Don't ask me why. Hmmmmm.......... After 51 days, Thomas is finally starting to act like, he not only knows how to, but that he might actually want to heal in the proper place at my side. He still wanders but then comes on back. A vast improvement. And did I mention it has now been 51 days! Yes, 51 straight mornings - through rain, wind, deluges and floods, even stalkers, we have kept up our 1/2 hour walks (1.5+ miles). The dogs are looking better for it. Thomas has trimmed up and actually has rippling muscles. His fur looks so much better and is very soft. His ears are now standing up almost like when he was a puppy - and I thought he had outgrown that. Smokey Bear also looks better although it is harder to tell. He has always been thin but actually now looks a little more beefed up from a muscular standpoint - somewhat like the body builder compared to the 90 lb weakling on the beach getting sand kicked in his face (Smokey would be the body builder).

As for me, my body is not all streamlined with rippling muscles but it may be that I am just to close to it and too critical. Too date (after 51 days) I have lost only 6 lbs - a far cry from the 32 more I need to lose but, hey, it is at least in the right direction. Why is it so easy to put on and so darn difficult to take off?? I think that my body must have trimmed up a bit, too since I am fitting into my clothes a bit better than I normally would at this weight.

Weekends have been the hardest. I have this mentality of wanting to sleep in after a long week but need to get up early on Sat so that I can walk the boys before heading off to my volunteer job at the animal shelter at 9 AM. On Sundays, I get up even earlier to walk them before heading off to yoga at 8 AM. After getting up and going, I am happy I did. Just have to get my mind out of the sleep in mentality. After all, I can always come home and take a nap afterword. And then there is the weekend challenge of everyone else in the neighborhood walking their dogs. I am hoping with Thomas getting better at heeling that he will also settle more around other dogs.

And then, I can just be happy because it is Thursday and I only have one more day of work this week. And.... work has been very busy so the days have been passing much more quickly which is a whole lot better than sitting here twiddling my thumbs for 8 hours.

And.... it is sunny outside...something that I always like.

And.....my energy level is good....

And.....

And.....
And....

Ugghhhh.....again ....seem to like that word for grief

2009-02-13T11:53:00.000-08:00

So here I am at work in a place I don't choose to be that is far, far from home (every day), having to deal with the unrest of my dogs because I am gone so long and then not being fully utilized although I have to sit here 8 hours/day to get paid, not being challenged by the work, brain turning to mush and, on top of it all.........

I have to work with a guy with HUGE, did I say HUGE ego problems who can't even have a discussion unless he is right. If I dare to disagree or suggest he could look at it differently, his response is to first insult me and then to say whatever and walk away or ignore me. The worst part is that he could learn something because usually what I am saying comes up later with the Director and it turns out that what I said was worthwhile after all. I try to ignore it and move on but it is just adding insult to the injury of me having to be here because I need a paycheck and the economy is so bad.........

ugghhhhhh.....

Back to smiling, breathing deeply and just letting this idiot wallow in his ignorance. I don't have anything to prove to him and really don't care if he agrees with me or not. Just don't insult and ignore me. That is immature and inhuman.

Have to be nice. I need this job. I need the paycheck. Please economy get better so that I can change to a client closer to home that actually challenges my intellect and makes the day interesting, I can resume my life, my painting, my friendships and the dogs can stop tearing up the house because they are alone so many hours of the day.........

Soooooo........ccccccoooooollllllldddddd

2009-02-09T15:09:00.000-08:00

Ok. This office is so cold. My fake nipple is standing up - no, really. It is. Don't ask me how but I looked in the bathroom mirror and there were two - one on each side.

Now, my house is 59 - 61 degrees and that is cold. I am wrapped up head to toe with blankets and a space heater to stay warm. And, I swear this office is colder than that. I am getting hypothermia. Come on people, we are not doing aerobics in here. We are sitting all day at a computer typing numbers into spreadsheets. A little heat please. My fingers are cold. My nose is cold. I am getting brain freeze. Have to go outside in the 51 degree weather just to warm up. TURN ON THE HEAT!!! Can I sue for hypothermia?

And why do I blog? Because I am sitting here cold and bored. Yet one more day with nothing to do but fill out the time. I am happy for the paycheck but wondering why the heck this client is willing to pay the money and waste my talents. ugh! Life is much better and time passes quicker when you are busy.

On another note. Have now reached 41 DAYS! of morning walks with the dogs. That is amazing. I don't think that I have ever done anything in my life for 41 days straight except maybe watch tv, eat and sleep. How pathetic is that! Thank you to my dogs. I am on a roll here. It is tough on the weekends when I would rather just snuggle in and sleep but I want to see how far I can take this thing and, of course, the dogs are loving it! They seem so much younger, livelier, clear-eyed, softer furred, etc., etc. They are looking so fit and I actually had to start feeding them a bit more. Wish it were doing the same for me but then I had so much further to go than they did. 5 lbs is a big deal on them.

Wish I had even lost 5 lbs but this stubborn weight is just staying on. I even gained back the losses of 2 weeks ago. One weekend and 4 weeks of hard work down the drain. What a bummer. Why is it like that? I have been so persistent with the exercise and good eating and nothing happens but one weekend of overindulgence and 4 - 5 lbs can go on just like that (snaps fingers). Must be the cold. My body is trying to hang on to whatever padding it can to insulate against the cold. Good excuse though, wasn't it? Seriously, don't know what is happening. I had that great 6+ lb weight loss in 4 days and didn't do anything different. Yes, I journaled and checked and now for 2 weeks - nothing, nada, nix. This is weird because usually when I pack my lunch every day, cook my dinner and work out, the weight comes off.

Just have to keep plugging away...and stop talking about it now because it is beginning to depress me.

Back to the 41 days! Yeah! Almost 50 - 1/2 century. That is my first goal and then onward to 100 and more. I must say that I really do feel good after the walks and it has been nice to see the sunrise on the weekends. I have more energy, too and manage to get in a cleaning of a drawer or two, load the dishwasher, pull a few weeds or various other "little" chores right after before winding down into something more relaxing.

Sure got me through the 2 1/2 hour yoga and dance class Saturday night. 1/2 hour straight of wild, all out, arms flailing, legs and feet moving, head swinging, hip swaying dancing. Pictures a 60's revival with everyone wiped out on some psychedelic and moving wildly and erratically around the room and that is what we looked like. Everyone was hot and sweating but still we kept going. Mix that in with some serious yoga and the next day I was pretty sore and stiff. Still managed to get out of bed for the 1/2 hour 1.5+ mile walk with the dogs the next morning.

Guess I have run out of topics. Just get me through the next hour and a half please without freezing to death and then safely home and I promise to turn on Wii fit and do a workout this evening.

Cheers!

Worried

2009-02-05T13:44:00.000-08:00

37 days of morning walks now. Thomas obviously knows what heel means but somehow doesn't get the idea that he must do it without constant reminders. I know that I walk slow for him but Smokey manages to pace me. For some reason this week, I have started to get a callous on my middle finger. Why now? I don't know. Anyway, my hands were so weak this morning, it was difficult to grasp the leash. Not a good morning for a challenge. But yet, on the last block home, there was a dog - just a nice, old dog - not challenging at all but Thomas started to lunge and twist. He has been much better on the weekends but this seemed to go back to his old ways. What am I doing wrong? He is so good otherwise.

Anyway, I got frustrated and angry - something else I haven't done in some time. Is it the hormones from that time of month? I lost my cool and in so doing, the grip on the leash and his choke. He got under my feet and I fell smack on him! Now, I weigh 3X as much as he does so that couldn't have felt good. He collapsed under my weight but when I rolled off, he was lunging just as strong as ever while I sat in a greasy puddle in the gutter and held on. Thank goodness that Smokey who I wasn't even holding onto anymore just stood there waiting for it all to pass. Thank you Smokey!

The woman with the dog stopped to ask if I was okay. I told her that I was, just wanting her to move on and away with her dog so that Thomas would settle down. I don't know what started this all with him. He was not always this way and certainly is not in the Vet's office where he is in very close proximity with other dogs. He wants to play, I know but needs to mind and follow. His behaviour is not acceptable for walking. He has been doing so well and making good progress. Today was a little slip and so close to home. I was disappointed with myself because my hands wouldn't work to hold the leash and keep him moving forward in a heel. I think that made me more angry than his behaviour. I was frustrated with myself.

Anyway, now I am just worried. My little guy is at home and may be starting to feel the after effects of me landing on him now that his adrenaline has come down a bit. I certainly am sore. Hoping that I didn't hurt him. He has already had a slipped/crushed disc that was causing "seizures" and he almost drowned in his little pool. He seems to have recovered over the last year and a half or so (after about 3 years of seizures) and I would not like to cause that problem again. His eyes were a bit bloodshot when I left home - causing me additional worry on his condition - since we have started the morning walks, his eyes have been clear and the whites have been white.

I just had to get that off of my chest so that I can relax and let it go while I sit here at work twiddling my thumbs and waiting for an assignment so the day will pass quicker and I can get home to my boys.

Breathe deeply.........deeper........deeeper.....now smile!

One month

2009-01-30T08:18:00.000-08:00

It is Friday! yeah! And I have not only completed another week of this grueling commute but have actually completed another month - 4 weeks! Thank you, thank you to Smokey and Thomas for getting me through this. The morning walks have certainly helped out. 31 days now!

And another .7 lbs this morning. 6.5 lbs total now. The challenge is this weekend with Tarragon and the Crab Fest tomorrow and the Superbowl on Sunday. I will do my best not to completely retrace this week's gains.

On a sad note, I am mourning the loss of our trees on San Antonio. The trees, including a number of heritage pines provided a beautiful green tunnel that made me feel like I was coming home along a country lane. All of them have been razed to the ground and now the street looks like an urban, concrete thoroughfare. Not pleasant or beautiful to drive down. The city can say whatever it wants about safety, etc. but I think the real reason that they did it was economic so they don't have to keep trimming the roots back to keep the road smooth. This is a very sad loss. We need more greenery and not less. What were they thinking?

Is it real or is it Memorex?

2009-01-29T09:12:00.000-08:00

Wow! 5.8 lbs! I lost 5.8 lbs in 3 days! And that after struggling for a month now - eating right and working out daily. I fought hard not to lose hope and now - 5.8 lbs in 3 days! WooHoo! Guess I will keep doing what I have been doing.

I crossed under a marker that I had been struggling with since coming back from LA at Christmas. That made me very happy but I am still about 15 lbs off of what I was at my party last summer and 33 lbs off from March 2007 when I went back to work and started this uphill spiral. First things first - 10 lbs more to get off the Oakland commute weight. That is my first goal.

The clothes are still tight because they were bought at my pre-Oakland weight but at least I don't look like a stuffed sausage in them anymore. They are starting to look regular and business-like again. Thank goodness for that.

On another topic, today was day 30 of walking the dogs - Wow! I am so proud of myself and the dogs are so happy. The last two days, Thomas has acted out a little while I am gone - ate the phone book, pulled the rug from under the coffee table - (after 28 straight days of perfectness). I am not sure if it is because I have been going in an hour later and therefore coming home an hour later every day this week or that the walks just aren't enough for him anymore or if it was just a quirk of these two days. So, I made a few changes. Starting yesterday, I have been putting Thomas' pack with the water bottles on him and letting him "work" during his walks. This has worked out well and he is doing much better on his "heel" but he does have a bad habit of running into my leg with his pack resulting in bruises along my right calf and knee. I think he is getting more used to it and hopefully, we should find a happy style for both of us soon. The second thing was I went back to getting up at 4:30 - 45 and leaving earlier so that I can get home closer to sunset. Hopefully, between the two, he will be calm and satisfied again.

Smokey is fine as usual though he gave me a good scare this morning. He went to jump up on the bed and seems his back legs are giving him as much power as they used to. He fell off awkwardly, twisting his back legs in the process and landing on them at a bad angle. I was scared he may have broken something but he got up and, after some coaxing, jumped up on the bed - successfully this time.

As for me, headache, sorethroat and backache today. The walk didn't fix it like it usually does. Not sure what is happening but do hope that it passes soon. I want another good day like yesterday!

5.8 lbs!

Its a good day

2009-01-28T13:33:00.000-08:00

This morning was the first day since "slammed" that I have woken up really feeling well, energetic and as if my fatigue had passed so I guess this was a 14 day (2 week) episode. The worst day was the first or maybe I just get used to it. It isn't until mornings like this that I realize how I should really feel and that the last 2 weeks have been only half speed or so. I continued my normal life and even had a "super workout" day on Saturday - 1/2 hours walking my boys in the morning, 1 1/2 hours walking and working with the shelter pups, 1 hour with the trainer getting pushed on stair steps, ball walking, jump rope and the like and another 1 1/2 hours Anusara yoga - 4 1/2 hours. What it would be like to be a movie star and have time to do that every day. I, too, would have a super buff body.

Anyway, it felt excellent to wake up feeling good. And, I have not slept as much this week for one reason or another. Went to bed about 11PM last night and got up at 5AM this morning. Maybe 6 hours is good for me.

I am now up to 29 days straight with the dogs. Benefits:

Thomas has lost his fat lump that was developing on his side.
Thomas has lost the moldy groin he had from being such a crate potato all day.
Both dogs have softer, thicker, shinier fur.
Both dogs are more relaxed and calm during the day. Yesterday was the first day that I came home and Thomas had created a little mischief. It could be that I was leaving earlier and getting home earlier last week and he doesn't like my new later hours, or he could be getting used to the walks and needs more, or it could have just been the day. At any rate, I put his backpack on him today to give him a "job". He heeled much better although he was still full of energy and hopefully, he got a little more tired out.
My house is in better condition due to the calmness of the dogs.
I am more awake in the morning when going to work.
A couple of days I woke up with headaches and sore throats and thought about not going to work. After walking the dogs, I felt much better and was able to face the day.
I am getting stronger and it is showing with my yoga and gym (trainer) workouts.
I have finally lost 1 lb and hope that will be the start of 39 more. (at least 10 to begin).

This week is a busier one at work and I actually have something to do. The day passes more quickly and I don't get as tired as trying to fill 8 empty hours. This should continue for the next week. Sure makes it easier to get up and go to work in the morning. I like to be busy and give the client good service. Makes it tough when they just have you on hold, waiting around. If I could go home and get paid, that would be good. But must sit here in my chair at the office - not just 8 hours but an extra 1/2 just so that I take the lunch legally prescribed by law although I would much rather work through my lunch hour and be able to go home earlier rather than wasting another 1/2 hour.

That is about it for now. Hoping for more good days. Iknow that this must be really boring but it helps to journal the leftovers from C treatment so that I have a comparison to see that things really are getting better and also to know about why other things are happening to my body, brain, etc. since those effects also take place when I am having one of my "fatigue" episodes. For example, I wrote some things for a case and when I looked later, couldn't even remember writing them and they were wrong. I had to correct them. What's more, it didn't even seem like my writing or style. I wouldn't have sworn that someone else had written them but there they were in my own handwriting. Whew! How scary.

Its a good day! have a great one yourself.

Ughhhh....

2009-01-19T13:39:00.000-08:00

Yes. I am super grateful for the salary this current engagement brings in and I do hesitate to complain......

But...ohhhhh...I must have an outlet here. I am BORED. There are few things more difficult than trying to fill out an 8 hour day when there is not enough work to do. And, the work that is there is BORING. Writing Policy and Process documents is just not my thing. Yawn! Can't keep my eyes open....

The walking in the mornings is going well. 20 days now....1.5 miles/morning. Jogging briefly now. The dogs continue to do well. Thomas' eyes are much clearer. His coat is softer and fuller and his moldy belly is cleared up. His fat lump in his side has shrunk and is almost unnoticeable now. Both of them are happy and content and my house is, too. As for me, the walks are nice, not always relaxing (depending on the quirkyness of the dogs that day) and I haven't lost even one pound. And that includes the 1/2 hour I walk at lunch time, packing my lunch, cooking my own dinner (all within WW standards), Curves workout 3X/week, 1 hour with Personal Trainer on Sat and 1 1/2 hour yoga on Sundays. Needless to say, it is frustrating. By the end of last week, I was on edge, even during the walks. Couldn't figure out why. Nothing seemed to be stressing me (imagine that). When I came back to work this Monday, the answer was there for me. After a relaxing weekend, I was once again on edge.

The commute is killing, the work is boring and there isn't enough of it and, last week, the manager had the nerve to question my integrity about whether I was really putting in 8 hours/day. Yes. I am and working much more quickly and efficiently than the other staff. If he wanted to, he could give me much more to do. I would be happy. It would be a lot better than twiddling my thumbs for 8 hours.

But, again........I AM GRATEFUL for the paycheck. Just needed a sec to vent.

And, BTW, the post-C event lasted just over 36 hours and then I was okay again. I dragged myself through what I needed to do and got the dogs out on their walk. Everything has resided to a more or less normal state right now, except for the weight which may be related to post-C, job boredom and stress or who the heck knows what. Just hope that passes soon, too.

Peace to all today!

slammed!?!

2009-01-14T09:52:00.000-08:00

Just when you think that things are going good.........

I was feeling good, the exercise starting to sink in and the muscle ache less. More energy, more life......and then.....

The ugly post-C monster reared its head. In the time it takes a heart to beat once, the fatigue hit. Completely unexpected and from nowhere. One second, I was sitting wide awake and working and the next, my head went down, my eyes went closed. My whole body just sagged with the fatigue. I felt like I had suddenly developed narcolepsy. But wait, I was still at work but fortunately, near the end of my day. It was only 3:45. I struggled through until the 4:10 ending time. The shooting pains had begun in my head and I started to slur my words. It felt like a mini-stroke but I had been through this before.

I dragged myself to the train station. Once on the train, I attempted to work a crossword puzzle and then read a book but my eyes just wouldn't stay open. The shooting pains continued and I almost could not see out of my right eye at all. The nausea set in. Don't let me throw up, I pleaded with the cosmos. Just let me get to my car.

Finally, we reached the station and I dragged myself to the car. My breathing had become very labored by this point and my heart was beating very sluggishly. Once in the car, I knew I could make it home and prayed the traffic would not be too bad. It wasn't and I was safely in the house at 6:00. No workout for me this evening. Just try to get some food - preferably, high iron, red meat into me and get the dogs fed.

By 7:00, I was laying on the couch in front of the TV. The last I remember, the clock read 8:59 before I woke up at 11PM. I dragged myself in to bed and slept through until 4AM. Just a little longer, I thought as I snuggled into the warmth of the dogs. I knew I had to be up at 5 to walk them and get ready for work since I had to leave early for a meeting today. I still felt tired but the fatigue, shooting pains had subsided enough for me to walk them. My heart was still sluggish and I still felt like I needed to sleep another 24 hours but I was up enough to make it to work. The time seemed to rush by as I showered and ate so I knew that I was moving very slowly.

I am at work now and the right eye is still a little droopy. I am not the bundle of energy that I have been but I am hoping the worst has passed. I never know. Sometimes it drags on for weeks and other times, it is just a couple of days.

Fortunately, these incidences are becoming fewer and farther between as I get farther into my survivorship. They haven't gone away though and insist on coming back now and then just to remind me that those 3 years really did happen and my body has a long road to come back to "normal".

lalala

2009-01-13T09:24:00.001-08:00

and la

what's up

2009-01-13T08:59:00.000-08:00

So, first of all, I would like to know why my last post is in my "Edit Posts" file but does not appear on my blog. It was posted on Jan. 9th.

Next, on to the purpose of this blog.

Just talking to myself, as usual and quite proud of the fact that now I have walked the dogs for 14 days straight/ 1/2 hour each day. 5AM on workdays and about 7:30AM on weekends. The dogs are just reveling in it. They have been walked all of their lives but not too regularly (except for Smokey the first two years of his life). What prompted this now? Well, last Oct I was sent on an assignment 2 hours from home (4hrs commute/day). This threw my whole schedule out of whack. No more painting. No more walking the dogs. No more exercise. No more lunches with friends. Just work, commute, sleep - maybe a little TV.

The net result of that was as 10lb weight gain, unhappy dogs eating up my house and a very achy body from lack of exercise. I so looked forward to Christmas/New Year's when I would have 3 weeks off and be able to catch up a bit on the exercise.

As it turned out, I was on vacation in LA/LV for 2 weeks and the dogs went off to camp. My friends, being of like mind, were very helpful in getting me out on walks, to the gym, etc. That was a good start. I got back home Christmas Day and the doggies came home 3 days later, all tired out from camp and settled. That seemed like a good time for me to start them on their new morning routine (and me, too). It was cold in the morning - about 32 degrees.

Where did I draw my inspiration from? My friend Lorraine and her dog Sydney. Lorraine lived in Aspen where it is very cold, snowy and icy in the winter time. In spite of that, she got a dog, knowing full well that she would need to take her out a few times each day which meant bundling up and going out into the cold. I figured if Lorraine could do that, then certainly I could walk mine once daily under somewhat less adverse conditions. Now, whenever I don't feel like rising in the morning, I just picture the snow and ice and it gets me going. The dogs have been much more content (which was to be expected - dogs should walk) and I also am reveling in the early morning peace and quiet and am so much more awake and have more energy when I am off to work.

The dog walking was only the beginning. I had to start back on Jan 5th with the same client, meaning the same 2 hr each way commute. However, I was determined not to have the achy body and unhappy dogs. I continue to get up at 5AM each morning to walk them for 1/2 hour and then get ready and head off to work. Because of the walking, I have a bit more energy when I get home and also get home a little earlier so can make it to Curves most days. That gives me 1 hour/day. On the weekends, as luck would have it, our coach for Dragon Boat, who is a personal trainer has donated her time every Saturday for a personal training session (1 hr + cool down) and then I have the 2 hours of walking the dogs at the shelter. Sunday brings 1 1/2 hours of yoga. Needless to say, my body has been very achy - diaphragm, glutes, quads, arms - as it trys to bring itself back to health.

I think that I crossed a threshhold this morning as I am not totally and completely achy, just slightly. The really good thing is that, even with the aches and pains, I have felt very loose and not stiff for the last week or so, despite the long hours in the car, at work and on the train, so the exercise is defintely helping.

Have not lost more than 2 lbs yet but I am sure that is coming. Really want to get the 10lbs off and then start working on the 20 I put on at the last assignment. That should about bring me down to my post-C, pre-return to work weight and I should be in good shape to boot.

All of this sounds good now but it is just one day at a time. The motivation and inspiration that started it all was the dogs of course (along with thoughts of Sydney and Lorraine) and hopefully they will be what keeps me going.

Oh and I got a Wii and WiiFit. It is totally fun even though I haven't been able to use it much yet. Just hooked it up on Sunday but was thrilled to find that my Wii age is 32years old. WooHooo! Thanks to yoga since much of the determination is made on balance and agility.

More Cancer follow-up for anyone watching Breast Cancer

2009-01-05T12:59:00.000-08:00

Wow!

3 months in a row now. Dec. 3 and then Jan. 3. And very normal, regular periods. And, yes, I am still obese. Working on that for the New Year. And for those ladies who aren't 20, neither am I. I am 50 years old, was not menopausal when diagnosed with Cancer at 46 and only lost my period due to chemo. Now, 3 years after starting chemo, it appears that I am back. Just hope this means good news for my bones and brain! :)

The end of 2008 was tough with a 4+hr/day commute to Oakland each day. No time or energy for exercise, painting, dogs, family, friends. Except for the paycheck (for which I am EXTREMELY grateful), the rest was miserable.

I started back again today and will continue for another 5 - 6 weeks. The 3 week break was good and I feel more rested and determined. Am trying to get the dogs out for a 1/2 hour walk every morning. They need it and I need it. It means getting up earlier on an already early day but don't think I can go another 6 weeks without exercise on the weekdays. And neither can they. I am also hoping that this along with packing my lunches will help to resolve the obesity issue (and more). I haven't been this heavy in more than 6 years and don't want to use work as an excuse anymore (even though the long commute is a pretty darn good one.)

Well that is enough of the blog for today!

ohhhhh booooyyyyyyyy

2008-07-15T19:00:00.000-07:00

Well, the crunch is on......tooo many projects going on at work with a July deadline, party with a July deadline. Exercise and painting are hurting. Exercised yesterday and trying desperately to get back on schedule. Ate too much, too and gained - ugh!

Better go before I get too stressed thinking of it all..

Happy 4th and decluttering

2008-07-04T19:14:00.000-07:00

Happy 4th of July. I hope that it is safe and happy for everyone. As for me, I will be home with my pups. One is okay with the fireworks but the other one goes truly berserk - through doors, fences, whatever. He will be on Xanax but still needs someone by his side.

Today was a beautiful day. I cannot believe how quiet it is and how many birds are singing their hearts out. I just wanted to relax and listen all day. There were things to be done - that didn't get done yesterday.....

4 days off from work. What a dream. With the big party coming and so much work still to be done on the house and yard, I was thrilled to have 4 full days to make a dent in things. Yesterday, no exercise in the morning :(. Started with breakfast and then in to the study to start on the tasks.

Call SS - can the checks finally be stopped? They are promissing in August. I believe them - truly, truly. At least the hold time was less than 10 minutes. Everyone else probably thought they were on holiday. I gave it a try and got lucky.

My Driver's License is due and, since the last two times I renewed by mail, I have to show my mug to get it renewed this time. Went on line to get an appt - 2 weeks away.

Party stuff - Called the florist. Couldn't get through. Printed out the 5 page contract. Read it through again. Signed it. Went to bank. Got Cashier's Check. Went to Post Office to mail with Cert of Mailing. Went to BevMo to check out some of the party alcohol and bought the Sloe Gin, Tequila Rose and some of the wine. Wondering how I will keep the champagne and white wine cold for the party until I hand it over to the bar and how I will get it down to Monterey with my luggage in the small trunk of my car...........

Called Doggie Camp to make the reservations for Thomas and Smokey. They now have Doggie Bungalows - 8 X 16 square ft of air conditioned comfort - all their own. At 7AM, the doors open and they can run all day in their 2500 square ft yard or lay in the bungalow if they get too hot. They have a little pool to play in, too. At 10PM, the doors get closed and they are inside to sleep for the night and safe from any night creatures. How spoiled can you get? No wonder they never want to come home!

Went to help SIL with some stuff, headed home and then out for Niece's birthday. Fun with the family and enjoyed the pub atmosphere and being with the family. By the time I got home, I was so tired, could only think of bed.

This morning, as I mentioned, it was so nice and just the right amount of cool crispness to the air. I took the dogs for a walk and Thomas was so good - not even barking at the dogs on barking row - that I took them around again! I was just reluctant to go inside and out of the beautiful quiet, coolness.

We had breakfast and I took a break to work a crossword puzzle. How sleepy I was! Took a nap and woke up at 2PM! I guess I needed the rest. But so much to do. Went in to call the florist who had said he would be in this morning but, of course, it was afternoon so I missed him.

Checked out Bev Mo online and worked some more on the party budget and wine decision-making. All of that took longer than I expected.

Finally, got outside to work on decluttering the garage some more. Decluttering has consisted mainly of flattening old cardboard boxes and filling the recycling bin. This is the 3rd round that I am overfilling the bin (and they only empty every 2 weeks) and I am still not finished. Was hoping to be done today but, alas, there are still more boxes and it will probably take one more round of overfilling the bin before I am done. Some of those boxes have been there a long time. One of them today said, March, 1994! Can you imagine that I didn't use it for at least 11 years (the first three, I believe it was in storage holding books). I can't imagine what I was thinking that I would need so many boxes. Under the boxes, there have been a few other things to take care of. Found a big bag of plastic bottles for recycling. Am hoping that the recycling people are there tomorrow so that I can get the bottles out of the car. Managed to get the lamp off of the floor and up into the overhead storage after getting rid of some of the cardboard boxes.

My dream is to get the bikes hung on the wall (and eventually get the tires fixed so that I can ride them), get the shelves cleaned off an partially turned into a pantry. Turn the remainder in paint and house repair storage and/or put up the extra shelf to hold the paints and house repair stuff, get a pegboard up for the tools. Hang the white board, bulletin board and mirror, move out the treadmill or chair from the living room and use the treadmill in the garage (with the chair in the living room) or in the living room (where I can watch tv while I walk and also walk the dogs) and the chair in the garage. And, aside from the chair, lawnmower, tool rack and a few chairs, have nothing on the floor of the garage. Emptiness! hummmmm........ I can sweep more often and keep the spiderwebs down and use the garage for something other than empty box storage! It is a big dream but I am hoping to accomplish it this summer.

Now, I am just working on SILs stuff and a little party stuff and hoping for a calm 4th (as calm as it has been all day) and then on to some of the other tasks tomorrow, including a good strong effort at the backyard and working on the guest book which I hope to get 90% finished this weekend. In the weeks ahead, I still have the dog's vet visits, eye doctor, dentist, DMV and party stuff to finish as well as the two massive projects going on at work. Want to finish sooner rather than later so that I am not exhausted for the party!

That ends my tale of decluttering. Now just have to learn how to declutter the blogs! :)

Weekend, what weekend?

2008-06-30T12:12:00.000-07:00

This weekend, as with most lately was very busy. But also very fun.

I started off Sat morning with my Jillian 30 day cut workout. Sad to say that, although I am sore in places I didn't expect to be, the overall weight loss has not continued. Probably due to the delicious barbecued pork sandwich I had on Friday and the yummy french fries as well as the bacon on Saturday, starbuck's cookie and mixed nuts - all things you should probably try to avoid or minimize when reducing your body size. At any rate, as of today, I am still slightly ahead on the weightloss scheme so, all in all, not too bad for Day 6 and still plugging.

The workout is good although by the end of the 30 minutes, the 2 lb weights feel like 100. Some day..........hmmmm........ There is one point in the workout where you lay down on the floor for some bicycle, stomach crunches. Apparently, my feet and legs moving back and forth were just all too tempting for Thomas who likes to have his "butt kicked" - a form of play in which he turns his "butt" to me and I playfully tap it with my foot. The stomach crunches must have looked like a variation on that form of play since he went right in front of my feet and turned his "butt" toward me. Stomach crunches are hard enough without trying to move 65lbs. of dog with your feet. No wonder my thighs and inner groin are so sore.......

After working out, I ate breakfast, read the paper and showered then loaded up the car for my day's errands. First stop was Sports Authority to return all of the weights and balance ball that they had talked me into a week before. I decided it would be a very long time (can we say, "when hell freezes over"?) before I would be using the 6 or 8lb weights, much less the 10lb. Instead I bought the red 3lb weights just in case 2lbs ever starts feeling light.

After SA, I headed off to Macy's to return the last of my "alternate" dresses for the party. That totally commits me to the OCEAN colored gown now. So, I have to continue to work to fit into it.

From Macy's I headed south to my SIL's house. They were having a garage sale and I found it useful to continue with my decluttering of the garage by taking the things that would fit in my car and dropping them off for the garage sale. "Sell them for anything or give them away" were my instructions. She did really well and sold the big items for $15. I still had to bring a few things back home but they occupy very little space compared to what I had brought over. You go Deb! I tried to give her the money but she refused it so I brought her a box of chocolates instead.

Couldn't stay for the garage sale because I had to head to Scott's Valley to pick up my ring which now has a nice new opal in it. Yeah! And then on to the cake lady to take her my 50 candles for the cake. I couldn't find the right color combo so ended up giving her 3 different sets. She can choose the best to use.

And, if that wasn't already a busy enough Sat, I came back to the shelter to walk the dogs. Thank goodness. I was the only volunteer in that day and there are still 7 dogs there. The foreclosures and falling economy mean more dogs being surrendered and less people coming in to adopt them......sad. I took a couple out to the play yard to socialize them and was immediately reprimanded. How could I put two dogs in together? That is not allowed. Forget that the dogs were getting along terrifically and very happy to have company to frolic with. I see so many of the shelter dogs, including my own, with socialization issues because they are not allowed in the company of other dogs. I would think that doing everything you can to make them more adoptable would be the goal but apparently not........So I had to go back to having them out one at a time.....and hoping they all get adopted soooonnnnnnnn!!!

After the shelter, I have to admit that I was pretty beat. It was nice just to go home, eat some dinner and watch a little TV before heading off to bed.

Sunday morning dawned early with yoga. I don't know if it was all of the working out that I was doing or what but the practice was HARD. I was sore and sweating a lot - something I never do. The Srivasana (corpse pose) at t the end was so wonderful, I didn't want to get up. But, alas. That, too, came to an end and the class was over. I went to the farmer's market and took the Meyers Lemons that I had picked off of the tree that morning. The chocolatier needed them for the Meyers Lemon chocolates that they make. He traded them for a box of chocolates which I then gave to my SIL for selling my things at her garage sale. Isn't barter a wonderful thing?

I ran to my SILs house to drop off the chocolates and pick up the non-sold items, ended up chatting and visiting for a while and then headed home to get some yard work done.

Cut all of the rogue branches from the Mulberry tree that I have been trying to kill for a few years now, trimmed the funny shaped orange tree, trimmed the roses and the bougainvilla and pulled some weeds in addition to cleaning up after the dogs, washing out Thomas' pool and refilling with water which both of them enjoyed immensely since it was a warm day. A few hours later, the leaf bin was full and I was even more tired and sore.

Took a shower and headed over to Bill and Susan's house. Decided to walk since we were going to taste champagne and only then realized just how sore my hips were. The champagne tasting was wonderful and enlightening. We all settled on one type (the only one all three of us agreed on except for the one that none of us liked). It wasn't the most expensive but wasn't the cheapest of them either. Still, all in all, it was a good deal. Thanks to Bill and Susan for hosting this and thanks also for the wonderful steak and garlic bread dinner - yum!

I got home very late Sunday night, tried to do some email and a crossword puzzle but finally had to head off to bed since I had an early morning conference call today.

Great weekend - accomplished many things - decluttering, party stuff, yard work and enjoyed many things - SIL visit and champage tasting - a wonderful way to spend a weekend.

Hope yours was great too!

30 get cut dvd with Jillian

2008-06-27T10:21:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned earlier, I bought the weights so that I could also work out at home and try to get a few more pounds off before the party. My first 30 day plan lost me 7 pounds but I gained 4 back. Still progress with net 3 lbs but I need more than that.

I started out 2 days ago by adding a morning workout in my living room. I am using Jillian's (from the biggest loser) 'Get Cut in 30 Days' DVD. It is not meant for those with a lot to lose but rather to take off those last 10 or 20 and get you "cut" in the process. I have seen her use it on the Biggest Loser on tv with much heavier people so decided to try it.

I am at the beginner's level, 2lb (purple!) weights - a 30 minute workout with 20 minutes of cardio and weight training and 10 minutes of warm-up/warm-down. By the end of the 30 minutes, I am beat. And that is at the beginner's level. Think of the intermediate or advanced.

The miracle is that, after doing this for only 2 days and still eating normally - drinking lots of water, I have lost 3.4lbs! This gave me encouragement to get back up in front of the tv today and do another 30 minutes. And, I will be at Curves tonight going through my 30 minutes there. My clothes are also already loser after only 2 days. I know that I sound like an infomercial but it is just so amazing. Incredibly, the 2 lb weights are also starting not to seem as heavy, although by the end, I am still barely able to lift them so will be a while before I move to 3lbs or more. I am very motivated to go the full 30 days and see what the effect is. Only 27 more days to go................

Planning, planning, planning

2008-06-26T15:23:00.000-07:00

Just when you think you are done...........

I thought we were all set on the food and bar for the party but then.......... the food bill got raised and suddenly, I was over budget by $1,700. And.........the Aquarium does not include champagne in its bar packages which threw a wrench in the works for my 'champagne reception' and the Aquarium does not include Sloe Gin which is in the signature drink - ouch - one more wrench.

The food was as I wanted so I accepted the new bill with a smile?

That just left the bar. The prospect of buying the champagne and sloe gin made the original hourly package much less attractive than before. So then, I started looking at the hosted bar - hmmmmmm........how much do people really drink?? How can I do a comparison that will give me a realistic estimate. I got on the phone and called my very handy sis who knows all about these things. She gave me some rules of thumb and we started calculating. It was really looking like going hosted rather than hourly might be the better (read cheaper) idea. I listed everyone that is coming and how much they typically drink or an estimate if I didn't know what they drank. The amount came out much lower than the hourly rate.....hmmm......

And then we started discussing champagne. All of the discussion led to a decision to do a blind (not us but the bottles) champagne tasting to determine which champagne we should order for the party.

And, after seeing the prices on the wine list, I now have the opportunity to also buy the wine and bring that in. My choice - the great standbys by Barefoot - nice Merlots and Cabs - and the bottle has a lovely purple foot in keeping with the theme of the party.

And beer.........the Aquarium only stocks Bud Light unless you specifically request something else. So, I sent a quick email to my family beer drinkers asking for recommendations. Submitted a short list of 4 to the Aquarium and have to wait to see what they will charge me for my list (because everything you do has a cost there).

And, after all of that, I was starting to feel like a shot of Tequila Rose but I looked on the list and, oh no, the Aquarium has no Tequila Rose.......so, I threw in a bottle of that, too. Which of course, they will charge me a $15 corkage fee (+25% for gratuitie and tax).

The net of all of this last minute decision making should be a savings of about $900 on the bar fees, I hope. Although the Aquarium does need to calculate it all out and decide what they are going to charge me. If I go over, I pay extra. If I come in under, I get a refund.

Anyway, I will then be only $800 over budget...........

Never listen to a young guy at Sports Authority when buying weights...

2008-06-25T11:58:00.000-07:00

In my efforts to lose a little weight, I bought the 30 day get cut dvd by Jillian Michaels. I figured if it worked for all of those bigger folks on the Biggest Loser, it would work for me. Jillian likes to workout with just your body and very few formal props so that you can work out anywhere at anytime. One of the props she uses for this workout is hand weights.

I didn't have any hand weights and had never worked out with them so did not know what my needs or threshhold were. I headed off to Sports Connection and explained to the young (really young) guy there what I needed. Nothing big or fancy, just hand weights so that I could use them while doing lunges, laying on my back on the floor, etc. -- an augment to a workout and not the weights for weight sake itself. He scratched his head and then called over another young (very young) male clerk and asked him what size he would recommend for me. They both recommended starting with 5 lbs and said that would probably still be too light.

I was seriously doubting my ability to work out with 5 lbs and told them that I was very weak in the arms and maybe not so young (not that that has anything to do with it - only more years of being weak in the arms to overcome). They said that they were thinking about weak in the arms when they said 5 lbs. Hmmmmm............... I was still not convinced. 5 lbs felt like a lot. Now, I do lift the 40lb bags of dogfood and their 40lb water cooler regularly but that is usually once to dump the food into their bin or put the water bottle into the cooler. It is not repetitions. To me, 5 lbs seemed like more than enough for repetitions. They recommended a small set with a stand - 3lb, 5lb and 8lb pairs plus buy an additional 10lb pair because "that was probably what I really needed".

As for me, I kept looking at the 2 lb weights - maybe because they were colored such a pretty purple. I just couldn't walk out of the store without them.

This morning, I did the workout with my new weights. I chose the purple ones - why not? 2 lbs - simple right. I went through the 20 minute workout and boy! did those 2 lb weights feel heavy. I think that they will suit me just fine for a while. I would have been dying with the 5 lb weights - ugh.........

And, I still have the 3, 5, 8 and 10 pounders just in case I ever get that strong........

Sweet Memories

2008-06-24T07:32:00.000-07:00

Sometimes space clearing (decluttering) has its own surprises and some turn out to be real gems. Last night, for some crazy reason, I felt the urge to go see what was in the 3 boxes and trunk that are left in the garage. They have been there for 11 years untouched and probably in the storage room for another 9 years before that - at least some of it. There was much water damage and some funky mold smell but some of it was well-wrapped and still looking good.

2 of the boxes didn't hold anything worthwhile. One was just a gathering of items I had put out to give away or sell over the years - candle stands, candy dish, puppet, dog-bark deterrents (which work for many but not on my own cast-iron-neck pup), water bottles given at various events, a scale (the kind you stand on to weigh - yeah.......)

The other box didn't look like much. Lots of papers that I thought were probably old bills or something of that nature. Most of it was - and was sent off to shredder-land. However, some weren't. There were lots of old letters and cards. As I read some of them randomly, I was taken back to a time before email, IM, blogging and the like. People actually wrote cards, postcards and letters. One card just read, "wish you were here last night. We went down to the U-district and.........." It took me back........ Sorry folks, but email just doesn't do that. There was another letter from my Mom when I started my first job after school. She was asking questions about the job and then telling me of my older brother's efforts to become an electrician (which he did successfully), my younger brother working with my Dad and other family news as well as a list of dates when they would be up skiing so that I could join them........Wow! I had forgotten many of those things.....

And, then the photos. How they made me laugh and remember. There was one of me at my first job with the group there - all of whom I still remember - wearing out Lab shirts and looking so young - AND TAN - and thin. And the wallets from my college graduation in the 80s with the BIG hair~ Photos of my god children when they were young.

And, inside the trunk, my old jewelry box - smelling moldy and probably not retrievable although, as I looked at it, I realized what a good jewelry box it had been - much better than anything I currently own. Not much in there but there was an intact USC pin with Snoopy on it that I will certainly wear, a crystal cross that I have no idea where it came from but it is nice and several of the black and white scotch Scotty dog pins! I also found an old tin frog that clicks really loudly - and scared the H... out of the dogs when I clicked it at them. And, the driver's licenses - what better way to see the changes over the years........

Finally, it was time to go to bed. I put back the bags that I hadn't made it through to save for another day. Probably, most of it will find its way to the trash or recycling bins but first, I will get one last bit of enjoyment out of the tidbits that I find there. Just one trunk and one box left now........

Decluttering

2008-06-23T09:53:00.000-07:00

Decluttering of the garage seems to be a much more pleasant and rewarding task than decluttering of the study. Two weekends have been spent on that endeavor with the result that many cardboard boxes have been "let go" of and sent to recycling. It is sad to say but, for some reason, I had a real attachment to these boxes. Over the years, I kept thinking that I would use them to wrap a gift, store something or put the original objects back into them for packing and moving. None of that happened. Rather, the boxes kept building up to the point that every spare space in the garage was filled with empty boxes. Most of those boxes have now journeyed off to the recycling center or are now in the recycling bin waiting on the next pickup. There are still more that are still occupying space but they are only waiting for their own turn at the recycling bin.

On an even scarier thought, below the boxes and buried in the gardening section were chemicals that have been shown to be nerve toxins. One was discontinued in 2001 and the other in 2004 yet here they were still in my garage. Thankfully, they were some of the many "chemicals" I had purchased over time with intent to use but had never actually used. It is amazing that I had 4 bottles of that stuff (nearly 1 gallon) that I had obviously purchased at 3 separate points in time, not realizing that I already owned the same toxic substance. How scary is that? Two of the bottles, along with old paint, batteries and roof tar all went off to the hazardous waste dump this weekend. I breathed a big sigh of relief to know that I had detoxified my garage - or so I thought. As I was going through the shelves, breaking down cardboard boxes and re-arranging the gardening items so that I would know what I have, I found the other two bottles. They will have to wait until July 19th for disposal since that is the next toxic dump day. I have put them aside in the farthest corner away from the house until the time that they, too, can go join their counterparts in what I hope is a safer place.

I also found another box of books that was meant to go off to the book recycling with the last batch that I took out last week. They were also buried under unused cardboard boxes. Being that they are all softbacks, they can go into the paper recycling bin once it has been dumped and there is room. Other than the remaining empty boxes, it looks like there are only 3 full boxes and one trunk left to go through in order to complete the decluttering process of the garage. Sounds simple but, if you look at it, there is still a fair amount to do to accomplish this. Still, I am hopeful that the next round will do it and I can move the lounge chair out to the garage and start using my treadmill in the living room. Not the best furniture, I know but, hay! It is a small house.

The amazing thing is that the decluttering of the garage must have released space for some of the energy in the house because the house does not seem as crowded even though I have not removed anything else from there.

Besides the garage, it was a wonderful weekend of sunshine, yoga, errands, errands, errands and a visit with my angels. They left me with a wonderful message and hope in my heart.

Party plans continue with the guest list approaching 80. Two of the invitees (a couple) have not responded to the invite, my emails or phone calls - strange. I am sincerely hoping and believing that they are okay but the silence is a bit scary. I still need to take care of the flower situation and the guest book, make any final alterations to my dress and figure out the jewelry. Oh, and the music, choosing my songs so that the DJ can guide us down the right road. I am trying my best to finish up by June 30 so that I don't stress and panic in July but just seems like these last bits keep hanging out there. And July is jam packed with Doctors appts., Driver's Licence renewal (yes, I have to make an appearance in DMV this year) and various other items that require my attention in addition to work. No wonder my tummy has been a little nervous recently. Getting centered and completing these tasks are important to my well-being now.

And, as always, I am grateful. Grateful for the sunshine, grateful that I am able to plan a party and fortunate to be able to perform these tasks, grateful for my health and that of my family, pets and friends, grateful that I can still drive a car and grateful for the full and blessed life that has been given to me.

Well, it is 10:43 PM

2008-06-19T22:43:00.000-07:00

and life has definitely gone on.

So much happening so quickly and I just can't keep up.

I realize that in my earlier posts I neglected to mention the new photos I had added to my stream. Of course, there were a few paintings. But I also added the photo of me in front of the house from Rocky Horror Picture Show which happens to be in England quite close to Windsor. I also took a photo of the penguin boys at Eton. This was on a Saturday and they still had to wear their tails (or Morning Suits as they are called in England). Like American kids with school uniforms, these guys have their own ways of expressing themselves. I saw many a pair of socks in yellow, purple or with cartoon characters on them.

Party plans have progressed and are close to becoming solidified. The guest list is close to complete with only one couple who have not yet responded. Some of the folks (old friends and relatives) did not send back their RSVP cards - most likely believeing that their verbal response was enough. Still, the card was there already with a stamp and would not have taken extraordinary effort to put into a mailbox. I am counting the cards for the final count so it would have helped to have had their cards as well. Ah..........modern life.......the niceties and proper behaviours of the past seemed to all but have disappeared.

The cake is set and I have just received the most beautiful rendition of what it will look like. Need to go buy the 5 and 0 candles to go with it. Have my dress and am totally in love with it. Silver sandals, too. The DJ is set although I still need to decide on the final set up as well as the song set. Haven't done the flowers yet. Reallly need to call on that this week. Guest book is not complete and that is my project for this weekend. Jewelry is also in the works. My ring has gone to the jeweler for repair and I have not heard anything yet. The painting is in for framing. So much to do....... I am attempting to complete by July 1st, but, as Gilda Radner said, "there is always something...".

Work continues well and it is nice to have a continuing paycheck. Was doing well with the 30 day plan and weight loss though hadn't lost as much as I had hoped by today. One more 30 day plan. And probably blew it today with the wine tasting.

Have continued on my decluttering and have progressed to the garage. Took a load of books to the book recycling last weekend and will take the hazardous waste in this weekend. Plastic bottles went in for a cash voucher redeemable at Molly Stones. It bought me half gallon of milk.

Still more cardboard to break down and boxes to go through but I am making progress. Once the garage is done, I can move back into the study and the terminal filing project but, at least will have one more space (the garage) cleaned out and can move the treadmill out there or the chair and put the treadmill in the house where the chair is so that I can use it while watching TV.

I am guessing that is it for now.

TATA

May already?? Whoa.......

2008-05-17T14:27:00.000-07:00

So, another month has passed already. I am still writing April on my checks. Where did the time go?

And, no, I am not writing because I had my period again. Have not been visited by that blessed event this month - yet.

So, my day today:

7AM - Water the plants in the garden that are particularly susceptible to the hot days we have been having.

- Walk the dogs - They loved that. It had been far too long since the last one. They did really well. And, yes, two other people were out walking their dogs, too.

- Eat breakfast and Plan the Party - Invitations are mostly out. Hope folks respond soon. There is still a 20 person spread between the high and the low and a few more people I would like to invite. However, if I hit the high, I will be over the limit so must wait........people, please RSVP soooooonnnnnnn.........
Worked on the menu today. Crossing my fingers that the caterer will accept my changes. Took some time to sort it all out.
Checked the special savings account set up to accumulate the funds for this extravaganza. So far, so good.
Still so much to do and the party is only 2 1/2 months away!

-Navigate Castro Street which is blocked off due to the street fair. Had to go through all of the street fair traffic around to get to the other side to my gym to work out. Barely made it for the last round before closing.

- Work out

- Subway Sandwich - next door to gym to pick up 6 gram chicken sandwich.

- Bank

- Grocery Store - Really wanted some Breyer's Mint Chocolate Chip. However, Safeway had a meltdown - literally. All of their ice cream melted last night so the ice cream case was empty except for some Dreyer's that they had in the back - not natural, not as tasty as Breyer's but it was mint chocolate chip and I had a craving so I got some.

- Home - eat lunch - Subway sandwich

- Shelter - Take care of 4 chihuahua mixes, 1 teeny, tiny nobody knows what dog, 1 English Spaniel

- Afterwards, I am planning on checking out a house for sell in my neighborhood, going to Nordstrom to look at dresses for the party, come home, eat ice cream and relax. Maybe pay some bills.

And............Such a nice day. Had the top down (on the car) and was driving by my Sisters house. No cars there. Probably went to the beach, I thought. Darn! I should have called. Going to the beach today would have been much more fun!!

Have a great day!

Warning-Cancer-related Post

2008-04-08T13:19:00.000-07:00

This morning, I got my period again - exactly one month to the day from when I had it last month. Some of you may be saying, "Why is this a big deal?" or "That is not a reason to celebrate. I would celebrate NOT having my period". Well, I totally understand.

But, let me explain why it is a big deal to me. There are benefits to your body of delaying menopause. Among them are two that are very important to me. The first is that the hormones related to monthly cycles also delay the onset of boneloss and resulting osteoporosis. It is beneficial to us as human beings to delay bone loss for as long as possible. The second benefit is that the same hormones aid in the functioning of the brain - particularly the area of memory. Delaying menopause also delays the effects of the hormonal changes on the brain.

So, that is why it is a big deal to me.

The other question you may have is, "Why is it a big deal NOW?"

And, that brings us to the cancer bit. As part of my treatment for Breast Cancer, I went through chemotherapy and that chemotherapy shut down the operation of my ovaries and really messed with my hormones although, at the time, I was no where near menopause. For women in their 20's, there is a small chance that they will resume their normal cycles. Once they hit their 30's, the chance is further reduced and, in their 40's, it is almost nil. Kiss a normal menopause goodbye and welcome to all of the woes of old age - decades early. For not only are you forced through early menopause but the whole 10+ years process is compacted into about 4 months. Your body ages over 10 years in that time!

I, like the others, stopped my periods. A year went by and no periods. But then, 16 months later, I had a period. Testing showed my FSH levels back to normal for a pre-menopausal woman. A miracle. My life seemed to have returned to the pre-chemo phase. But, then the next month came and...no period...and the next and.....no period. After 14 months, I had given up and just guessed that it was all a fluke. But then, almost exactly 3 years since my original diagnosis and 2 1/2 years after chemo, I seem to have fallen into a normal cycle again. For, not only did I have another period after 14 months, but I again had a period this month - 2 in a row!

So now, maybe I can go through menopause like everyone else - at the right time for me. And, in the meantime, hope that my bones and brains can be preserved a little longer.........

So here I sit drinking chocolate milk and beer

2008-04-05T15:05:00.000-07:00

So my last post wasn't just an April Fool's joke after all. Here I am back and writing again.

Today is Saturday and I have made it through another week. YEAH! Life is still hectic and I wonder where the time goes to. There must be some big, black hole out there that just SUCKS it in! Whoooshhh! Because one minute, it is 7AM and the next, it is almost Midnight and I don't remember much of the time in between.

And here I sit drinking chocolate milk and beer. Sounds like a country song. It all came about because I got up this morning to go to Curves and work out but got a phone call. By the time I got off of the phone call, Curves was closed so I missed my workout. The next thing on my calendar was the Animal Shelter. But first, lunch. I broiled a pork chop and poured myself a glass of chocolate milk. Got another phone call and missed my time for the shelter. Walked into the kitchen and decided to cook another pork chop and saw the beer in the fridge. Would taste good to marinate the pork chop in that, I thought. Once the bottle is open, you surely have to finish it. But I still had the chocolate milk, too. So, here I sit drinking chocolate milk and beer. What comfort food.

And, I have been doing more work on my party. Calling folks to follow up so that, if I have space, I can invite more of the people that I couldn't originally invite since the aquarium is so strict on numbers. I am also trying to finish up arrangements with the hotel and next will be the lunch stuff. DJ can't be finalized until next week. Then there is the cake tasting. Wish someone would come along with me but, it is that "busy" thing again. A day hanging out in Santa Cruz and Monterey tasting cake just doesn't fit most folks schedules. And, I still have the flowers. Not to mention the Million hours of exercise I have to get in before I can shop for a dress (and, hopefully find a beautiful one). Oh yes, the hairdresser, too. Hmmmmmm.........Will be so glad when the planning is done but then it will be time to send out the invitations.

And, I keep looking outside dreaming of getting some of that sunshine out there.

Well, back to the planning.........

Time Flies

2008-04-01T14:27:00.000-07:00

So, time flies and I have been a terrible blogger. It is not because nothing has happened in this year of 2008. It is just because everything has been incredibly busy. I can't believe that April 1 has already arrived. Whew!

Jan and Feb were so full of Drs. appts as my regular semi-annual cancer checkups hit at that time. I saw the Radiation Oncologist first and he told me that I had graduated and didn't need to see him anymore. Apparently, the chance of a local reoccurrance (same breast, underlying ribs, lungs, local lymph nodes) greatly decreases after 3 years. Metastasis and distant recurrance is still a danger and only has declines at 2 years, 10 years and 20 years - although the greatest decline does not come until after 20 years. I have met many women with recurrances at 20 years.

Next, I went for my mammogram and MRI. They bypassed the ultrasound this year since they are getting a nice set of records from the MRI and will only do the ultrasound if something seems suspicious. The MRI was a traumatic experience to say the least. I had caught the terrrible cold that was going around and was coughing up a storm the week before. The coughing had stopped two days before the MRI so I thought that I was going to be okay. Not the case. The MRI session started off very badly. They had to put an IV into my hand for the contrast. The tech could not do it and tried to call someone from ER. No one was available so she tried again. 45 minutes later, she was successful. And I was stressed and in pain. We headed in to the MRI. I looked at this new (to me) machine. The facility where I usually do it was doing a computer upgrade so I had to go to another facility. On this machine, all I saw was bare, hard rubber. They had me lay down and I gagged as I thought of my bare skin touching that rubber that so many others had touched before. No sheet, no protection - nothing. My sternum was right against a center bar of hard rubber. It hurt a lot, was uncomfortable and hard to breathe. The tech, rather indelicately, reached up under the table and tugged on both breasts to center them to her satisfaction in the breast cups. Again, just hard rubber. No sheet or paper linings. They slid me into the machine and started. In the middle of the session (after about 1 hour), my chest and sternum could no longer take it. I had a coughing fit. They pulled me out. The tech was angry. You ruined the pictures, she said. I asked her how much longer and she told me we had to start over. Back in I went. My face was covered in tears and my body covered in sweat. I was soaked head to toe but determined to make it through. For the next 1 1/2 hours, I concentrated on breathing deeply - in and out, in and out and forced myself not to swallow or cough. It was horrifying but I finished. Afterward, the tech told me that I moved and the pictures were blurry. I couldn't believe it.

The next week, I saw my surgeon. She checked the MRI pictures and said that they were perfect. No problem. She also said that there was no change from last year. Yeah! That tech must have had a bad day! Another side effect was that I had a terrible reaction that appears to be an allergy to the contrast solution. I got hives, shortness of breath, loss of bowel and bladder control. Had to leave work and rush home where I passed out and slept the night away. They next day, the hives started to receed and I was better.

Finally, I saw my oncologist. He examined me, said I was fine and see you in six months.

I still haven't seen my GP, Opthamologist or Dentist. Those come this month and next. Ugh!

After all of the doctor's appts., I spent March trying to catch up at work and get my own home schedule back on track.

My 3rd anniversary as a cancer survivor passed quietly on March 15th as I spent the evening celebrating St. Pat's day with family.

I also found out in Feb that I managed to get a date at the Monterey Bay Aquarium to hold my birthday party. This is a once in a lifetime experience and I am so excited. My excitement is tempered by the fear that no one will come or that I will have way too many people. I sent out the Save the Date cards and no one responded so it looks like maybe no one will come. :(

The past month has been a whirlwind of trying to get the party planned for, make save the date cards and figure out what to do with hotels and day after lunch. I think that it will be great fun and really do hope that people will respond. They can't just show up. The aquarium is very strict and must have a number of attendees and each of their names. I am also limited in the number I can invite and need responses so that I can invite some of those that it broke my heart to leave off of the list.

And, of course, I am still working full time and trying to maintain, home, yard, dogs and see friends and family. It is exhausting and I have not been too up to par lately. The fatigue is still taking a toll on me. I am doing my best to eat well and exercise but my body has not recovered since the chemo and surgeries although I have to say that it is gradually getting better.

I am guessing that is enough of a catch up.

Happy April Fool's Day everyone!

Firedrill

2008-01-07T18:30:00.000-08:00

Now I know that many people run around their companies complaining of the constant fire drills they are put through. But they are referring to work.

In today's case, the client that I was at truly had two real fire drills in a row. The first occurred at lunch time (12:15) just as I was about to eat my lunch. We were all herded out the door, down the stairs and to the nether regions of the back parking lot where we stood in the cold, not knowing what was happening. I had no jacket and most other folks didn't either. We stood there freezing. At least it wasn't raining.

10 minutes later, the fire trucks showed up - 2 hook and ladders and the paramedics. They went in and searched around the building. It seems that there was a chemical or gas leak somewhere and they couldn't find it. Holy cow!

After 45 minutes, we were let back in the building. I managed to eat my late lunch and just after finishing, the alarm went off again. We were herded back out of the building. This time, I got into my car and hightailed it off to Starbucks where I could sit in the warmth and suck on a mocha. I headed back a few minutes later and we were let back into the building again.

As it turns out, the rains had knocked out a chemical sensor on the roof and it was malfunctioning. The fire alarms are now off while they are fixing it. Lets hope their is no real fire now.

Just another exciting day at the office. Fire drill anyone?

Slowly but surely

2008-01-06T12:27:00.000-08:00

Sold another book! Yippee! Another "Collectors Item" Imagine that. I bought a book purely for my own pleasure in 1985 for $9.95 (or maybe even cheaper if I bought it at Crown Books) and sold it 23 years later for $30 (after mailing and commission to Amazon.com, that comes to $24). How cool is that? Of course, I have only sold 3 books since April (9months) so it is not a quick, get rich process but it is money for books that Bookbuyers rejected because they "could not sell them". It was either donate them to the library (a very viable option) or sell them on Amazon. I opted for Amazon since I am always in need of a little extra cash and every bit helps. And, 3 books so far has netted $45 where as 20 books at Bookbuyers netted a paltry $2.45. So, onward. Every 3 months, I have to relist all of the books but Amazon makes this a very easy process and then ship within 2 business days of a purchase which, so far has not been bad.

But, here I go, running off at the fingers again.

Enjoyed the thunder and lightning storms yesterday and Smokey took it pretty much in stride. A little nervous but not panicky. I hope to conquer this fear with him yet. Thomas just goes in his crate if it gets too bad and soon falls asleep.

Caught up on some movie watching. Jarhead (a very tough movie to watch re:Desert Storm), Annapolis (another tough one but more entertainment value). Didn't choose two army movies on purpose. That is just the way they happened to come out on Starz, HBO or whatever. Then watched Aquamarine - a childish flick but somewhat entertaining. Only fell asleep twice. And a movie called Stick It about the phoniness of judging in world class gymnastics.

This morning, was finally back to my yoga class after a long hiatus due to surgeries, guests and a certain trip to Cabo. It was nice being back but boy was I stiff. Will take more of those before the old muscles and limbs loosen up again. Just doesn't come as fast as it used to.

A trip through the farmers market yielded only chocolates. It is a very slow time of year for fruits and veggies - mostly greens, oranges and apples - none my favorites and I do have an orange tree in the yard. The rest was just the tons of bakery stalls and I really am not in need of any of that right now. The body is only responding slowly to the influx of healthy food and the weight is not yet falling off.

And ANTS! Where are they coming from. I have never in 11 years here had an ant infestation but now they keep appearing in both bathrooms. Appear to be coming from the ceiling. Is there such a thing as ant hills on roofs? I am spraying them which makes my house smell generally noxious and makes me feel ill but I really do not want these ants here. Maybe it is the wet, cold weather?

Took advantage of the sunny morning to do a bit more weeding in the yard after yoga, farmers market, post office (yes, on Sunday - Thank you Nob Hill). Every little bit helps. The sun has now gone away and I am guessing that there will be more rain soon so I am hibernating back in the house with the doggies and trying to catch up on inside stuff.

Happy New Year!

Happy 2008

2008-01-05T04:51:00.000-08:00

Another New Year has dawned and I am truly hoping this one is happy and healthy for my family and all of our respective friends and pets.

The rain is coming down in buckets and I am glad that it is the weekend and I don't have to leave Smokey here all drugged up again. The last 2 days have been touch and go and it does pain me to see him walking around in a daze, running into me and into walls. If it keeps him and the house safe, though, then it has to be done.

As for me, the morning and evening commutes were incredibly easy. Either folks are still on vacation or they stayed home due to the rain. My only fear was driving down the many evergreen tree packed streets to get to the freeway. I was just praying that no branches would break off or that the whole tree would not come down on me.

Looking forward to a weekend of "Letting Go" of stuff in my study and maybe other parts of the house - just staying in, enjoying the rain and upcoming thunderstorms and maybe a few good movies.

Still wearing my "nipple cast" from the nipple reconstruction done on my breast in Dec. Will be seeing the Dr. about mid-month to get my tattoo and hopefully lose the "nipple cast". It made a very strange looking bump under my bathing suit when I was in Cabo over the holidays. Seeing as the only folks I knew there were my sis and bil, I wasn't too concerned and focused more on the hot tub, food and drinks.

The new assignment is going fine and they are already loading me up with lots of "projects", including going to London. As always, the job continues to be rewarding because it is so nice to be appreciated and know that you are truly wanted and needed. Continuous new challenges are also rewarding in themselves. I am grateful to have found this company and this career.

ATW is settled and tucked away for Dec and 2007. None of the nagging and inconsiderateness from National to deal with this month. Their disrespect and lack of awareness that we are "volunteers" and unpaid and may have daily job commitments does get wearing at times but the comraderie with our chapter team as well as the excellent programs and events that ATW SV is involved in putting on make it worth it to continue in my role as Treasurer. I will always be grateful for the friendships I have made on the leadership team and for their support while I was going through my cancer experience.

FDS has also been sorted out and is up-to-date.

The garden got a good strong 2 days worth of work over New Year's weekend. Michael came over one day and both of us worked hard on the backyard - weeding, planting and mulching - but only got through about 1/3. I spent a good part of the nice sunny New Year's day - weeding, mulching and repairing latticework but still have only brought the 1/3 up to 1/2. Still, it was a great effort and the back garden is looking much better than it has over the last couple of years. And, of course, the rain is helping everything. My tulips are starting to come up and my leeks continue to get bigger and bigger.

I have made some attempts at getting exercise back into my life and the dogs have benefited from mornng walks - except the last couple of rainy days. I am also trying to get some yoga/quigong in. I am starting to look and feel so out of shape and the extra weight is no help. Wish I had my WW buddies back to get me going again every week.

So now, with the rain, it is time (and there are no excuses for me not to) to work on the house and catch up with my mending and continuing with the endless task of cleaning out "stuff". It is obviously not my favorite thing and I wish I could just go through with a broom and a trash bag but, alas, life is such that that is not always the wisest thing to do. So, I continue to plod along.

And, of course, I am sitting up here at 5 AM writing in my blog rather than sleeping so that I can get up early and do that. Now, it looks like I will be sleeping in instead. Don't know how I come to be up at this time. Guess I should go to bed then.

Good night.

Musings

2007-12-31T15:22:00.000-08:00

These thoughts come to me not because another year is turning but rather as a coincidence of timing. I have just finished an excellent book, "Eat, Pray, Love". It is a woman's journey to find herself and is very entertaining and informative without being preachy. It so resembles my life which is what started me thinking again. And then I saw Oprah's Christmas Africa special last night which made me sob (as it did Oprah) and made me question even the spiritual quest for unity and grace which should be the right of all living beings but which so few have found in our world.

Oprah's statement that now she knows why she didn't marry and have kids because all of those were her kids really struck home with me. And I so wanted to go to Africa and devote my life to helping the AIDS orphans. But then again, I did so love the luxury and relaxation of Cabo this week also. And the warmth and noisiness of my extended family and the peace and solitude of suffering through my cold alone with the dogs, the luxury of laying in bed reading and the afternoon spent working in the garden with my friend and gardener, Michael as we discussed the paths of enlightenment and world journeys (actual).

So how am I to reconcile all of these different parts of myself? There is the side that wants to clear out my house right now and rid myself of all of the "things" that clutter it and really have no meaning to our hearts and souls. If I could be with those children in Africa who have just received their first gifts ever and so cherish the doll or ball and clothes they received, I would happily give them anything they wanted out of my house. I feel paralyzed sometimes because I don't just want to throw these things away but would rather give them to someone who truly has nothing - not to Goodwill or Salvation Army who will put them in their stores with some ridiculous price tag and spend a portion of that money on "Administration". I have had this feeling every time I have gone to Jamaica and seen the little children who can't go to school because they have no shoes.

There is so much that we have and don't really need. Myself included. And it is not a judgement. I still want. I want my house finished and nice and beautiful. I think the real reason is that I imagine when this is done there will be no more clutter. It will be beautiful and pleasant when I walk in and clean. How that all happens from remodeling, I am not sure.

And then there are the dogs. I love my dogs but did I really need two? Not that I am going to give them away now. They are part of my family, part of my life. They have given so much to me particularly over the last few years but still I feel as if sometimes they are a luxury, too. A thankful that they are a luxury I can afford.

All of this musing is too much for my mind right now. Too much thinking. It is a beautiful day with just about 1 1/2 hours sunlight left and I am going to go paint.

A little elving holiday entertainment

2007-12-15T15:41:00.000-08:00

Hey, I just made a total elf of myself. Check it out by clicking the link below.
http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1436756330
This elfin' greeting brought to you by OfficeMax®.

Why is it that it is the little things that hurt so much?

2007-12-15T15:13:00.000-08:00

On Tuesday, the 14th of Dec, I went for what was supposed to be my last surgery. I was getting my "other headlight" so that I would no longer be a "one headlight gal". I hopped off to my plastic surgeon's office for what was supposed to be the simplest part of my journey through breast cancer.

On arriving at the office, I expected to be escorted by Ravi, her ever so efficient and kind nurse, into the regular office where I would take a semi-reclined position in the chair/bed while Dr. W. did her wonderful work. Instead, I was led into a mini-operating chamber with a bed, light, sink and little rolling tray for utensils. I was asked to undress from the waist up and lay down on the bed. A little metal pad was stuck to my leg (wish I had shaved before coming!) to ground me when the electric tools (?!?!) were used. What was I in for?

The Dr. came in and began adjusting things - metal tray, tools, foot pedal (?) - oh, and yes, we only need one foot pedal, which is the right one? I lay REALLY wondering what I had gotten myself into.

The Dr. asked me to sit up and then began drawing with purple ink on my "right front bumper". Did I want my headlight today? Was there anything else bothering me. I told her that I had constant discomfort on the right side which seemed a little bulgy and I constantly rubbed when moving my arm. Hopefully, a little lipo will help that out, she said.

After receiving all of my purple diagramming, I laid back down on the bed. So far, so good. Next, the lidocaine. She said that the needle would sting a littlle. Well, I am the baby who cannot stand the dentist's office and finds getting the anesthetic the worst thing in the world. Give me surgeries, IVs in my poor depleted, scarred arm, chemo (well maybe not!) but don't stick me with that needle and give me lidocaine! OUch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch. The needle looked like something between the size of a shot glass and a beer bong and was full of fluid. She was injecting me with a saline/lidocaine solution to "numb" the area. Couldn't they numb the area before numbing it? OUch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch.....I repeat.

The needle went into the first place and I felt a burning, sticking, excruciating pain in my arm pit. I told the doctor and she had the nurse check to see if the padding under my shoulder was sticking me. Only later did I realize it was the injection. She moved all around the breast with her needle injecting and injecting and injecting. I was in burning, pinching, sticking, stretching pain. Please stop I prayed but kept my teeth clinch so that she could work. It was the worst thing I have gone through so far (except maybe chemo).

After finishing, she let me lie there for a while so that my body could "absorb the anesthetic". I thought it was so that my back muscles could unwind and relax back down after clinching against the needle strikes.

Next came the work. Lipo was first. I saw the familiar needle with hose attached go into my upper right side of my breast - just like on TV. She started moving the needle back and forth as she sucked the fat out. Oh, the pain. Why do people do this voluntarily for glamour? I told her that it hurt - ALOT! She apologized and said that sometimes the anesthetic can't quite penetrate as far as it could and told me that it would soon be over. I gritted my teeth and swore off lipo forever.

Next came the nipple. It was fascinating watching what I could. I was flat on my back and couldn't see much. I could see her scalpel moving back and forth, slicing the surface of what had been my tummy and was now the front of my right breast. It looked like she was cutting out a star. Next came the sutures. I don't know how many she put in - maybe 20 or more. I commented, wow, that is a lot of stitches - more than I expected. She said yes there were a lot of micro stitches involved in creating a new nipple.

Finally, about an hour and a half later, it was all finished. She got a little plastic cup, just the size of my nipple and taped it over the nipple. I was not to allow any pressure until the nipple was healed - a couple of or three weeks I guess. The nipple cap makes a nice bump in my bra and through my blouse making it look like I have one big, very erect nipple on my breast - Is it cold out here or are you wearing a breast cap?

There is still one more office visit to come before this is all finalized. I get tattoed to match my other side. The colors have to be mixed and the Dr says that is what takes the longest. It is tough to match the skin tone of the areola. I will be getting my tattoo in Jan and then, finally, be done except for the millions of Dr. visitis (okay, I exaggerate but there are a lot) that I go through every year. They will start in Jan/Feb with the radiation oncologist, mammography, ultrasound, MRI, breast surgeon, medical oncologist and continue through the year with more visits to the same and also GP, gynecologist, dermatologist (yes, every year after having breast cancer). But, no more pain I hope!

Tis the Season

2007-12-05T07:34:00.000-08:00

Tis the Season for many things and one of them is to blog - oh that would be any season wouldn't it. Oh well, it is like a party, any excuse will do.

It seems that some of my readers have defected to Facebook and, try as I would, I could not find them once I had signed in, registered, etc. Ah well. I am still here and happy to add my little comments as regularly as possible.

The smell of roses permeated the household after last weekend's final football games. Thank you USC for at least beating cross town rival UCLA and making it to the Rose Bowl. Not quite the big one where another 2 loss team (how does that work) is headed but it is still a place near and dear to our hearts and we are happy to be there on New Year's Day.

The rest of life is just about as good as can be. Thanksgiving brought lots of good food, company and family and much needed weekend relaxation although the ever present yardwork, housework, study cleaning, ATW, FDS, PAAS dog walking still continued. I took some time and got caught up on the TV shows which had piled up on my TIVO allowing me to have a delayed reaction to the Hollywood writers strike. Dancing with the Stars kept me entertained and I was happy to see Helio win although Mel B. would have been a good candidate as well. Marie entertained and I enjoyed watching her (think that the Doll routine was actually much more difficult than the judges made it out to be) but she was not tip top like Mel B. and Helio.

The new HD TV viewing is still not the experience it should be. Comcast has come out and changed all of the lines and the TIVO was changed for a new one but there is still that (very) annoying dropping of the sound several times during a TV show that causes one to miss key parts of the dialogue and, after paying so much money for the TV, system, etc. why am I getting worse sound quality than on my standard def TV? Anyone out there with a clue of what the problem is, please let me know so that I can get it fixed. I am all out of ideas.

Work continues although I will be off this project on Dec. 14th. Hoping to be on the next soon so that I can collect my Holiday Pay over Christmas and New Years.

Painting also continues and we are at the completion of a project which should be on exhibit soon. Here is a sneak preview

and a little bit more

It has been a fun project and I am sorry to see it come to an end. However, there is a wonderful snow picture that Lorraine sent to me that is calling my name. Hmmmm...........

The car has finally been fixed after six weeks in the shop last summer and another week last week. It is nice to not have the wind noise anymore and to listen to the radio at a normal level.

And, to leave you, a few pictures from my summer holiday which I have promised and never delivered.

The View from my friend's place:

Columbine - Colorado state flower:

Sydney, my hiking companion while Lorraine was working:

Thelma and Louise? Those Badlands do get windy!

Busy Sunday

2007-11-18T19:48:00.000-08:00

Well, I have to say that this was not one of my fun Sundays. It started off fine with yoga this morning. Our regular teacher was not there and the substitute showed no mercy. It was a little too advanced for me. I am just not up to some of those pretzel positions yet. At some points, I was also just too exhausted to go on (and I am not a total beginner - but sure felt like one today).

Yoga was followed by a quick run through the farmer's market - trying hard not to get caught in another rain. 4 hours or cold drenching at the CAL-USC game last week was more than enough wetness for me.

I arrived home at 10:30 only to start on ATW's budgets which National oh so kindly gave us a whole 5 days to work on. My comments that all of the leaders were volunteers with day jobs fell on deaf ears. Its times like that when I really want to quit. Then I think of the wonderful women in our chapter here whose hearts and minds are dedicated and who are truly special in that they played a big supporting role as I went through my cancer treatments and I really don't want to quit. So, I will deal with National. After about 4 hours on those budgets which culminated in sending a fairly decent version to National, I turned my attention to FDS.

Our Jr. Acct. volunteer had come over to help out with the books. I was already exhausted and probably wouldn't have gone on if she hadn't been here. The next 5 hours were spent teaching her about QuickBooks which she had never worked on and getting even more basic trying to teach her about entering billings, making payments and writing checks and then entering invoices, receiving payments and making deposits and even how to read a bank statement. She is catching on fast but is really very green. It is nice to work with someone that is very eager to learn though. She has already finished 2 years of accounting at Foothill and started in the program at Santa Clara which makes me wonder just what they are teaching students in those schools!

Now, my day is done and, of course, I didn't get any of my stuff done - yard work, laundry, cleaning the study, calling the phone company to straighten out the bill, calling a plumber to explore the leak in my bathroom before I fall through the floor, etc., etc. Not to mention the relaxation I hope for on the weekend such as watching the million shows I have TIVOed, reading the stacks of books and magazines I have here, walking the dogs or working a crossword puzzle. I am really hoping that Thanksgiving sees me making more progress in all of these areas!

I am done with my complaining now and off to eat dinner and watch a little tv before off to bed and another work day tomorrow.

Cheers!

Oh and here is a little photo from Aspen just to get the juices going and encourage me to post more.

Photos!

2007-11-08T14:32:00.000-08:00

Almost.

I have finally discovered how to download photos from my camera to my computer. Somehow, I woke up this morning and figured that this was the day to finally just do it. I pulled out the book and the box with the camera accessories, put the disc in, uploaded it and then plugged the camera in. My computer was even helpful enough to have the USB port right in the front of the tower so that I didn't have to crawl on the floor, struggling to get behind the tower and find the port. I plugged everything in and VOILA! - less than 2 minutes later, 511 photos downloaded to the computer.

Now, what am I going to do with those? More photos than I have probably taken in my entire life. Lets see. 511/36 = 14 rolls of film. Well, I guess I might have taken a few more than that in my life time but not many more. A 2 week trip to India resulted in only 3 rolls of film and I thought that was a lot. This digital camera thing with the instant gratification does funny things to you and suddenly photos start multiplying like rabbits.

So. Back to the 511 photos. I tried to sort them but it wound up with lots of folders in folders. About that time, I figured I should be getting to work and leave this next step for later (hopefully not 4 months later like the last step). Ultimately, I guess the best thing would be to burn them to a disc and save them that way since it won't take long at this rate for my hard drive to be completely packed up.

Would love to load some of them up here on flicker for you to look at but, alas, I am here at work and the photos are on the hard drive at home so it will have to wait until I can get some time at home - hopefully soon.

In the meantime, it is almost time for the big USC/CAL game on Saturday so I can take my camera and shoot lots more photos - yeah. And then, what?..........

More blah, blah

2007-11-07T16:32:00.000-08:00

Check it out! Only 2 weeks between blogs this time. Life must be getting better. And a good 2 weeks it was, too.

Got to go trick-or-treating with the candy corn crew. Lovely outfits for the kiddies and the adults. I donned my usual witchy type costume. (cute, not ugly)

Continuing painting of the "bodies" from Costco. Got some great photos yesterday. Now, if only I could figure out how to get them out of my camera........

Had lunch with the rep from El Camino non-profit org to discuss three upcoming exhibitions we are planning for the Creative Expressions painting group. By the way, the restaurant was Pasta? on Castro in Mt. View - good food!

Went to a pizza party for the DB team. My turn with the trophy now. Had to show it around to the family. Practice starts again in Jan.

Colondar party at Henry's on Sun. He was Mr. May and a darn good-looking one. We were really proud of our fellow paddler. The calendar was so well done. Had colon cancer patients from across the US - all artfully draped somehow in blue and looking really good. $15 for the colondar and proceeds go to the Colon Cancer foundation.

More yard work, more painting, repair work on a dresser that Smokey chewed during a panic attack. Oh yeah, and did I mention the earthquake? Exciting occurrence that. But I do think everyone has nearly forgotten it now.

Big brother's birthday. Some small amount of comfort for me every year that he will always be older than me. Heee Heeee!

More yard work, ATW books, checks, training new bookkeeper for FDS, CAbi parties and buying clothes. Some fit, some didn't - returned them.

Coming up. CAL game! Should still be exciting despite the dismal performances of the past few weeks and subsequent rankings drops. Friend coming for the weekend. Fun, Fun, Fun.

And, of course, work. Glad for daylight savings time. My sleep schedule was getting way too messed up. Is anyone else out there missing the long days of summer? And we are only in November. Still have to make it all the way through to Dec 22 before things will start to get ligther again.

Planted some Leeks on the weekend. They look just like grass right now. Hard to believe that they will grow so big. At least I certainly hope so. Harvested and ate one of my eggplants but it was bitter. Did I pick it too soon???

And, lastly, still no significant other (MAN) in my life. Someone please introduce me.........

A quieter week

2007-10-26T12:43:00.001-07:00

This week was a little quieter - Thank goodness. I was beginning to feel quite exhausted. Saturday started off with some FDS work to get caught up on check writing and the books. I had a raging migraine so didn't even bother to shower and dress. Somehow, I just wanted to hang out on the couch and snuggle with my blanket.

After taking care of the FDS stuff, I got back on the couch and watched some of the TV I had missed during my busy weeks. I was really planning on going to the shelter for my weekly volunteering duties but the headache continued. I got up, drove to the post office for the mail, came back and sat some more. My friend was having a welcome back party for herself (after living in Europe for a year or so) and I went to that where I was able to catch up with a number of other friends. From there, I headed over to my SIL's for my nephews birthday. Apparently I was a hit as an Aunt since I brought him the new Pearl and Diamond games for his playstation? nintendo? whatever? I can't keep track. At any rate, the gift brought squeals of delight so .....mission accomplished.

I was so happy to get back home and hit the bed, hoping that the next morning I would wake up without the migraine.

Sunday came around and I was feeling a bit better. I headed off to yoga where we worked on movements for the 4th Chakra. This is the glowing jade green heart chakra. The positions and movements involve backbends, arches and other such actions that open the chest and heart. I really felt much better afterword and my body, though a bit sore, let me know that it really needed the workout. Next was my regular Sunday visit to the farmer's market. I had a delicious banana and chocolate crepe then browsed through checking out the new fruits for this season. The stone fruits had been replaced by apples, persimmons, pears and other fall fruits. I stopped at a stand with a strange looking reddish purple fruit. After learning it was a Dragon Fruit, I decided to buy one to take home and taste - $5! Not cheap for one piece of fruit. And just as a side note, when I ate it later, it wasn't all that and definitely not worth my spending another $5 on it. At any rate, it was something new and I tried it out.

After a bit more browsing and my favorite stop - Bartolovento's Chocolates, I headed home (after one more stop at the grocery store for milk). I was just hanging out and planning to go work in the garden since it was such a nice, sunny warm day when my friend Stephanie called to see if I wanted to go for a walk. We set a time for about an hour and a half later. In the meantime, I took the dogs out to the front yard so they could enjoy the grass while I worked in the flowerbeds trimming plants, pulling weeds, etc. After half an hour, I brought the dogs back in and headed off to meet Stephanie. We decided to walk the Guadalupe Park trail which neither of us had been on. We met at the visitors center but apparently this was the wrong place to see the best of the trail. We walked along a desolate, weedy path and then tried walking the other way but were stopped by train tracks. Where were the Rose Garden, Fountains, Dog Park and other features I had heard about? We never found them. Nonetheless, we had a nice walk on a beautiful day - over 2 hours - not bad.

Next, we headed off to the Spaghetti Factory for dinner. It was barely 5:30 but the place was packed and we had to wait 1/2 hour to get a table. When we were finally seated, it was inside the cable car! Yes, they really have a cable car in the middle of the restaurant. The windows have been removed and you can see out and look down on everyone around you. We waited another 1/2 hour just to get bread and drinks. As we sat, we noticed all of the empty tables that had not yet been bussed while there was a line of people outside. Some of the tables stayed empty the entire time we were waiting for our food and eating it. Service and wait aside, the food was good as usual and we enjoyed ourselves. We had parked a number of blocks away and the night was beautiful so the walk back to our cars was nice.

Monday morning brought me back to work again. The day passed as usual and Monday eve, still not feeling up to par, I went home and just crashed. Tuesday was a painting day - yeah! We are still painting our plastic bodies and I am quite pleased with how mine is coming along. Note to self: bring camera to next week's class to take photos.

Wednesday was bill paying - started off with ATW. I usually only pay their bills at the end of the month but there was quite a buildup so I wanted to get them out. I finished off by paying my own bills. All of this brought me into work late and I missed an important meeting on the project I am working on. I decided to take a walk at lunch time and walked for a couple of miles - 1/2 hour. My body sure needed that. In the afternoon, I tried to catch up with what I had missed and ended the day with a 3 hour meeting on the project which raised more questions than it answered. I was exhausted when I got home and headed off to bed early after watching the Biggest Loser and being as bummed out as everyone else over the cheating by one of the contestants that had spoiled the usually uplifting and encouraging spirit of the program. I have always been inspired to get back on track with my own weight after watching people struggle to success on that show. This week's episode was totally awful and I would still like to see the producers do something to bring it back on track to what it should be - a change of lifestyle that truly changes the contestents and helps them achieve their weight loss goals.

Thursday, despite a good night's sleep, I woke with a migraine again. It seemed that my sinuses were really bothering me and I wondered what I was breathing - inside my house or out. Could it be some of the smoke from the fires drifting up from LA. Seems pretty far-fetched but it is not normal for me to have 2 migraines so close together. I headed off to work and at lunch time to the Quarterly meeting of Resources Global Professionals (the company I work for). It was great to see the other associates and catch up. The speaker was one of the founders and current board member. She was such an inspiring and funny speaker. She went through the business model, clients (45 of the Fortune 50, 336 of the Fortune 500, etc.) , benefits, practice areas, overseas growth - Japan, Europe, etc. The company is 12 years old and has done incredibly well - close to $1bn now. I felt so happy to be a part of this organization and excited about the future prospects.

After lunch, we returned back to work and, in the evening, I attended the board meeting for KMVT TV. I am a new board member and this is only my second meeting so I am still in the learning stage.

And, finally, today is Friday - yeah! A much more mellow week though still busy. I needed for things to slow down a bit. Maybe that is what the migraines were trying to tell me.

Know it doesn't make for an exciting blog but --- oh well. Maybe I will finally find time to upload those photos out of my camera so that you can see my vacation time, etc.

Happy weekend!

Driving a Mommy Van

2007-10-19T09:15:00.000-07:00

Let me start with a disclaimer that this post is not meant to offend anyone. It is just that I am not a mommy so it is strange for me.

Today, I had to take my car in for minor servicing. The shop provides a free rental car through Enterprise. This morning, Enterprise did not have any cars except a mini-van. I drive a convertible so it is very strange for me driving a mommy car for a day.

In other news, it has been a very busy week for me (again). My affair with the Cable Guy continues. He actually asked my name last Saturday after 4 visits to my house. He was here from 9AM (with 2 of his buddies!) until 3:30PM - 6 1/2 hours! The 2 buddies left after about an hour and another one came. A total of 4 for the day. And, no, I am not having an affair with any of them although it is probably the most time I have spent with any one guy in a while! The resolution this time was to replace the cable all the way back to the signal pole - some 3 houses down the row from me and then from the pole behind my house to my house and down to the box. They said that there was a lot of bleed through because the squirrels had chewed the line up pretty good. After replacing all of the lines, the picture looked good and it was decided to send one more signal to the cable card to re-set everything after the fix. He drove off and sent the signal while he was driving away. The cable immediately went down and I had no picture, sound, anything - right in the middle of the USC game! I called him back since I now have his personal cell phone number. 45 minutes later he was back at my house. After several conversations with tech support, it was decided to run setup on TIVO again and then everything came back up. Whew! I was exhausted by then but my day had only just begun. I ran over to the shelter since there were 5 dogs over there needing attention. I ran them through the fastest walks and yard runs ever so that I could make it over to see my two nieces in their gymnastics performance - it was so cute and their little outfits were so adorable.

I thought that Sunday would be a day to catch up on gardening, finish up accounts, go through the bills, etc. but it was not to be. After many years of not needing the second phone line in my house, I finally took the leap to get DSL on the other line so that I could shut down the unneeded line. Sunday morning found me out at the phone box switching the lines from one phone line peg to the other. I was on the phone with my father just to make sure that I was getting things right. Everything went incredibly smoothly and a short time later, I was up on DSL on the other line. Great! I thought. That was easy. Now on to my other stuff. My euphoria was pretty short-lived. The DSL soon slowed to a crawl. I called tech support and was advised to shut down the modem and router and re-start them. I did that and the router fried. Just blinking lights and no WAN signal. The next step was a trip to my friends at Best Buy to buy a new router. I installed it and everything appeared to be working but still not DSL. I called AT&T back and, miraculously, got a tech on the line that knew what he was doing. He walked me through a number of steps to get the new account set up and the DSL up and working on it. By that time, it was 8PM at night! How time had flown. Everything is up and running well now but I did lose two whole days of the weekend to my friends at the Cable and Phone companies. And, after a talk with TIVO in which they informed me that there was a new upgrade to sign up for that should address the sound dropping on the new HD tv, and receiving the upgrade through the internet 2 days ago, the TV all seems to be working much better. Great picture, nice sound - WHEW! 6 weeks later. What an effort that has been.

Other items. I attended a CAbi fall party and bought some cool new clothes. Some are backordered so I haven't yet received them. I made another visit to the reps house on Wed to return some things that didn't quite fit right and ended up buying even more. They do have some nice, good quality, stylish things.

I helped my friend out with some quick lessons on finding things in QuickBooks as she makes the effort to get the books closed on a non-profit she is helping out.

Painting continues to come along. We are doing a fun project painting the plastic forms that the swimsuits at Costco come on. This is a free form project with everyone painting their own thing out of their heads. It is so cool to see all of the creativity and we are really having fun with it.

My work with FDS and ATW continues with both of those falling within the last week, too. It has been a long few weeks and I cannot believe it is October. Where did Sept go?

I had my followup with my doctor after the last surgery. I am healing well and the scar looks nice. While I was over at the hospital, I decided to drop into the SS office which is right across the street to tell them that I had returned to work and to stop my SS payments. What a horror! I had to wait for an hour to see a rep. When I finally got to the window, I gave her my spreadsheet that I had prepared showing my hours and wages and asking to end my payments. Did I want to cancel my claim?, she asked. No, I said. My illness is real. My treatments were real. My disability exists. I just wanted to suspend payments since I am now working. Ohhhhhh, she said. Okay. Well, we cannot accept this spreadsheet. We have to have copies of all checks. I have them, I said and handed them to her. Oh and you have to fill out these 5 pages of forms. I told her that my work was all on w-2s and should be in their computers. They are social security after all. No, she said. We can't see it. She then proceeded to pull up my file and say that I had worked in 2005. Now how can they see that and not my current work???? Anyway, I had not worked in 2005 after diagnosis. She insisted that I did at which point I had to point out that I would have had a hard time working while going through surgery, another surgery, chemotherapy, another surgery, radiation and biological treatments. She backed off then. At that point, she told me that we couldn't fill out the paperwork because there was too long of a line behind me and that I would have to fill it out at home and then come back again. I about lost it at that point. I have already waited an hour, brought in all of my copies and done what I was told to do and you want me to come back again???? I asked. You want us to work but yet I have to take off to come in here. That is not right. I started to cry - really. I am not kidding. They make me cry every time I go into that office. She relented and filled out the paperwork, gave me a copy and I was on my way.

My question is this. Why did I have to go through all of that to tell the government that I did not want their money? You would think I was asking them for more. Now, they are "reviewing" my claim which makes me nervous because they still have the blanket "right" to come back and ask for money back. It shouldn't happen but nothing they do is reasonable. They told me that their review could take months, even a year and that I would continue to get my checks which I am supposed to just "hold on to" so that they can come collect them back after the review is over. This whole thing is just crazy! How hard would it have been for them to spend the 5 minutes to look at my last year of work history, compare it to the paycheck stubs I had given them, say, yes you are right, you are no longer eligible and put the stop in my file??? 1 year to do that? What do they have to do? Walk to Washington DC or whereever the files are kept and pick them up personally? And this is where our tax dollars go.

Anyway, I am looking forward to some calmer weeks ahead (I hope!). Not that I don't like to be busy but this is just overboard.

ALL IS GOOD!! :)

How about Stanford v. Appalachian State for the National Championship?

2007-10-08T12:37:00.000-07:00

For anyone that has been following, this has been a crazy year for college football. First, there was Appalachian State beating Michigan, then half the top 10 losing in one week and now, USC losing to Stanford! LSU is the undisputed #1 but not through their own doing since they did not make a very good showing against Florida - only winning in the last seconds after trailing the entire game. It is more like they are #1 because no one else is stepping up to claim the position. Congrats to Cal on making #2 and hope they can go all the way. In the meantime, maybe we should consider a National Championship game with Appalachian State and Stanford. Could be very entertaining. And as meaningful as anything else at this point.

And, on another topic, for anyone keeping track, I AM NOT HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH THE CABLE GUY! I know that it looks that way and almost feels that way to me. Comcast's continuing ineptness continues to plague me. After the grand debacle on the 14th which caused me to miss the start of my yoga retreat weekend, it turns out that Comcast was not even supposed to put in two cable cards (since they are both multistream cards) and therefore, I should not be charged for the extra service (an additional service fee for the extra card). I was so disgusted at that point that I unplugged the digital box and took it down to Comcast on Terra Bella and turned it in, asking for a refund of all of the associated charges for the period since I had purchased the new TV. I wanted to take out the additional digital card and return that to them also but that "required" another visit from the cable guy so that he could take the card out (since he allegedly knows what he is doing). Of course, that required another 4 hour window in which I had to sit in my house for 3 hours and 55 minutes to wait for him to come and then another 2 hours while he fumbled around trying to figure out what he was doing! This involved him checking my cable box in the bedroom (why???!!!??? - the problem wasn't there), checking the connection at the box outside and stepping on my plants in the process despite the presence of stepping stones at the box and my pointing him towards them, he stepped everywhere but on the stepping stones - aarghhh - do these guys have to go to school to learn how to be morons or does it just come naturally? Of course, all of the mucking around had little effect on the true problem. He took away the extra cable card for which Comcast charged me a "removal of service" charge that took 3 weeks to get off of my bill but did not fix the problem of the 1.Out of Sync sound/video on the non-HD channels, 2. gray screens and freezing of video/sound feet, 3. breakup of video and/or sound. For those, I was on the phone with Comcast for another 2 weeks, nearly every day. Signals were sent to my box but little else. What is worse is that no one from Comcast seems to know what TIVO is or how their cards relate to the box. They keep referring to the Comcast dvr at which point I have to bring them back to reality and the fact that I have a TIVO box. On Saturday, I finally got TIVO on the phone and they placed a 3-way call to Comcast to try to resolve the problem. The TIVO tech explained the problem to Comcast who several times asked about the Comcast dvr and had to be reminded he was talking to TIVO about the TIVO dvr. Then Comcast hung up and we had to start all over again. The TIVO rep was very patient and went through Comcast's dial tree again to get a new rep on the phone. The only solution that rep had was to send another tech out to my house this morning. In the meantime, I took the TIVO back to Best Buy and exchanged it for a new one on the off chance that the problem might be with the TIVO box and not with the Cable Card. I took the Cable Card out myself (not a difficult process), took the TIVO down, exchanged it, installed the new one, put the Cable Card back in and proceeded to watch TV. The problem was not resolved leading me to believe that, indeed, it was a cable card problem. This morning, I planned on being late to work in order to wait for the Comcast guy who was supposed to come between 8 - 10 this morning. I got a call at 8:45 from the C office asking me if I still had an appt. I said yes and asked when the guy would be out. The girl told me that I was first on the schedule so he should be out there soon. At 9:48 he finally showed up. He looked at the TIVO box and asked where the Comcast dvr was. I explained that it was a TIVO. Then he asked what the problem was. I explained and then said he was only supposed to replace the Cable Card. He asked where the cable card was supposed to go. I had to show him. So.............if I am showing him what to do, why couldn't I just go down to the C office and pick up a new card and put it in instead of wasting my time waiting for a guy who didn't know what he was doing???? Next he unplugged the cable and began testing the signal. It was obvious I had a signal. The TV was on and playing! The "testing" took 20 minutes. Then he opened the cable card, looked at it and went out to his truck for 10 minutes. Was he taking a nap?? Who knows. He came back in and put the card in. I ran it through all of the diagnostics since he didn't know how (I was an expert by this time). 45 minutes later, he was gone, having done nothing but I did get a new cable card. Hopefully, it will work but I won't know until the next time I try to watch a show. All told, I have spent 17 hours either waiting for the Cable Guy or with him at my house over the last 3 weeks. I have also spent about 10 - 15 hours on the phone with them. None of them seem to know what TIVO is or how their cards are supposed to work with it. So much for that relationship. 32 hours of my time for which I was not paid and indeed even lost time from work. Comcast really sucks - wish there were an alternative. Unfortunately, AT&T also sucks leaving satellite out. There would be a good opportunity here for a third company if it could only get over the entry cost barrier. I truly hope that when I get home this evening all works well and I am done with this whole episode. Fingers crossed!

Didn't mean to write so much on the Cable Guy but guess 32 hours of effort do add up to a lot. Anyway, being already late to work this morn, I decided to stop off at Starbuck's on the way and ran into my sis and the twins. What a surprise! Sat down with them for a nice mocha and snack before finally heading off to work.

And a quick review of the other things that have been going on the last 3 weeks (yes, I did other things besides work and seeing Cable Guy!):

Saw Emma at the Mountain View Performing Arts Center - Awesome theater, awesome show. Great evening.

Raced in the Treasure Island Dragon Boat race and came in second! Only 4 seconds behind first place. The first time that we have not come in last AND we beat one of the teams that beat us last year! We were ecstatic and all had to take photos with the trophy. Here I am:

Went to my friend Diane's 50th birthday campout in Big Basin. Beautiful day, great drive, yummy food - especially the somemore's.

Got the results on my bone scan - all negative - all good - no visible cancer.

Had surgery to remove my mediport which has been in for 2 years. The nurse tried an IV in my hand but could not get a vein. Had to resort to my wrist. Was awake during surgery which was interesting but there was a sheet over my face. I asked for a mirror to watch but was denied. Oh well.

Did lots more work on my garden which continues to come along and look better and better all the time. Planted an eggplant which has a nice eggplant ripening on it now.

Resumed painting after a one month hiatus (Teached teaching on a cruise).

Went to a CABI party and bought some new fall clothes for work. I desperately needed them and it is getting colder.

Still at a gain of 25 - 30 pounds and have set a definite intent and goal to drop those and get back to my pre-work weight before things get even more out of hand.

Got to meet my friend Sue who had been an internet breast cancer friend. She is the sister of a friend of mine and the first breast cancer person I could talk to after being diagnosed. We swapped many emails and personal feelings during that time. She lives in Chicago and was out here visiting her sister and I got to meet her face to face over ice tea and coke. It was great to finally meet her.

I guess that hits all of the highlights. Hopefully, October will calm down a bit from this point. This going at high speed for so many weeks on end gets really wearing. I need to settle down to a normal pace for a little while.

And, finally, Happy Breast Cancer Awareness Month (October). Hope the pink doesn't overwhelm you!

Wondering where I have been?

2007-09-17T14:28:00.000-07:00

Well, September is shaping up to be a very busy month. I do try to get to the blog when I can but other things keep dragging me away. Last week for example:

The first and most primary thing was that I had to get 40 hours of work in before 11:30AM on Friday. The fortunate thing was that I had 2 hours of comp to carry over from the previous week. So, no problem with the 40 hours you think. Well, there were complications to making that goal - of course!

To start with, the tiling on my shower was finally complete, after 2 years. I was so excited. With company coming, I was going to have my shower back in the Master Bedroom so that the company could use the guest bath. Yeah! However, there were lots of details to take care of first. The tile was all laid and thinset down but still had to be grouted and sealed. I grouted, waited a few days, sealed, waited another day and sealed again. Then, there was the matter of the shower doors - very heavy and unwieldy - a two person job. I was determined however and did manage to get them up by myself after much grunting, groaning and praying all as I was trying to balance both and keep them from crashing down all over the place. Next, was the problem of what to do with shower items (shampoo, rinse, etc.) I surely did not want to put them on the floor of my nice, new tiled shower. I really liked the teak shower caddy I bought for the other bathroom so ran down to BBB to buy another one but, as luck would have it, the one in the store was missing some of the parts and they didn't have any more so it had to be ordered online. Next, when I turned on the shower, the shower head was squirting as much water back through the hose joint as through the shower head. I guess, after 10+ years, it finally gave up the ghost. Another trip to BBB to get a new shower head. And then the install on that (which didn't take too long but was one more thing).

As if the shower, accessories and 40 hour week were not enough, I had to go and decide to buy a new TV (my first HD plasma - sigh). Buying a tv just isn't the same anymore. You don't just take it home and put it on a stand (unless of course this is your second or third HD TV). The TV was just the beginning. They didn't have it in stock so it had to be delivered (Ooops - have to go home from work a couple of hours early for the delivery men - cutting into that 40 hours I was trying to put in). The delivery went well but then there was the pickup and hook up of the DVD upconverter so that DVDs could be watched in the higher definition format. Then there was the new HD Tivo player that was required and, of course, all of the HDMI and Optical cabling (what the hell were those? - not something used a few years ago for sure!). And, Comcast had to be called to come install the cable cards so that the TIVO would work and the HD on the TV could be used. Comcast, in their ever so efficient (not) manner could not even come out until Friday and then only give you a 4-hour window (hence, having to leave work by 11:30 on Friday) and all just to install 2 cable cards! After receiving the tv, I decided that since the stand did not swivel, it would be nice to have the tv on the wall with a swivel arm so that all in the room could see the tv since I was having guests come over. That required yet another visit by the great guys of the Best Buy Geek Squad. They were kind enough to schedule their visit during the same window as Comcast and even came early in the window (12:15) since they knew I had other things that I needed to do. Their awesome job with the TV - installing the arm, hanging on the wall, hooking up all components and hiding the wires in a plastic arm was complete by 2:00. Still no signs of Comcast. They finally dragged in around 5:00PM (1 hour after their window) and then didn't know how to do the install and didn't bring the right equipment - aargh. Another guy had to come out - still didn't know what to do. By that time, I had missed picking up my friend at the airport and also missed the first yoga class of my spa/yoga retreat at the Four Seasons. This was getting ridiculous. At 8:15PM, I finally kicked the cable guys out and headed off to try and catch the end of the wine and cheese reception.

But first, back to the rest of the week. Aside from the shower, tv and cable stuff and trying to get 40 hours into the week, I also had to close the books for ATW which I did at 5:30AM one morning so that I could be at work by 7:30. Then, my friend Diane had her 50th birthday so, on Thursday eve, we were off to Vino Locale for drinks and food to celebrate. And, I also spent a couple of evenings sanding, painting and fauxing the walls to repair the places that Thomas had chewed. I also painted the wooden divider where he likes to scratch his back.

And then there were the wooden risers I bought to put under the feet of the guest room bed so that I could create a storage space under the bed. That took part of one evening as I had to dismantle the bed to get the risers under the legs and then put it all back together. All of this stuff in one week between Sunday and Thursday. (except the Cable and Best Buy stuff on Fri afternoon.)

By Friday eve, I was so ready for the weekend to begin. I made the end of the reception and met up with my sister and my friend from LA. After the reception, we headed off to the bar for more chat and drinks, finally dropping into bed around midnight. I was up early - 6:30 - the next morning to go home and feed the dogs and let them out. Grabbing a peppermint mocha, I headed back for the 9:00AM yoga session (really glad to make at least one), a stone facial (yes, they stoned my face) and finally relaxation by the pool. My friend, Philip, who had come from NY, joined us at the pool. At about 4:00PM, we finally left the pool and made our way back to my house where we were able to enjoy the new tv by watching the USC game (fight on!). USC won in a nice manner. We saw the ending at Linda's house where we had gone at half time for some pool, food and drinks. Getting home at about midnight again, we were all exhausted. The next morning, I was ever so thankful to have the extra shower as the three of us tried to get ready for the day. After showers, we made our way to the farmer's market where we enjoyed delicious crepes (mine - crab, avocado and asparagus, theirs - ham and cheese) and tasted our way through the fruits, vegetables and chocolates of the market. As afternoon came, Jolene and Philip boarded their planes to return to LA and NY respectively. It had been a wonderful weekend with wonderful friends and family. I was exhausted and thought I might sit down to enjoy some more of the new tv. However, I forgot that I had not yet setup the TIVO on the network and spent the next 3 hours on and off the phone with my BIL and the TIVO tech support staff trying to get it all set up. Whew! Buying a new tv is hard. At last, I was able to watch the great outfits of the Emmys in HD detail - what an experience.

And, what a week! All good but incredibly busy and tiring. I am doing my best to make it through work today and then looking forward to resting at home this evening before going on to more ventures.

The Journey continues - Custer Park and other fun

2007-09-04T18:57:00.000-07:00

La, la, la - I am sitting here waiting for a big file to run. So boring so I decided to catch up a bit more.

On Sunday, the last full day of our road trip, Lorraine and I rose early (again) to go horse back riding. We drove moderately up the highway expecting that we might see Bison again. The prairie dogs were back in full force and, of course, I was totally amused again. Just love those little guys. We got into Custer Park and drove up to Blue Bell Lodge. They have a full stable set up there. We got our helmets, signed our waivers, paid the fee, took some photos and finally mounted the horses for our ride. We were lucky to be the only two that morning. Our guide was a nice girl from Minnesota who had moved out to South Dakota with her boyfriend who managed a cattle ranch. She was telling us how they had to sell their house in Minnesota and how much trouble and cost it was finding a new place in South Dakota. I couldn't catch everything she said but it sounded like she was saying that a gentleman's ranch (not a working ranch) of only (yes only) 15 acres (with a house on it) was $650,000. Wow! They don't know how lucky they have it out there.

The ride was nice although we didn't see much wildlife (some turkeys) since it was already starting to get warm. Lorraine's horse just wanted to eat and poop. Mine followed up the rear and did okay. Overall, it was a nice ride.

After our ride, we decided to drive through Custer State Park. We dutifully paid our fees (yes you get week passes at the parks but we had gone to a National Park, National Monument and State Park - all of which require separate fees). The Ranger was very kind and friendly and told us just where to go to find the Buffalo and Elk. We headed off into the park and soon found lots and lots and lots of Buffalo. It was rutting season so all of the males both young and old were feeling very frisky. They were making these grunting noises that I found very funny and fake charging each other. They also had some very serious staredowns. Of course, I was trying to get photos of it all. At one point, two buffalos were heading our way - right towards the car and I was trying to get photos. Just as they were coming up out of the creek bed, a cowboy went riding by, scaring them off and spoiling the photo. So, what did I do? Took a photo of the cowboy instead! :)

We soon found that the cowboy was a member of a wagon train. We didn't know it at the time but read in the paper the next day that the group was not just on a tourist "wagon train ride" as we thought. They were actually a part of a wagon train party that was traveling the route for a number of days and living like the settlers on the wagon trains. Sounded interesting to me.

After getting past the wagon train, we entered Elk country. The elk weren't as prolific as the buffalo and, for a while, we thought that we wouldn't see any. Finally, we saw one, laying/sitting all by itself out in the middle of a field. Of course, I had to take a photo, and another one, and another one, and another one........The wind kept blowing the camera and I couldn't quite get the guy centered in the photo.

We drove out of the park and saw a few more elk along the way. Our next adventure was to be the last approach to Mt. Rushmore which goes through "the tunnels". The road is beautiful but very windy (not like the wind but like s-curves). It wound back and forth, back and forth. When we came to the first tunnel, it was well worth it. What an amazing view! You can see Rushmore framed perfectly through the tunnel. Everyone was stopping to get out and take photos and we did, too. You had to wait your turn and wait for the cars to clear out so it took awhile. There was a Corvette club out that day and they were all over the place with their tops down (the cars) and their yelling voices. We waited and took photos. Some of them look like Rushmore is sitting right on your shoulder.

There are 3 tunnels built into the rocks this way. It is an amazing architectural feat that must have really taken some planning. At first, I thought that only 2 of the tunnels looked through at Rushmore but, when we got through the 3rd tunnel and turned around to come back, we discovered that the 2nd tunnel also looks at Rushmore but from the other direction! Amazing!

I was really glad that we had decided to go up that road because we almost didn't due to time but it was well worth it, at least to me.

After the tunnels, we decided to drive across another scenic route called the Needles highway. There are tunnels on that road that a motorhome cannot get through so they are warned away from there. The wild flowers were amazing and the views of the black hills incredible. There is a lake surrounded by huge bolders (about 2 stories high or more) that was so scenic. It is a resort town and looks like a fun place to stay. I can't remember the name of it at the moment. It was a hot day so it was nice that we were up there in the mountains where it was cooler. Temperatures down lower were peaking at 105 degrees!

We left Needles Highway and headed back toward Custer. We stopped in to see the Crazy Horse monument which is under construction still. The Head alone is said to be able to hold all of the 4 heads of Mt. Rushmore. Since the monument is privately funded, it costs $25 to go in and see it. We didn't really have the time so we told the guard at the gate that we didn't want to go in. She encouraged us to just go in and take a photo and leave and come back another time if we got a chance. Since she was so friendly and helpful, we did decide to go in and take a photo. And then we left.

We were getting hungry by this time and thirsty, too. It was just past lunchtime so we headed into Custer, found a nice place for some food and tequila/grapefruits (Gold Greyhounds) and relaxed for a while from our travels.

Next up: Mammoth Bones and Cool Caves.......

Labor Day Weekend

2007-09-04T16:31:00.000-07:00

What a nice, calm, relaxing weekend! I really enjoyed it and got some well needed rest.

Saturday started early with a little walk in the garden - how exciting that I can actually walk in the garden without stressing over weeds, pruning, etc. Yes, all of that stuff is still there but, due to Michaels hard work (along with some of my own), it is now getting to a manageable stage and has become a joy to walk around.

Watered the new plants and pulled a few weeds. By that time, it was time for breakfast and shower and off to paddling practice at 9:30AM. After paddling, I headed home to change and then off to my volunteer job at the animal shelter. It was too hot to walk the dogs so I just took them out into the yard and let them run and play. There was a little miniature pincher and he just found a bone and chewed it after doing a little exploring. The other dog was a very hyper furry Alaska dog mix thing. When I first put her in the yard, all she did was run back and forth at full speed the whole time I was going to get the little minpin to put in the other enclosure. When he came in, she hugged the fence trying to get friendly with him. He stuck his head through and gave her a kiss but that was about all. I put some water in the pool for her and she took running leaps across the yard to jump into it, then dug with her paws and danced around in circles. It really was a funny sight.

I left there muddy and wet and headed off to See's candies to use a gift certificate that I had received as a Christmas present in December. Not that I didn't want to use it sooner. It is just these darn 25 lbs that I have gained since then that really need to go away.

Heading home, I was pretty tired. It was about 3:30. I decided to take a break, open a bottle of wine and enjoy some chocolate and wine.

After a glass of wine and some chocolate, I decided it was time to grout the shower (now that all of the tiles have been cut and thinset in - yeah!). I mixed up the grout and worked hard at filling every crack, smoothing, making it beautiful. Of course, I did all of this with my hands, only reading afterward that I was supposed to use gloves and that the mixture was known to cause cancer - oops! My hand was pretty wrinkled and shriveled up but it looks fine today.

Hard work over, I decided that another glass of wine and some more chocolate were in order! That is how I ended my wonderful day!

On Sunday, I went about my yoga and farmer's market routine, stopping by Susan's and Bill's to drop off melon, corn and guacamole before heading home to do the crossword puzzle, eat some more chocolate and take a nap. What a rough day! Later in the afternoon, I headed over to Susan and Bill's for a fun labor day barbecue. Arriving home very late, I went straight to bed.

Monday found me up early (so what is new) and out in the backyard planting some plants I picked up at the Farmer's Market on Saturday. They had to go into the ground before it got too hot. I planted a couple of small sages and an eggplant (maybe I will grow my own eggplants). There is one little one on it and I hope it ripens. So far, I have had very good luck with this plant seller and everything he has sold to me has really thrived in my yard.

I also did some pruning and weeding, filling a bin and doing my best not to overprune the roses which makes Michael sad. He feels so sorry for them. I just feel happy because they give me nice long stemmed flowers that way.

At around 12:30, I was finished with the yard and headed into the house. The goal was to vacuum and steam clean the living room and hallway. I began cleaning out the living room, moving furniture and getting ready for a good cleaning. Along the way, I decided to clean off the bookshelf which is really a Video Tape/CD shelf except for the bottom which had some old school notebooks. I started reading through them and decided that I probably didn't really need my notes that much and started throwing them away. Then, I came across an old journal that I had written when I lived at Catalina Island. It was filled with emotion and the confusion that rains on 20 year olds trying to find their way in life, love and sex. I mention "good" friends quite a lot by name but really do have to admit that now, 29 years later, I really have no idea who those girls were! There are a couple of names that I recognize but the two main ones, Debbie and Louise, I have no idea who they are! And Debbie even made cookies and sent them to me! Oh well..........

It was interesting reading through it and brought back some memories. I was such a serious student - about time since I totally slacked off my Freshman year and had to start playing catch up in my Sophmore year.

After my little journey into the past, I continued the cleaning and managed to get the magazines and phone books on to the shelf in the space vacated by the discarded notebooks. This helped to declutter the place a little bit more - gradually, gradually letting go and simplifying.

I finally got the rugs vacuumed, steam-cleaned, vacuumed again and dry. By this time, the dogs had been outside all day long and were beginning to look pretty sad-eyed at the window. I finally let them back in and, wouldn't you know it, Thomas had managed to step in the one poop in the yard (I had cleaned them all of that morning but he had made a new one) and tracked it in on my nice clean, good-smelling carpet - ugh! It was all I could do not to strangle him - not really! I quickly had them both sit until I could get a rag and clean their feet. Then, I spot cleaned the rug where he had stepped and things were all good again.

After all of the days work, I cleaned the tub and prepared a bubble bath for myself. It was nice to just relax in peace for awhile. All clean and happy, I watched little tv, ate some cheese and chocolate (no wine today) and headed off for bed.

A wonderful weekend!

This morning found me up early for work and waiting on the new cleaning service. I would have to say that their work was good and bad. Some of it was really good and some of it not so good. I am hoping that they will get better. They do seem eager to please and came highly recommended by my friend. I was a little disappointed that they waxed some of the furniture I had already waxed and re-vacuumed the rug I had just cleaned rather than cleaning the windows as I asked. Now, I will need to clean the windows. However, they did a good job on the stove and the grout in the bathroom. The faucets were only so-so but, after I pointed it out, they fixed it up. Everything was put back in the wrong order and I had to go through and set everything right. They worked slower, stayed longer and charged more than agreed but the price was still fairly reasonable. I reminded them of our time/$$ agreement and the next time they will stick to it and I will insist on it. It is nice to have a clean house (except the study and the guest bedroom - one of which is still full of the stuff from the bathroom being worked on and the other of which is still a disaster in need of filing and letting go.......) I am not totally sold on this service but will give them another try and hope that things go better. It would be really nice to have some help with the cleaning.

And, that was really the end of the weekend. Back to work.......

Beyond Rushmore

2007-08-30T09:07:00.000-07:00

After the numerous breaks in the travelogue, at last I am returning to it. I believe that we left off at the departure from Rushmore. But first, a little back track on how Mt. Rushmore got its name. Direct from the National Park Service website:

“It’s never had any but it has now-we’ll call the damn thing Rushmore,” the guide, William Challis replied.

In the 1880’s Keystone (Mt. Rushmore is located just beyond Keystone) was a booming mining town. James Wilson was a New York mining promoter examining mining claims in the area. Wilson hired Charles E. Rushmore, a young New York attorney, to check on mining titles. Mr. Rushmore arrived in the area in 1885 representing the Harney Peak Consolidated Tin Company, LTD. , located at Pine Camp just north of an “unnamed” mountain. Out traveling to examine claims, Rushmore passed by the unnamed mountain. He asked his guide, William Challis, “What is the name of that mountain?” Challis jestingly replied in his now famous quote.

Later, Charles Rushmore donated $5,000 toward the sculpting of “Mount Rushmore.” In June, 1930 the United States Board of Geographic Names officially recognized Mount Rushmore.

After Rushmore, the first order of business was to try and get a battery for my camera. We headed into Rapid City to the WalMart. WalMart did not carry the battery but pointed us towards Ritz Camera. At Ritz Camera, the girl working the counter was astute enough to tell me that a battery would do me no good since it would not be charged either. What I really needed was a car charger so that I could charge the existing battery (I had only a home charger). The car charger was rather inexpensive and she knew just which one I needed so I bought it and we were off again on our journey with the battery happily charging away in the car.

Our next stop was the Minutemen Missile site, just outside Badlands National Park. After the cold war, the majority of the Minutemen II Missile Silos in the South Dakota area were removed, the underground control centers filled in and the land reverted to private ownership. This site was preserved as a National Monument. It has not been open for many years and the tours are still a bit rough which made it all the more interesting to me. Only 6 people can go on a tour at a time due to the small size of the control room. We gathered at NPS headquarters and headed out to the control center. On the surface, it looks like a 60/70s style low-one story building like many others in the landscape. Pretty uninteresting. We went in and saw the living quarters and heard the stories about how meals were prepared, having to put in a separate shower for women once they started operating at the centers and daily activities. There was a tv and vcr with numerous movies. Decor was in the oranges and browns and other colors of the seventies. From the living quarters, we took an elevator down to the underground control center where only 2 military personnel at a time were allowed and working. Inside the control center were banks of computers, 2 chairs, a bunk for sleeping and a toilet. And, of course, the infamous 2 key system that could launch the missiles and end the world as we know it. Our guide was one of those former military people that had worked in the control room and was full of humorous and semi-humorous tales of life there. One fascinating detail was that, not only could the 10 missiles attached to that site be launched from there, but also all other missiles in the system. The other item of note is that there are still enough missiles (Minuteman III?), live and active and being controlled by other underground control rooms, and scattered throughout Colorado, Montana, North Dakota and Northern South Dakota, to destroy the world many times over. A very scary thought.

From the control center, we went out the the missile site where a large plexiglass has been installed over the ground above the missile silo. We were looking directly down on the missile as it stood in its silo in the ground. A huge and daunting sight. It was very hot and the commentary seemed like it was starting to go on a bit - after a 2 hour tour - and we were getting anxious to head off to our next destination.

Finally, it was over and we headed off to the town of Wall, home of Wall Drug. Wall Drug was actually a real place at one time - a drug store and soda fountain without much business from the interstate until the owner and his wife got the idea to serve free water to passersby. This brought folks in and the kitschy, tourist trap that is now Wall Drug was born. It is rooms and rooms (a whole block of conjoined buildings) of tourist "junk" - post cards, stuffed toys, t-shirts - 1/2 of a whole room dedicated to t-shirts for the Sturgis motorcycle rally coming up in August, statues, statuettes, etc., etc., etc. We found the room where the cafeteria was and had some food since we had heard that there wasn't any food available in the Badlands. We took some photos with the lifesize miner, card player, cowboy statues and had a look at the Black Hills gold jewelry (I have seen better pieces here in California) and then we were on our way - happy to leave the kitschy, noisy place behind us.

We entered Badlands parks and were immediately transported to another world. The land is very bare and deserty. The whole area was once under water and then carved out by glaciers, rivers and the wind leaving a landscape of deep canyons, multi-colored, striped and flat-topped buttes. I could only imagine the wagon trains trying to get through this landscape and understood why it was called the badlands. There is a drive that goes around the northern part of the park and has a number of points where you can park, get out and walk on paths for short hikes. All along the way, you are warned to watch for rattlesnakes and cactus spines. The whole place had a quietness and beauty to it and we were happy to have made the journey to see it.

After traveling the loop of the Badlands, we headed back to Rushmore. This time, we turned off just at the edge of Rapid City and headed south to take one of the other approaches in to Rushmore. We arrived in time for the lighting ceremony as planned. The parking structure that had been so empty that morning was full. We finally found a place and headed in. The amphitheatre was packed and there were many people standing around. I headed back out to the walkway to try and get a few more photos of the heads in the twilight before losing to much of the light. We found a seat on a wall and settled in for the ceremony. The first part was very long and drawn out since we had already made the walk around the monument and seen the museum. Most of that was repeated and went on and on for about an hour I think. The only thing that kept us there was the lure of seeing the Monument lit at night. At last, the talking ended and we were shown a movie which was pretty good and finally the lighting. It was very anti-climatic. Nothing dramatic at all and not even very well lit but then, we were tired after a long day and really hoping for more for our efforts. After the lighting, 'America the Beautiful' was sung by the crowd. As usual, it choked me up. I do have a great appreciation and love for this country - even more so after having spent so many years overseas.

Following the lighting, all of the active service personnel were called to the stage. There were so many of them and an incredible number were women. Each one began giving a brief introduction. At that point, we were very tired (It was about 10PM) and, not wanting to get caught in the traffic jam getting out of the parking structure, we left.

The drive back to Hot Springs was about 1 1/2 hours. We were tired and I was hungry but we couldn't seem to find any place to eat. After awhile, the tiredness just took over and I forgot the hunger and just wanted to sleep. At this time, I was driving and trying to take it at a fairly moderate pace since I knew there were Bison in the area and really didn't want to have a collision. We were the only car on the road for a lot of the journey. At some point, another car (truck) appeared behind us and started riding my tail. It was a 2 lane road so there was really no need for the tailgating. I sped up a little and the person sped up. I was now doing about 70. I decided to try another tactic. I slowed down gradually, ever so gradually, just kept slowing down, gradually, gradually, gradually until I was going about 30, plenty of opportunity for the person to pass me. But......the person did not pass. Just slowed down while still tailgating me. At first, I thought it might be a policeman but it didn't seem that way and I could tell that it was a truck. I started to get really frightened. After all, we were just two girls out in the middle of nowhere - no cars, no towns - with some stranger playing a wierd game with us.

I sped back up to 60 and the stranger did also. This went on for a while. Finally, a sign came up and I could see a small town just off the highway. All dark but I thought there might be an opportunity here. I kept going 60 and just as I reached the exit, I swerved onto it. The truck overshot and went on by. Now we were on a strange road, dark and going who knows where but the truck was past. I started to pull in to turn around and head back out onto the road when I saw the truck stop, back up and come right onto the offramp after us. Now, I was really scared. There were some buildings up ahead and I headed toward them. They were dark but I thought someone might be around. I could also see that the road curved around at that point and back onto the highway which had the juncture where we needed to turn off to get onto the highway for our way back to Hot Springs. I guess that the idea of the buildings and maybe getting caught finally scared off the person in the truck and he/she finally turned off and left us alone. I breathed a deep sigh of relief. I don't even think Lorraine had realized how scared I was since she wasn't driving and so hadn't seen in the rear view mirror all of the antics going on until I was to a point where I was scared and mentioned it (about the point where I took the quick exit).

The last 1/2 hour of the journey was pretty uneventful and, at last, we arrived back at the hotel and were happy to drift off to sleep.

Coming Next - Horseback Rides, Crazy Horse, Mammoths and Caves..........

Movies, movies, movies

2007-08-30T08:56:00.000-07:00

This weekend (and the last couple of days) I tried to catch up a little on my movie watching so went to the video store and rented 6 dvds. Yellow, The Break Up, Lonely Hearts, Charlotte's Web, Breach and Because I Said So. Of all the movies, I would say that only Charlotte's Web was worth seeing. It was cute and well done, entertaining even though it was about a spider (sorry Susan) and a pretty ugly-looking spider at that. It even gave me the creeps. However, I did find the movie charming in an old Disney kind of way. Breach was somewhat fascinating - about the take down of a long term mole in the CIA (can't remember his name but believe he was exposed in the 80's) just days before his retirement. Not a great movie though.

Yellow was about a Puerto Rican ballet dancer who comes to NY and has to perform as a stripper until she gets her chance to be a dancer in a Broadway show. Sorry, despite the name, not a movie for Sam. Because I Said So and The Break Up were the standard cutesy movies. Entertaining enough but forgettable. Lonely Hearts was a gorey true story of a couple who lured women from lonely hearts ads and then took their money and killed them. Very dark and hard to follow.

And, that's that. If anyone has suggestions for good movies, please let me know.

And what about the rest of the weekend?

2007-08-29T15:41:00.000-07:00

Aside from the nice day spent getting the bone scan, I was my usual busy bee self. On Friday eve, my brother came over to continue the tile work on the shower. It really is looking beautiful. Saturday was spent working in the garden, doing some more weeding and pruning (or over-pruning as my gardener would say).

The evening found me at a book signing for a friend of mine who had written a book. The book is called Happy About Working To Stay Young (HAWTSY) by Jackie Hood. It is interesting with a number of anecdotes from mature working individuals. Jackie is a strong proponent of not retiring and continuing to work far into old age. Not my philosophy at all. I would rather be Happy About Playing To Stay Young but supported her none-the-less. It is really admirable that she actually had the discipline to sit down and write a whole book. I can't imagine myself ever doing that.

From the book signing, I went on to the beauty salon for a visit with Angie. She is truly wonderful as she pampers, plucks, waxes and hydrates my face and body. A little neck, shoulder, arm and hand massage thrown in tops it all off. 70 minutes later, I am truly feeling wonderfully relaxed and beautiful. I just found out that her birthday is the same day as mine also!

I ended the evening with a trip to the video store and some good movie watching complete with popcorn. Wish it would have been complete with my significant other/lover/date/etc. but that is another story.

On Sunday, I arose early to attend yoga. My body was still sore and tired from the gardening the day before and my balance seemed to be non-existant. I was fatigued and fell a lot. Just couldn't seem to hold the postures. Even so, I finished relaxed and happy.

After yoga, I made my usual foray into the farmer's market - buying cheese, eggs, vegetables, fruit and chocolate. I got some good Indian food to take home for lunch. A trip to the grocery store topped off the morning.

As I walked in, my brother was calling to say that he was on his way over. He came and completed the cutting and laying of the tile. It is beautiful and the shower is now more updated. Just the grouting and sealing left to do and then re-hanging the shower doors and changing the shower fixtures. I am very hopeful that I will have a working shower within the next 2 weeks (after 21 months of not having one). Woohoo! Big smile. giggle.

I helped him with the shower for a while and then headed off to my Reiki healer for a nice healing session. My body as I mentioned in my last entry has been abnormally achy and fatigued. The lower back pain and pain in my legs, hips and butt are just unbearable. I was so tired that I fell asleep during the session and didn't even realize she had left the room. I left feeling happy, relaxed and on the road to healing and recovery.

Back at home, I cooked dinner for myself and my brother and we had a nice meal together before he headed off home, promising to return the next week. I then settled in for some crossword puzzle and tv action.

Monday morning started with me welcoming the gardener at 9:15. I was excited that he would be doing some more work on the backyard. At first, I thought there wouldn't be much for him to do, especially since I had already been working back there on Saturday but it seemed there was more than I anticipated. I left him pulling and digging out weeds at 11:00 and headed off to the hospital to get my infusion of radioactive isotope. The poor technician had to search and search to find a semi-good vein and then held her breath while she tried to get the butterfly in. She did it on the first try and with little pain to me. We both let out our breath! ahhhhh.......... She gave me the injection and I headed off home.

On the way, I stopped by Bed, Bath and Beyond to pick up a new papertowel holder for under my kitchen counter since my brother had a battle with the other one and the papertowel holder lost. While I was there, I also picked up a new rug and toilet lid cover for my bathroom. I thought the new tile called for a fresh new lid and rug set. And, then, I saw a teak shower rack that was just too cool to pass up. I gotta love that store. It never fails to suck me in. There are just so many things there that you can't find anywhere else - at least not all in the same place or all very easily. And, they take all coupons - no matter how old and you can use multiples so I had one 20% off coupon for each item I purchased and they were dated from 2006!

I headed back home where I found the gardener still diligently pulling/digging weeds although he had stopped to do a little pruning and cleaning out around the plants. He took off for lunch and I had my own lunch. By the time he got back, it was 2:00 and time for me to head back to the hospital for my scan - having properly metabolized the radioactive isotope through my system. I arrived back and laid under the scanners while they slowly moved up my body creating an image of the front and back of my skeleton. I could see the sideways curvature of my spine which seemed to have gotten worse since my last scan - or maybe it was just the crooked way I was laying. I could see the ends of my bones where new cells were being built which showed up as bright spots of light. I could see the space between my hip bones about where my bladder would be that glowed particularly bright. I didn't see any other bright spots - which is good news - bright spots mean metabolization as in cancer cells busy replicating themselves- but then I didn't get a really good look and I am not a doctor or a radiologist. At the end, the technician with his usual poker face said good bye and let me go. It is so frustrating not to just hear the words, "you are fine" and have to wait to hear back from the doctor - ugh!

I headed back home and made another stop at BB and B although I got out without a purchase this time. My next stop was Orchard Supply to buy a blue-glazed garden hose pot. It is a nice looking pot with a hole in the bottom for the garden hose to feed through. You can then coil the hose in the pot instead of it laying on the ground or hanging on the wall. A nice alternative that blends nicely with the plants in the garden. I also bought a paint scraper since I have set a goal of scraping and painting the wood areas on the side yard so that area can gradually start to look less like a dump and more like a mediterranean/tropical fairyland. After a stop at Starbuck's (I think I deserved a mocha by this time), I returned home to find that the gardener had done a nice job of moving my Irises back into their bed after they had been marching themselves toward the water and on to the walkway for the last couple of years. He had also pruned one rose beautifully and done a whole lot more weeding.

We headed off to Summerwinds to buy plants and benderboard. He recommended another garden supply store that I will have to try in the future. Sounded like a wonderful place. We returned and he started putting in the benderboard while I planted the plants including purple fountain grass and a white, yes white, lavender - not blooming at the moment but should be interesting when it does. By then, it was dark and late. He hadn't finished all of the tasks I had given him but he had worked hard for 10 1/2 hours and I had put in my share of work for the day, too. He took off and I went inside to eat dinner and relax before heading off to bed.

The one good epilogue to this story is that I woke up on Tuesday with a migraine (probably dehydration) but not the usual aches and pains I had been experiencing. Even today, my body is feeling much better and no residual from the hard work of the weekend. That Reiki works wonders and I have to thank the Divine and all of the participating Saints and Ascended Masters for their great healing work.

Lets hope that my good health and strong body continue.........

Cancer - the gift that keeps on giving

2007-08-28T15:22:00.000-07:00

So, it is all over, or so everyone thinks. I have survived the surgeries, chemo, radiation, biological therapies and moved on. However, it is not over. There are still the oncologist and surgeon visits (1 each) every six months, full day mammogram, ultrasound, mri every year, gynecologist every year, radiation oncologist every year, general practioner every year, dermatologist every year. At least 8 doctors appts. and one full day of testing per year for the rest of my life just to make sure that the cancer can't sneak back in undetected. And I still have my port in which needs to be flushed once every six weeks. Need to make an appt. to have it out but that is another full day off of work since I will have some anesthetic and can't drive myself.

As if that isn't all enough, there is the continued fatigue which comes at the least expected times, is never welcome and doesn't know when to go home. Days or weeks can go by in which I get nothing done more than going to work, coming home, cooking my dinner and collapsing on the couch.

And now, something new (will the gifts never stop?). The pain - aching in my joints, aching of my muscles, aching of every part of my body except my nose. The Herceptin did a number on my muscles, particularly the large muscle groups of the quads (thighs) and glutes (butt). The slightest bit of exertion - walking casually, gardening, etc. causes aches and pains as if I have been working out for 4 hours. It takes me about 5 - 6 days to recover. Just not normal! And the lower back pain. I have never had that in my whole life and find it very difficult to deal with.

And just when I thought that I had escaped the worst of it and recovered so well after the numerous batterings my body had taken! Will this never be gone?!?!

Needless to say, there has been some concern over these new events from my huge doctor support team. The first step was blood tests which came back good. I am not anemic and all of my blood levels are normal.

The next step was to run a bone scan which should show up any "hot" spots in my bones. This is my third one. The last two showed nothing except that the chemo had caused an additional 13% bone loss putting me on the edge of osteoporosis (thanks for that gift also). So.....yesterday, I had to take yet another day off of work (how do people ever lead normal lives with this), a day that I would have rather used going to the beach, on a trip, vacation or even just enjoying myself rather than making yet another trip to the hospital. The bone scan takes the better part of the day since you have to first go in and get an infusion of radioactive isotope, then go away for 3 hours while it processes and then go back to lay under the machine for another 40 minutes or so while it "reads" the results of the isotope moving through your bones.

I am assuming that "nothing" was found since I haven't heard back from my doctor yet but guess that I won't completely relax until I get the results.

And that is just another day in the life of a cancer "survivor". Yes, thankful that I am a survivor but still and forever living with the gift that keeps on giving...........

South Dakota

2007-08-23T14:52:00.000-07:00

We arose early on our first full day in South Dakota with a very aggressive itenerary planned. Would we be able to see it all? We thought we would just play it by ear.

After an early breakfast at the cafe down the street - burrito for Lorraine and again I forgot what I ate (maybe because I was looking at hers and only eating mine) - we headed off for our first stop, Mt. Rushmore. The drive was to be about 1 hour and the excitement started right away. As we were driving down the highway, I saw some Bison off in the distance and then, closer and closer and........closer and, suddenly, the Bison was right in the road. The cars ahead slowed down, as did we and I snapped a picture. As we were driving away, I turned to see more Bison running out into the road and blocking the way of the cars behind us. I wondered how long it would be before the Bison moved and let them through.

Then came the groundhogs (prairie dogs) - just the darned cutest little things with all of their posturing and chirping. Lorraine pulled over and I got out to take photos. That just drove the prairie dogs crazy and they chirped away like mad in warning. There were mothers with babies racing for holes and general commotion all around. I did manage to get a few shots off. They reminded me so much of the meerkats on Meerkat Manor.

At last, we were on our way again. There was a little coffee stand at the junction to Custer and I got a nice Mocha to start the day. We traveled on through the roads and at last arrived at Mt. Rushmore. It is up in the mountains, not along the prairies as I thought. You drive up an up to get to it. Once you arrived, there is a huge parking structure. It was nearly empty when we arrived and we parked right up on the top for a nice walk into Rushmore. We had shorts on and it was not yet really warm and, in fact, just a little cool. It warmed up soon enough though.

And, wouldn't you know, the new camera I bought for the trip chose just that time for the battery to die so I was out of luck in the photo dept. We headed into the gift shop but they didn't have the batteries I needed. Lorraine bought a disposable and off we went. The park is free and there is only a small fee ($5?) for parking. We rented audioguides and started off on the walk around the monument.

As you walk up, you are walking down a long walkway. There are 4-sided pillars to the left and right with flags on them. Each pillar side lists one state and the date of entry into the Union. We found California and Colorado on the same pillar, early in the walk. The two states had been admitted into the union very close to each other.

We could see Rushmore beyond the flags. It looked so small. Of course, it was big and looked big but small compared to the expectations you get when you see photos of it.

There is a large amphitheatre in the front along with elevators that take you down to a museum below. We started the tour walk around the monument. It was fascinating hearing about the workers and viewing the monument from its many different sides. The walk meandered around in front of the monument so that you were positioned to look first at one face and then another - Washington, Jefferson, Roosevelt and, at last, Lincoln. The walk took about 2 hours and a little longer if you were to listen to every part of the audio tour (which of course, I am driven to do). I heard most of it and only missed small portions. The museum had a smaller scale model which was still much taller than me (maybe 10 or 12 feet tall). It showed the monument as it was originally designed to be. Instead of just the heads, the 4 Presidents' hands and shirt tops were also showing. Time and money ran out so the monument is as we see it today.

There was also an explanation as to why it was named Mt. Rushmore but that story totally escapes my mind at the moment.

Next installment: Beyond Mt Rushmore - Missiles, kitschy shops and giant missiles.

South Dakota

2007-08-21T09:26:00.000-07:00

I think that I left off on my vacation installments just at the point that we had left 3 Sisters and were crossing into South Dakota.

South Dakota seemed like such a crowded place after Wyoming. Towns actually had over a thousand people in population. The roadsides were loaded with historical markers. We had already had a long drive and were anxious to arrive at our destination but finally I succumbed to my curiousity and pulled over to read one of the markers. It was memorializing an old settlement along the railroad trestles I believe.

At last, we arrived at our hotel in Hot Springs. It was fairly deserted but the room was spacious and nice with 2 large beds. The spa had a hot tub, Korean sand room and Korean marble room as well as a full time masseuse who happened to be one of the owners' 15 children. After making ourselves comfortable, we headed off for a walk around town. We were staying in the historical district which was comprised of red/pink sandstone buildings of vintage about the mid-1800s (if I remember correctly). We headed down to Evans Plunge which is the largest indoor natural hot spring in the world. It had been built over many years before so that it could be made into a recreation spot. We headed upstairs for an overhead view. The pool is built right over the spring and the river rocks are still in place as the warm water continues to seep between them. There are water slides, volleyball, hanging rings and other forms of entertainment all through the huge pool. It looked like a great place for the town to hang out. I would have liked to give it a try but hunger was driving us to look for something to eat. We took a look at all of the restaurants on the short street and settled on a steak house. We were in SD after all.

The restaurant, as with the rest of the town, was quiet and nearly deserted. Our waitress was a high school student - very sweet, quiet and willing to please. Lorraine had a beautiful flat iron steak and I had something equally good which I can't remember at the moment. I also had onion rings which were wonderfully prepared. The owner and cook came out to talk with us and he definitely was very passionate about his hotel/restaurant. He had trained in California in the Berkeley area and brought much of the adventuressness to his restaurant cooking in South Dakota. He had made a couple of wonderful fruit tarts for dessert and talked us into trying them out which we did. Yummy! I ate far too much, as did Lorraine and I think we rolled down the street back to the hotel. I had a nice hot tub before bed and we discussed the next days activities. Needless to say, we were both exhausted and slept well.

The next installment: Mt. Rushmore, buffalo (Bison) and more.......

Dragon Boat Racing

2007-08-21T09:16:00.000-07:00

So Saturday, Aug 18th was the Paddle for Life Dragon Boat event at Leo Ryan Park in Foster City. Team Paddle Past Cancer (our team) was there with a full complement of 20 paddlers thanks to the folks who came out for their first time or just to help out. We paddled in the second heat and lost but we finished! Yeah! As it turned out, we did lose our heat but beat enough other boats overall to paddle in the Repercharge (consolation round?) We geared up one more time and did our best and beat our first time by 12 seconds! Pretty good in a 2 1/2 minute race. We were excited and could definitely feel the difference - more of that surge forward motion and much less of the rocking side to side motion. I paddled in row 7 - just past the middle - a spot I was not used to since I am usually in the stroke or lead position. It is a lot different being that far back. For one thing, you have paddlers ahead of and behind you and they are not always paddling together. The paddler behind me kept hitting me and my paddle with hers because she was not following and even caused me to splash water up on the paddler in front of me. I struggled to keep on going but did manage to do it. Now, I am not a perfect paddler by any means but I do know the golden rule - always follow the paddler in front of you. If the whole team did that, it would make a big difference. The amazing thing was how many people don't know that even though the coach says it every time we are in the boat - and many times over. Nonetheless, it was great fun and the team is great fun and we are looking forward to Treasure Island in September.

2nd Amazon Sale

2007-08-17T11:58:00.000-07:00

After my initial sale of a book (collectible) on Amazon in March, there were no more sales to follow. My listings expired last week and I almost didn't list again but then I figured, what the heck, it doesn't cost me anything and it is pretty easy to re-list. Just push a couple of buttons. So I relisted my remaining 36 or so books and, on Wednesday, I sold another one.

This was another collectible which I sold for $10. It was an old copy of The Heart is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers from my college days. The book was even old when I got it since it was published in 1968 and still had the original 95cent price on the cover. Imagine that! I have no idea what I paid for it and it is beat up and water stained but had managed to avoid the usual scribblings in the pages that college students make. Anyway, 39 years later, the book has sold for $10, which after Amazon's commissions netted me $5.52. Not making me rich but amazing to me to make anything off of something that the used bookstores wouldn't purchase, not to mention quite a mark-up over the original price.

And I did notice that Oprah has this on her book club selection so there are a lot of new printings out there now.

Guess I will keep listing on Amazon.

My Birthday!!!!!

2007-08-17T06:51:00.000-07:00

We'll take a little break from the trip now to report on a very important event, my birthday! But first, a little side note.

Having visited my sister's house last weekend, I noticed that her puppy was drinking water out of a "doggie bistro". It looks like a sparklett's cooler for dogs. A little water bottle sits upside down on a special bowl and dispenses water for the dogs as they need it. I thought this was a great idea since my two dogs drink a lot of water and I am constantly filling their bowl and worrying that they may not have water in the daytime so I went out and bought the large, 5 gallon version for them.

After filling the bottle with water, turning it over and only spilling it a little as I tried to get it situated in the bowl, it was ready to go. The dogs, however, weren't so ready. They didn't know what to make of it, especially when it let out its loud "burps" as the air moved through the water and the water re-settled. After a few hours, they were convinced to try it out. Although still not thrilled with it, they are using it since there is nothing else for them to drink from.

Now, on to the birthday. Yesterday was my birthday - a day that I share with both Madonna's birth and Elvis' death. The day actually started the weekend before with a lovely note and little handblown glass vase (purple and yellow) from Lorraine. I was on my way. Next came a doggie card and singing e-greetings from my friend, Kathy. And, on the eve, a visit from Dad with a card and gift and flowers from him and Mom.

I decided to work this year on my birthday although I usually take it off. But first, checking e-mail saw a Happy Birthday message from my sil. At work, I received my first phone call, from my brother, wishing me Happy Birthday. My cell phone happened to ring while I was standing in the bosses cube (boss for this assignment) and I answered it since she was fiddling on the computer at the time. Afterword, I apologized, letting her know that it was my birthday and that was why I got the call. She immediately came alert and said, "no way. show me your driver's license. are you joking?" and other such phrases. I was confused and asked her if there was something wrong with me having my birthday yesterday. She looked at me and told me that it was her birthday! What a surprise! We were even born 12 years apart and are both year of the Dog!

3 of our co-workers took us out for a nice sushi lunch and then it was back to work for the afternoon. Another e-mail came in from my other sil as well as another e-greeting from my same girlfriend - a singing cowboy - hilarious! I would have sworn that she read my installment on Wyoming but she didn't and doesn't even know the story.

By 5:15, I had had enough of work and headed home. Got a real kick out of the vm my sister left on the phone singing happy birthday! The girls declined to join her so she was left doing it alone. It still brings a smile to my face.

My friend Diane met me after work and we went for a quick drink at Medio de Bodeguita (I think) - a hopping bar with some really cute guys hanging around. She had a mojito and I had my tequila and grapefruit (with a nod to Lorraine for introducing me to this unique combination years ago). Then, we were off to Bistro Elan for the yummiest of dinners. I had flatiron steak with heirloom tomatoes and the crispiest of french fries. The bread was delicious, too. Diane had a yummy Duck confit. We topped it off with a half bottle of Pinot Noir from the Arroyo Grande area of California that was wonderful. It was even served in the correctly large Pinot Noir glasses. For dessert, we split 3 tiny beignets with a flavored heavy cream and dark chocolate - so yummy that I was regretting the decision to split it. The maitre d' even brought it himself with a lit candle stuck in one of the beignets! A yummy dinner which I would highly recommend. Over my protests, Diane paid - my birthday treat! Thanks Diane!

I headed home to my good doggies - content with my low-key but happy birthday.

Today, I am off to the surgeon's for my semi-yearly check up and then back to work. The next post will bring us back to South Dakota for the next installment of the vacation trip.

Have a great day!

Aspen to Wyoming - Do we need our passports

2007-08-14T14:02:00.000-07:00

Aspen was fun and relaxing. I even finally started to adjust to the altitude and stopped gasping so much as I walked down the street. Yoga on the mountain top was fun and the hike at 11,000 ft (that's right -more than 2 miles folks) was exhilarating and exhausting. If I ever figure out the camera thing, you will get photos.

The last evening in Aspen, we thought we would rest and pack for our upcoming road trip. However, we ran into some friends of Lorraine's at the restaurant and ended up talking the night away. Nonetheless, we were up and ready to go early the next morning. It was to be a 9 hour journey that turned into 11 but what a journey.

Off we went. First stop, the kennel to drop Sydney for her stay while we were gone. Then we headed off to Starbuck's for a pick me up and, at last, were on the road for real. I was reading the map and navigating - as well as looking out the window and taking photos - while Lorraine had the chore of motoring our vehicle.

Up and over the Continental Divide we went, past Vail, Denver and some Ft (Collins?). The scenery was incredible and the day a beautiful sunny blue. We finally hit the border at Colorado/Wyoming and suddenly were in another country. The land stretched out for miles around us. We stopped in Cheyenne, the state capital, for lunch. A small town for a state capital. We found a little hole-in-the-wall diner where we could get a sufficiently greasy burger, fries and iced tea. The waitress didn't have the perfect teeth, body or botoxed face that we have all become so accustomed to seeing. None-the-less, she smiled her crooked toothed grin and was one of the most helpful and happy people I have ever met.

After lunch, we walked around a little looking at the historical old buildings and then headed off on our journey. More flat prairie lands. I really, really wanted to see a cowboy. We were in Wyoming after all. But, alas, no cowboys to be seen. No one to be seen except all of the truckers and other folks passing through on the interstate. We passed Chugwalla - home to the famous Chugwalla Chili - or so the billboard said. On our return journey, we tried to get us some of that chili but there was none to be found. Apparently the billboard led to nowhere. We found Chugwalla but no Chili!

On and on, through small town after small town. The smallest was a town called Lost Springs - Population 1. I do not kid you. It was 1 as in one as in 1 yes 1! It had a church and a house. We tried to imagine what it would be like to live in a town of 1. Do you have to confess sins to yourself in church? If you die, who crosses out the one and writes zero on the sign? The next sign of houses or civilization was 30 miles away at 3 Sisters Truck Stop.

We stopped for gas and, sure enough, there were 3 women inside manning (womanning?) the store, soda shop and restaurant. I asked if they were the 3 Sisters and they said no but that there really were 3 sisters (in a state made up primarily of men, they must have been popular). However, the 3 sisters no longer owned 3 Sisters Truck Stop. They had sold it. I asked to who and they didn't know. Jokingly I said, "to 1Brother?"They laughed and said that was probably right. The truck stop was one of those you only see in old movies. Dusty, one type of gas at one pump, the wind blowing and you could imagine tumbleweeds. Needless to say, it was not a place we wanted to stay for long.

The next town was a bit bigger - maybe 700+ residents. Thoughts of inbreeding passed through my mind. How else did these folks ever get married? There just weren't many people around.

And back to the passport thing..... When we got into Cheyenne, there were signs that kept saying Port Authority. And check in at Port Authority. We never did discover why.

At last, we crossed over into South Dakota and that is the next chapter.

Aspen - part deux

2007-07-30T09:55:00.001-07:00

On Monday, Lorraine went to work, leaving me with Sydney, her wonderfully sweet dog. The first two hours of the morning were spent speaking with a client about my next engagement which I would start the day after returning from my trip.

With that out of the way, Sydney and I started off down the path toward the Rio Grande. Sydney knew where she was going but I didn't know to pay attention. We got very lost and ended up walking along in a neighborhood far above the Rio Grande. I could see the river but could not get to it. At last, we made our way down to the river much to both of our relief. Sydney headed in for a drink and to cool off. It is really a dog's life here. There are leash laws and, around the streets, it is good to keep them on leashes so that they are not hit by cars. However, in the many parks and rivers, the dogs run free, sniffing the bums of each other at the beginning of each meeting and then going along their way. No fights, no heavy wrestling, just hellos and acknowledgements - so different than here in CA. After a long and peaceful walk, we ended up at Lorraine's office. I left Sydney and headed up to ACE's, the local enviromental park where I was expecting a wild flower tour. As it turns out, they did not have the tours there and I would have to go back to Maroon Bells or the top of Aspen Mountain or one of various other places to get the tour. By that time, the altitude still wearing on me, I was too tired to deal with it.

I headed off to the gondola on Aspen Mountain. Finding a Starbuck's there, I stopped of for a Mocha. Very expensive. In CA, they are about $3 something. In Aspen, they were $5 something. Nonetheless, it was a nice break. I then went into the ticket center to ask about the Yoga/Hike on Aspen Mountain. They gave me a brochure but otherwise weren't much help. I was beginning to feel a bit like the dirt in the gutter by that time. It was proving very difficult to find any help.

I began to work my way down the streets of town, browsing in shops as I went. I stepped into Helle Hansen to look at their new windbreakers (the lightest material available on the market). They were very nice, light, comfortable but at $100, I thought I would think about it and come back. Normally, I am a Med to Large. There, I was an XL. I asked the girl if they might sell out or if they had good stock and she said that they would not sell out of XLs in Aspen because their customers were not that big! Now I felt like a fat blob of dirt in the gutter!

I left the shop and continued my way down to the tourist center - walking street with the historical buildings. I browsed the tourist kiosk to see if there was anything of interest and the woman there asked if she could help out. I asked about the walking tour of the historical buildings and she became very abusive and told me to look around. All of the buildings around me were historical and didn't I know that Aspen had this history and that - I couldn't catch it all. I was in such shock from the bombardment and high-tailed it away and down the street.

I am pleased to say that things got much better after that. I browsed galleries and met a number of nice owners. Was even given cards and invited to send them samples of my paintings. I found a really nice sweater in another shop and bought some Aspen leaf gold earrings. Was really a tourist at that point! But enjoying it. I finally found my way to the lotion shop that Lorraine had shown me on a previous visit and enjoyed talking with the owner and smelling the many lotions. Of course, I ended up buying some, too.

By that time, it was getting late and I thought that Lorraine might be getting off of work. As I came down the street from my adventures, I saw her and Sydney getting into the car. Just in time. We rode home and enjoyed a nice drink, chocolates and relaxation.

Aspen - beautiful Aspen

2007-07-27T13:06:00.000-07:00

In case you didn't guess from my last email, I have been on vacation. My first real vacation in 2 years - one that actually cost money and I got to get on a plane and go somewhere.

I went to the airport with much anticipation since this was my first time since the "quart plastic bags, 3.7 ounce, take your shoes off" rules were put into place. I was so nervous about making it through security. No problem. Everything went off without a hitch and I breezed right through. The flight and connecting flight were both right on time and arrived on time in
Aspen.

I went to Aspen to visit my friend Lorraine. She picked me up at the airport and, after delivering luggage, meeting Sydney (the dog) and a welcome drink, we headed into Aspen for some dinner. Lorraine knows just everyone in town (although she denies it) and I was soon meeting more folks than I could comprehend or remember. We had a wonderful Mexican meal and then headed back to her place for another drink and some of the chocolate I brought from CA.

Saturday dawned bright and early as usual, although it seems that we (or at least I) did not get moving too fast. It was just so relaxing to hang out. We finally headed into town (with Sydney) and made our way through the farmers market, eating chocolate and fudge as we went along. Next, we went into town to see her friend's carpet shop (with their 2 friendly dogs - one a rescue from Turkey) and a few other shops. It was a nice start to the day. After dropping Sydney off, we headed for the animal shelter which was having an open house. It is an amazing place and seems to me that animals would never want to be adopted from there. The cat room looks like a little beachside, foresty hang out. Trees and stuff dominate and they get to run around the whole room while visitors can come in and hang out, too. The dogs aren't restricted to their kennels during the day but rather play out in a big yard with their very own ski gondola and large rock walls that they enjoy running up and down like Mountain Goats. It was a nice day and we headed back to her place. Feeling the effects of the altitude (8,000+ ft), I was a bit tired so we just hung out and relaxed for the evening.

On Sunday, we headed off to Maroon Bells. The "Bells" are a formation of three mountain peaks that look like bells. There is a large lake in colors of green, blue and teal that the path walks along and millions of wild flowers. We had a nice hike (if you don't count the bugs) and even met a deer along the way. I was trying to get a photo but it bolted when I got close enough. We thought it would run away but instead it ran around behind us. I tried to get a photo but it was a blur (even with the shake control feature on my camera). I was loving my new digital camera and trying out the various features along the way. As soon as I figure out how to load the photos to my computer, I will post some here for you to see.

Oh, and one more tidbit on Maroon Bells. It is the photo of Lorraine that I painted for her 50th birthday. The painting is called "Seasons of Change" and you can find it in my photos above (I think). If not, that will get posted later, too. It was pretty cool seeing the place in real life and we had a nice day.

Again, full and tired, we returned to Lorraine's place to relax and hang out for the evening. She also had work the next day so it was only right to give her a little break so she wouldn't be exhausted.

And, that was the first 3 days of my vacation. Over the next few days, I hope to get photos posted and gradually catch up on writing about the rest of the trip.

Hmmmmm.........

2007-07-15T18:37:00.000-07:00

It has been a long time - 19 days or thereabouts. I have been so busy. Finished up the assignment from hell which actually turned out well in the end. Then, had a few days (2 weeks) off since there was not a new assignment in the works at that time.

What did I do with my two weeks? Worked with the gardener on my drip system, gardening, pruning, went to the spa for my niece's birthday, had a snack and a drink before heading off to my painting class to paint (ugh!) pears (more on that another time). Then, it was the 4th of July. Did some more gardening with the gardener and stayed in for what turned out to be a relatively quiet evening with the dogs. Fireworks were going off for about 4 hours but Smokey stayed relatively calm and we all watched TV.

After the 4th, the hecticness resumed. Closed the books for ATW, paid bills, did numerous other things too boring to mention or recall, bought a new vacuum cleaner which is awesome on the pet hair and didn't cost an arm and a leg, had my brother working on the shower some more, went to a wine cellar emptying party.

Yoga, farmer's market, steam cleaning the inside of the car, putting in a new drip system and timer for the side yard, lunch with some co-workers, 1/2 price CABI sale to buy some of the clothes I loved but could not afford, sorting out health insurance, paying bills, getting estimate on bodywork for car, talking to tile people for patio, cleaning, dusting, painting class, planning trip to Mt. Rushmore, buying new digital camera, buying other stuff I needed, dropping car off at shop, getting on plane.

Yes, it was a busy 2 weeks and zoomed by. I am now enjoying Aspen and have been hiking everyday. Beautiful trails, beautiful flowers, wildlife. A deer was right in front of us on a trail today and, when we got closer, it didn't run away but, instead, ran around us before running away. The water is rushing and the weather is very warm (shorts and light tops, sandals). It is nice to be away and in such a beautiful place. Yesterday, we went to the new county animal shelter and it is an incredible place. The cats have this very tropical cat room that they wander around and seem to love. The dogs all play together all day out in a rock enclosure with their very own ski gondola and skis! I haven't seen any of them skiing yet. They did enjoy running up the boulders like mountain goats and playing with the visitors and one another. What a happy place for them. Once I figure out this digital camera, I can upload some of the beautiful photos I have taken here.

The good news is that I have received a new assignment and will start when I come back from vacation. I am just loving this new job. The best of both world for me. Work with good pay when I want it and vacations when I want them. Woohoo!

It is hard to believe that last year at this time, I was still in treatment for cancer and, in fact, was still recovering from reconstruction surgery. It really is all a dream now. I met one woman here with breast cancer, my age and diagnosed about the same time. She is incredible and runs the gift store for the animal shelter. She is thinking of reconstruction so I gave her my contact information so she can talk when she is ready to get started. It is amazing and wonderful that I can help others but I feel as if it all never happened. Thank goodness for my wonderful life now.

My soulmate...........here somewhere near............soon.........

Good Days back

2007-06-26T10:23:00.000-07:00

So, here I am again. 2 days in a row! Woohoo!

Things are going much better today. I got up at the usual time, found my keys and badge and made it out of the house on time. So early in fact that I was able to stop by the post office and the bank and still get into work by 8AM. That is so nice because it means that I get off at 4:30. Woohoo again! In all my hi-tech working years, I could never have a day like that where I could get off at 4:30 guilt-free even though I had already put in an 8 hour day.

The job from hell has now become more like a job from purgatory. I am still not a SOX person, not a compliance person and not a corporate finance person but have learned enough about all three to understand and complete this project. Somehow, these are the projects that bring in a lot of satisfaction. You know nothing and are totally frustrated and challenged and then, all of a sudden, things come together and you are successful. Not that I need that kind of satisfaction all of the time. There is something to be said about doing projects in the field that you know and love. However, it is nice to face these kinds of challenge once in a while.

So here I am on Tuesday and the project finishes on Friday. I am already 90% of the way through and may finish by today in which case I can work on phase two through Friday which should really make them happy and look good on my record.

Was happy to get home early yesterday, play with the dogs and enjoy the new look of the garden. Can't wait until it is all done but that is going to take some time because I am getting to the stage where the hard scape needs to be done - fence, gates, spanishtile patio, maybe a fountain and re-doing the slate walkways. It would be really nice to finish this summer and then buy a barbecue and have a really nice barbecue for family and friends. However, we are already up on July so I am not sure if that is a reality. It is nice to have goals though.

And, now, it looks as if they might send me on a project in Austin, Texas. Not permanently of course but for a couple of months (with visits home). Still in the talking stages but we will see. I am hoping that it is a stepping stone to a project in Japan but, who knows?

And..........still waiting for my soulmate to pop up his head. I must say that I have met, randomly, some more single guys lately. Nothing happening yet but it beats the time when I didn't know of any single guys at all. Send some more my way!

not even 9:00 and has been quite a day

2007-06-25T08:54:00.000-07:00

This morning was one of those mornings. The weekend was beautiful and active, as usual. I continued to work on the yard and am starting to see some progress. The ripping out and re-planting of the front planter area went well and looks beautiful- lighter, airier and more colorful. Just have to keep the watering schedule until all of these drought resistant plants get themselves established - about 1 year.

Saturday, I paddled with the team and we had a nice practice - lots of long paddles to try to build our strength and coordination. No more caterpillaring in races. :) We were to meet up with the coach for lunch afterwords but a car squished its way in between us on the way to the restaurant and then we hit a red light and coach was gone - she had no place to pull over and wait since we were on an overpass. After about 20 minutes of driving up and down El Camino, we decided to have a look into one place that seemed likely and, luckily, she was there! After lunch, I headed home where some wine, popcorn and a movie topped off the day.

Sunday, started off with a nice vigorous yoga practice. I was feeling strong and made it through all 12 sun salutations without a break. Didn't make it through the rest of the practice without breaking but that was okay. Making it through the sun salutations was a big step back to wellness for me. After practice, I shopped the farmers market - had a yummy strawberry, apricot, peach crepe, bought vegetables and yummy chocolate and some herbs to plant along the front walk (African Basil, Multi-colored peppers and golden thyme). Once home, I started to work again on the garden. The first order of business was to pull out the plants along the front walk and prepare the dirt. Fortunately, I still have mulch left from the 3 yards delivered for the front yard. The plants were all put in and fit perfectly into the space. I trimmed up the other plants along the porch and headed for the backyard. That was a much harder chore. I wanted to get the weeds cleared out along the back fence so that I could fill in with the dirt/mulch and bring the ground back up even again that had been sinking into my neighbors backyard. Their year is lower than mine and when the fence was put up, no proper retaining wall was built so my yard constantly sinks into theirs causing my slate slabs to slip and break. The back of the pine tree went fine and I was able to clear it quickly and refill with the dirt mulch. There was such a nice little space in back that I decided to get an azalea plant to put back there. I love azaleas and have been told they like shade and my yard is too sunny. Well, there was a nice shady place behind the pine tree. I hope it does well. Next came the front of the pine tree and the rest of the back fence. That was a nightmare. Somehow, the weeds were actually grass and had the same intertwined, matted rooting of a lawn. They were nearly impossible to pull and I ended up having to get a shovel and dig them out, causing dirt to get into the leaf bin and make it very heavy. There was also an anthill somewhere in that area and I was soon covered in ants. ugh! I grabbed the hose and rinsed off before they could get too invasive.

9 hours later, I was tired, dirty and a little sunburnt but the area around the pine tree was cleaned out, filled in and mulched. I also managed to clean out and fill in a little area by the back fence but still have about 20 feet more to go. Unfortunately, the leaf bin is full and I have to wait another week before it will be emptied. Yards are really a lot of work. Needless to say, my house is still horribly neglected with dog fur and dust all around. The kitchen is fairly clean since I do get the dishes done and counters wiped. I seriously need a good maid.

Anyway, I would say that the yard still needs at least 5 more weeks worth of hard work before it is back in shape. I have a good gardener helping out but, unfortunately, after Smokey's panic attack took out part of the fence, the backyard is too blocked off for him to get into unless I am there.

Well, I have certainly drifted from my original topic which was the events of this morning. After a fairly good night's sleep, I was awakened way too early by Smokey Bear when something panicked him this morning. No damage done but I had to get up to make sure he was okay. Afterwards, I went back to bed, only to oversleep. After checking all of the plants and feeding the dogs, I made my lunch and ate my breakfast, took a shower and proceeded to try to put my contacts in. For some reason, my eyes were not cooperative this morning. After 4 or 5 attempts at getting the first contact in, I dropped it on the floor and had to write it off - couldn't even find it. I opened another one and after another 4 or 5 attempts and a good round of cursing, it finally went in. The second one was no easier. This all delayed me another good 20 minutes.

After getting dressed and thinking that things were getting better, I grabbed my purse, lunch and portfolio only to find that I had no car keys. I thought back to the last time I drove the car and my steps since then. Finally, about 15 minutes later, I found them in my pants pocket. By this time, I was nearly an hour late. I hopped in the car and took off. Fortunately, the traffic was fairly light and I made good time. Getting better, I thought.

I got to work and..........no badge! Some places this is not a big deal but, here, it is. I searched the car because I usually leave it in the console - no badge, searched my purse - no badge. Finally, another 15 minutes later, I had to give up and go get a temporary. And, here I am, at the assignment from hell, at last. I wonder if my subconscious was saving me from having to face this this morning? Well, it delayed me, but, I am here and better go now to see if I can get through it and make some progress today. Only 4 more days after this.

Oh, but first, across the street to Starbuck's for a coffee! :)

30 year reunion

2007-06-17T01:13:00.000-07:00

Yes. It is 1:15 in the morning and yes, I am here blogging. Just came back from my 30 year high school reunion. Amazing! It just doesn't feel like that long at all. It was only with some trepidation that I went. All those old feelings of being an outsider, not fitting wih any one group, insecurity, etc. came washing back at me . So much so that I didn't even want to think about it until today. So......I didn't go shopping for a dress, go to the salon for a pedicure or anythng. This morning, I just went shopping in my closet to find what fit and was somewhat fancy. Then, I had to dig around in my makeup to find some more dramatic eye shadow, lipstick and mascara that matched the dress - something more than my everyday 5 minute makeup job. Then, shoes. Tried on the fancy ones that matched the dress and then decided it would just have to be the comfy ones. They were still okay but a little less formal. The same with the purse. The fancy evening bags wouldn't hold my wallet so I went with a black leather one that would.

Finally, at 7:00, I was all showered, shampooed, made up and dressed in my fancy black and silver cocktail number with my silvery pink toenails, black hematite necklace, real pearl and diamond rings and faux diamond earrings and tennis bracelet, eye shadow, liner, mascara, blush, lipstick, etc, etc. The cocktail hour was at 7:00 so I knew that I could be fashionably late at 7:30.

I arrived, parked and forced myself to go in. The feelings were all washing in. I kept telling myself that I was a perfect human being and lovable, not that insecure 17 year old but here were those folks again.

I walked in, got my badge with my name and photo from the high school yearbook and walked into a room of strangers. Suddenly, right next to me was Reid Tanaka, my rival and number one competition in math. I am proud to say that he never managed to beat me though he gave it a valiant effort. He seemed much shorter than I remembered. Shorter than me in fact. I guess I got taller. We talked and he is a 26 year Navy veteran specializing in submarines. We discovered that another classmate, Arnie Brown was not there because he is now serving in Iraq (I thought we were too old for that). Next, I saw my friend, Bill Petrie, and met his wife again who I had met 20 years before. Things weren't so bad. I stood in line and got a drink at the bar and things got better. The reunion was a combination of the graduation class of our year and the year after ours. It was nice to see folks from the class of '77 that I hadn't seen in 30 years.

Many folks had become unrecognizable and we all spent a lot of time peering at each others name badges to figure out who they were. Many of the women had "rounded out" to middle age and the guys had paunches and bald heads. Many others still looked really good and some folks looked just like in High School. There were people that came looking for me that I didn't necessarily remember having a connection with in high school and there were those that I thought I had a connection with that just sort of said hi and didn't really remember me as anyone special. The nice thing was talking to folks that I hadn't really associated with and making a new connection. Interesting.

Some of the women had breasts way to big, solid and high and tummies too flat to not have had work done but they were in the minority. I have to say that I was proud of having my flat tummy and weight down (even with the extra 20) and thought I looked pretty good. From some of the looks I got, I guess that others thought I looked good too! Just had to throw that in from the insecure 17 year old inside of me.

Some of the personalities were the same. Sonia was there with all of her friendliness, good will and very short dress (as usual). When she danced, her dress crept up revealing her semi bare bottom (I do believe that she had underwear on but not sure). With my usual ability to blend into the wall and not be noticed, I was able to hear the cattiness of some of the women as they watched her and made comments about her perhaps forgetting to wear her pants that night. Sandy came in and just wanted to dance. Kristi looked wonderful as usual with only a few wrinkles to hint at her age. David, the class clown was wild and crazy and, as usual, the best dressed person in the room.

My old swim co-captain, Linda, very excitedly searched me out and we discovered that we both have two dogs and continue to love water. She also has a daughter and a husband but that is another story.

We all danced the night away and it turned out to be very fun. As we went to take the class photo, I ran into a guy that I had known but not well and he told me that he is now a fireman and had never been married or had any children. I mentioned that I hadn't either and he told me that was because I was always too picky. I was shocked and laughed and asked if that was what people really thought and he mentioned remembering Willy Thomas always pursuing me and me turning him down. That is not exactly the story but Willy and I were good friends. I laughed again and told him that I was much less picky now.

Then, it was off to the class photo and most people left. Some of us stayed and talked and danced and many stayed overnight at the hotel. It is fascinating to see how everyone ended up 30 years later. I think that, overall, everyone turned out fairly normal and were more relaxed and less pretentious than 30 years before. There were many folks that were divorced and joking about it. There were two friends, Kristi and Ramona, whose kids had met at high school, not knowing their moms were friends from high school and had hooked up and had a baby and now the two moms are friends and grandparents-in-law. The spouses or significant others also had badges letting you know who they were with and one female classmate had her wife with her - a big step for us oldies since that wasn't discussed in high school except for a few of the more open guys. Nobody cared or noticed and we all just kept on dancing.

I headed home feeling good and happy that I went after all.......

Ohhh, the things that we worry about

2007-06-15T20:21:00.000-07:00

For me, it is the pile of dirt (mulch) in front of my house. It seems that now that I am working again and actually earning a living wage, I thought I would have the bright idea to spend that money. So...... I am re-doing the planter in front of my house which has been bothering me for sometime now. There is this big overgrown bush that I have never liked right in the center. That is going. Yeeeaaahhh! and the ugly marguerites which look so pretty when they are in the delicate 4 inch pots but which become big tangled bushes with little appeal. The hedge is staying because it hides the automatic sprinkler system and is a nice guide to my front door. The rose is staying because I love roses. The sage and geranium are also staying with their lovely dark purple and bright orange flowers. The rest is all going.

Which brings me back to the dirt/mulch. The planter is very low on dirt and has been for some time. It hasn't been fertilized in 10 years although it has been mulched so, needless to say, before further planting, some dirt needs to be put back in. The best place for clean dirt (is that an oxymoron?) is Wheeler Farms, a truly mom and pop operation that, supposedly has magic soil. Their minimum load to deliver is 3 yards which is about the size of a Mini or a small Volkswagen. They only deliver on Tues, Wed or Thurs. My gardener/digger/planter/dirt mover can only come on Monday so that left me with a dilemma. I explained to them that I couldn't have this load of dirt in the middle of my driveway because then I couldn't get my car in and out of the garage. They said, "no problem, you live in Mountain View. we can dump in the street there without you getting a ticket" so I said okay. I asked when since I wanted to be home to see this and maybe still guide them to dump on one side of the driveway. They gave me a 4 hour window which of course I couldn't make since I am now a working gal so they gave me a 2 hour window and then finally said how about 12 - 1. So, on Thursday, I dutifully came home from 12 -1 and no truck. I went back to work. Who knows when they came? I got home at 9:15 and there was a big pile of dirt in the street, extending all the way to the middle of the street! I thought that was too much of a hazard. I could not block the street for 4 days. So, I got my shovel and started shoveling the mulch towards the curb until it got too dark to see. By that time, it was about as wide as 1 big SUV or 1 1/2 regular sized cars. I thought it would be okay.

Nonetheless, I got up early this morning to try and move some of it on to the driveway. I went outside to see that someone had run over the pile, no easy feat since it is a bout 4 feet high. The dirt was spread down the street. I got my broom and swept it back towards the big pile. Then I got my shovel and a bucket that could hold 3 shovelsful and started moving dirt to my driveway. After about an hour, bucketful by bucketful, I was about 1/4 of the way through the pile and had gotten it back to the curb enough that it was only as wide as a small car. I felt like I was doing one of the stunts on Survivor.

After my day laborer job, I still had to shower and go to my regular job. Just a little sore and managed not to stiffen up over the day.

Then, I began to worry that someone would see the dirt and think that it was free and I would come home and my $200 pile would be gone. You can imagine my relief when I got home and everything was just where I left it. Guess I will go out and put in another hour of labor tomorrow to move more to the driveway. If I did that every day, I am sure I would be much thinner.

And speaking of weight, after going back to work and gaining (big look of horror) 25 lbs. despite watching what I eat and walking daily at lunch time (the change in activity level and schedule was just too much for my system), I am finally back on track and have lost 5 pounds. Lets just hope that keeps up for the next 20 pounds and I can get back to normal. Dirt pile, here I come!

So what else has been happening? I finished my project this week (today) and am taking Monday off to take care of the house, get the new plants in and take care of the million other things (health care, insurance, house maintenance, etc) that you have to be home on a weekday from 9 - 5 to take care of since that is when the other people are working. I soooo need a wife (or househusband would do).

Then, on Tuesday, I start a new job at a fund management group in San Mateo for two weeks and then off to a major retailor we all know in San Bruno for about 3 months. Somewhere in there I plan to take off a week and go to Aspen for a little vacation. After next week, I will have my 500 hours in and start accruing vacation and get my holidays paid which means that I now get to take the 4th of July off and get paid for it! Yeahhhhhhh! Oh, and the overtime is paying for all of the extra work around the house and hopefully soon, a new refrigerator and carpeting. Maybe not so soon - 6 months or more. There is still a lot of work to be done on the yard.

The rest of my week was rather challenging. I had a meeting for the startup I have been involved with for about 4 years on Monday and it went about as bad as it could go. I emailed the CEO about the lack of courtesy certain members have for the rest of the team and her response was that "we can't be nice to each other or nothing gets done". That was about it for me. I had actually written my resignation letter the day before and was ready to turn it in but felt compelled to complete my project reconciling the books and stock for them and then turn in my resignation letter with a clean slate. That should happen the second week of July. The letter is written and waiting. I had been thinking to resign anyway since my life is way too full and I really need more time for my personal life and family. After evaluating my many activities, I decided to give up my position on the Board of the USC Bay Area Alumni and to resign my position at the startup. After finally making those decisions, I breathed a big sigh of relief.

What else happened this week? Tuesday was actually fairly good. I went to my painting class and finished my portrait of the sealions. It came out very well. Lots of emotion and very cute.

I have been trying to get my gate replaced but having trouble having the companies come out to give me an estimate. One guy was very rude to me and didn't want to do the job because I have dogs (even with me home). He said that he would come out on Tuesday but never showed. The other guy was very nice and said he would try to get out Thursday but he also never showed and I was really hoping to get the new gate on Monday while I was at home so that I could have the dogs in the house while it was being done. This means that I will have to be home and off another day from work when I finally do find someone to give me an estimate and get the work scheduled.

I ordered new contact lenses and, of course, they are also only open during regular working hours requiring me to take time off to pick them up. I tried online but they were just as expensive and you have to pay shipping. I was also not relishing the thought of my delicate Contacts sitting on my porch in the sun until I got home. I ordered from my Optometrists office (who wrote my prescription) and left work early yesterday to pick them up only to get there and find that they were the wrong Contacts. The receptionist blamed me (?!?) when she had my prescription sitting right there and I had told her I wanted the ones from my prescription (aargh!).

Then, today, I ran int the curb and scraped my magnesium rim on my car wheel - a big, long, crushing scrape........(aaargh).

Needless to say, I am glad the week is through and it is the weekend. Time for some good energy.

I have been paddling (get your minds out of the gutter please) with the dragon boat team every weekend which has been loads of fun. Mark your calendars because Aug 18-19, we are paddling in the American Cancer Society Paddle for Life Event in Foster City. If you would like to support our team and the American Cancer Society, you can make a check out to the American Cancer Society and give it to me. I will turn it in at the event. And, it should be a fun event, so, if you have time, bring the family or friends and come out to watch us paddle.

Tomorrow, I have my 30 year (count them) High School Reunion. I was hoping to have lost all of the 25 lbs by this time but guess I will have to settle for 5. Better than gaining 5 more.

Needless to say, I have not made any headway on my letting go project and my study is still quite full of papers needing shredding or filing. The desk is getting piled up with new "papers" needing going through and this despite the piles of junk mail, etc. that never make it to the study and go right to the recycling bin. I am so wanting to continue this project but have had no time.

Well, if you are still reading by this time, Congratulations! I am sure this was a real snooze but, heh, I am back, at least for now and here is my blog.......

Happy, Sunny Day!

Working, working

2007-05-17T12:07:00.000-07:00

Ok. I just took a look at the new twin pictures in their teepee and with their princess dresses and penguins. I feel so good and happy now. Thank goodness because I was starting to get a bit judgmental about the guy sitting next to me on my new project. He was eating a salad with tons of lettuce and dressing and nothing healthy and chewing it like cud...........ugh. Oops! There I go getting judgmental again. Better go have another look at those twin pictures...

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Okay. I'm back. Anyway, back to the job. Yes, I am on a new assignment. Started on Tuesday. Still close to home - yeah! 10 minutes to work in the morning. For that, I am GRATEFUL! The assignment is pretty interesting and certainly keeping me busy. I will be doing overtime on this job so good thing that I got as much done at home as I did (Although I am still not finished). At least I get paid for the overtime so later I can take a nice vacation, buy that plasma TV I have been wanting, put a patio out back, new carpeting or any of the other million things that I have on my list but can't afford.

The sun is back and for that I am also GRATEFUL! Had a great spa retreat at the Four Seasons Hotel last weekend. Yoga on Fri night followed by a reception with wine and cheese in the Presidential Suite. A little drink in the bar and then off to bed on the luxurious king size bed in my hotel room with the great view of San Francisco Bay. The next morning was another yoga session followed by continental breakfast, one hour massage and then off to the pool and jacuzzi for hours of sunshine and relaxation. Needless to say, I got home Sat eve rested, tanned and exercised. Yahoo! For that I am GRATEFUL!

Life feels so good right now. Just need to hook up with Mr. Right and everything will be perfect.

Back to work.........

LaLaLa....again

2007-05-09T15:47:00.000-07:00

Here I sit yet once again. Time passes so much more slowly when you are not busy. Even worse, I am sitting here thinking of all of the things that I need to be doing at home - gardening, shredding, walking the dogs, trading stock, painting, laundry, cleaning, planning vacations and on and on - but, unfortunately, none of those things pay me. So here I sit. I have caught up on all of my emails, closed the books for ATW and set up accounts and done research for ATW.

I even sent an email to that nice guy at the bar the other night that bought me drinks. What an unexpected surprise. I can't recall that ever happening before for no reason. No strings attached and all that. Didn't even tell me he was paying. I only found out when the bill came for me and my girlfriend (she met me there later) and there were no drinks on it. She said that she thought she heard him say that he would pay for them. Anyway, WHAT A PLEASURE!

I did a little on-line shopping for a wrought iron gate - not much success. Can't say that I am much of an on-line shopper. After all, it is just another way to spend money.

So I sit. Another hour more. Aargh. Wish I could magically transport home and do some of the stuff that needs doing there. At least, I am getting paid. Can't complain about that. Work just makes the time go by faster.

Oh well, wishing for a more interesting blog..............

The Sun is Back

2007-05-07T11:26:00.000-07:00

After my wonderful sunny trip to LA, the weather once again turned cold and I thought that maybe we were entering a second winter. The rain was nice and oh so needed but the cold was not. Well, just in time for the weekend, my friend, the Sun, decided to come back and with what vengeance. Not just a slight warmth but a beautiful, sunny weekend.

I took advantage of the opportunity to once again fill my leaf bin since tomorrow is recycling day. Off came all of the dead roses in the front flowerbed. Everything trimmed down and ready for a new bloom. The hedge trimmers came out and I gave the boxwood a nice haircut. Cut back the iceplant around the lemon and mowed the lawn. All of that just packed the bin full. I also trimmed off all of the rogue growth from my now defunct Magnolia in the back but that is awaiting next week's bin since I am overloaded. The rose in the front and all of the roses in the back, along with the weeds will have to await the next round. It was all hard work but the results are well worth it. And, the dogs sure enjoyed laying out on the front lawn and watching the world go by as I worked. A good day was had by all!

Sunday was perfect weather for a birthday party and were the twins ever ready for it. They were so excited about turning 3. Susan made, not one, but two beautiful cakes. What an artist! The twins and their friends had a great time at the Curious George themed party - Monkeys, monkeys everywhere and really enjoyed the barbecue and cake. They really loved their Minnie Mouse shoes and looked so regal walking around in their princess dresses (even while going down the slide!). What a wonderful day. What a wonderful weekend.

And today, it is back to work with that darn See's candy box again. Will someone please eat it and put me out of my misery.........

Y-Me

2007-05-07T11:21:00.000-07:00

Its funny how things come back sometimes. I was checking my United frequent flyer account and saw that they are a sponsor for Y-Me. It reminded me of the following story from the beginning of my cancer journey.

When I received the call from my doctor telling me I had cancer, I couldn't sleep at all so I got up and went to the internet (It was too late tocall anyone). In frustration, I typed
WHY ME?
into Yahoo search and, to my surprise, Y-Me came up. What a great idea and name. I didn't know where to go but my frustration and their brilliant thinking for a name took me to just where I needed to be. Who would have thought? I wonder how many other women have done the same thing.

I spent the rest of the night on their site, reading their introductory pamphlet and support section for family members. As time went on, other resources became more helpful for me but, in the beginning, Y-Me was a great resource. It got me through that first devastating night. For that I am grateful.

still here.....

2007-05-04T14:33:00.000-07:00

2 more hours to go. I have managed to get by with only 2 chocolates so far. curse you Mary See for making such good treats.

a few folks have wandered back in and are actually working. leave it to the finance group to keep plugging away. all of the upper levels are either holed up in a room talking, walking around trying to calm the troops or have gone home. what was an active, chat-filled atmosphere has turned into a quiet tomb as everyone waits out the day.

1 hour 55 minutes more........

Just me and a box of See's chocolates

2007-05-04T12:31:00.000-07:00

Everyone is gone now, leaving me here alone with a box of See's chocolates. And I still have 4 more hours to go. What torture. Can I hold out? Or will I consume the whole box in my boredom? Help!!!!!

LaLaLa.....

2007-05-04T11:23:00.000-07:00

Here I sit. The life of a consultant. You never know what is coming next.

I am on this project at a bank. The last couple of weeks have brought about a lot of scurrying, whispering behind closed doors and general secretivity. I was let in on just enough to know that I couldn't say anything and that my projects were on hold because of impending "events".

Today the "events" occurred. The bank announced to the press its acquisition/merger with another bank. If you read the news, you will know just who the two banks are that I am talking about. Needless to say, after the announcement this morning, no one is getting anything done. There is lots of discussion, speculation and probably searching of the web for more information and/or jobs. The last thing on anyone's mind is work and many folks are going home. Me, however, I am paid by the hour and must put in my 8 hours so, here I sit, making up chores by the minute since all of my projects are still on hold and will be probably through the end of my tenure here.

La, la, la.............

Weekends are made for fun

2007-05-01T10:36:00.000-07:00

Taking off 2 days of work and making a 4-day weekend of it was a great choice for me last weekend. I came back to work this morning and felt like I had been gone forever.

Friday morning dawned with a beautiful day. I threw on jeans and a top, packed my things into the car and was on my way by 9:30 - a little past my planned 8AM but oh well......... Stopped at Starbuck's for a Peppermint Mocha and an apple fritter and then, top down (the car, not me silly!) was off for my road trip to LA. It was a little cold in the beginning since temperatures had not yet climbed over 63 degrees but, by the time, I reached I5, the weather had warmed up a bit and I was cruising. Stopped for gas at around noon and, feeling I had had enough sun, I put the top back up for the rest of the trip. Good thing I did because, when I arrived in LA and took a look in the mirror, my nose and forehead were quite red!

Hit my friends place at 3:30 and we were off to look at some lofts which are the new hot craze in LA. The downtown has been cleaned up and re-done and is looking more like NY city every day. The lofts were the next logical step. $500k will buy you about 800 sq.ft. in a high rise building with concrete floors, kitchen appliances, a bathroom and one main living space. The ceilings are 12 - 14 feet high with huge windows and great views looking all the way out to the ocean. Ownership also comes with rights to the buildings' roof top pools, gyms, party areas and sun decks. One building even came with its own dog run. For about $2.5MM, you can get a 4-level 2,500 sq.ft. loft in the same building. It was quite interesting to go around and look at all of the loft spaces and the historical buildings. Probably a good investment if you can afford it.

Next up was dinner with friends. Awesomely delicious accompanied by a nice Pinot Noir. Good company, good food, good wine.

Then, off to Pasadena for some more wine and a nice soft bed.

Saturday was another beautiful day. I arose early to take care of some business in the morning. Stopped by Mission San Gabriel for a walk in the cemetery, gardens and old mission. A baptism was taking place in the original mission church while a while a wedding was taking place in the newer mission church. The wedding was a huge ethnic affair. The brides beautiful white dress was "accessorized" with thick aqua blue cloth laced, bondage-like, across the bodice. It did not look delicate at all. Tacky was more of the word that came to mind. I soon saw the reason for the blue in the bridal dress when the bridesmaids came out in their bright, aqua blue dresses which matched the lacing. Apparently all of this was a colorful feast for the eyes to the guests since all of them appeared to be happy and having a wonderful time.

After the mission, I met up with my friend to go to Arcadia High School and watch the dress rehearsal of the Orchesis dance troupe which is made up of students from Arcadia High School. The choreography, dance and presentation were all amazing. I have never seen anything like that in a public high school. Apparently, many of the performers were slated to go on to professional careers after high school.

Then, we went off to look at a couple of more traditional properties - houses - since my friends are looking to move. The first one was about 1,700 sq ft on a huge lot, all upgraded, good schools for about $600K. Sounds like a lot of money but when was the last time you could find something like that in the Bay Area that was not an hour drive away from your job and everything else.

After all of this "hard work", we were thirsty and decided to sit down for some wine and fresh guacamole and chips - yum. After the warm up, we set off for some wine tasting in Rancho Cucamonga and then Mexican food a little hole in the wall. Back at home, we topped it all off with some more wine before hitting the sack.

Up bright and early on Sunday to head off to Disneyland for its 8AM opening. The park was much more crowded than my last visit in December which lost some of the magic for me. Still, it wasn't too bad. We started off at Space Mountain which I hadn't been on in a very long time (20 years?). The special effects are pretty awesome and you really feel like you are in space at some points. The Matterhorn was, uncharacteristically, working so we hurried to get in line there before it might break down again. At the end of our ride, the attendant took our car off of the tracks , with us in it. We thought it had broken down but, apparently, there were too many cars on the ride and not enough slots for them. After about 5 minutes, they put our car back on and gave us another ride for the wait. So, we got to go on the Matterhorn two times in a row! That helped make up for all of the times it was broken down.

Next was Thunder Mountain railroad. There was almost no wait at all and we got right to the front quickly. We were thrilled. Just as we were ready for our turn, the ride broke down and we had to leave. :( We never did make it back to that one.

The rest of the day was followed with great, magical experiences and nice breaks to eat. We used the fast pass for California Soarin', California Screaming and Hollywood Hotel (A truly awesome and screamful ride. I am not sure if my heart is back in my chest yet!).

The fireworks that evening went on for about 1/2 hour as the announcer went through many of the major rides - space mountain, pirates, haunted mansion and more - playing the voices from the rides accompanied by fireworks. The fireworks were coming up from all over the park so that we were surrounded even though we were standing in Orleans place and not main street. It was pretty amazing. After the fireworks, the park cleared out and we headed to Pirates for another ride. Then, to the Haunted Mansion where we didn't even stand in line but walked right into the reception room. It was the same with Small World. How wonderful not to have lines.

At 11:00PM, we headed off to the exit, picked up our packages and headed to the cars. There were only about 4 cars left in the parking lot when I got there. Long and wonderful day - and we still didn't see and do everything!

Monday was my last day and had to throw a little work in - Insurance, ugh! Still, it was good to see my agent and talk with her. We visited for some time before my final destination of the weekend in Palos Verdes. The day was clear and beautiful, making for some wonderful views of the ocean as I drove to my friends house. We had a long, leisurely lunch and then back to her house for some lessons in curly hair treatment. She has had curly hair her entire life and was very helpful in sharing her hair products and treatment tips with me as I try to deal with my now, very curly hair - as opposed to only wavy/curly before.

By 5:30, I was on my way home. All would have gone well except that I was treated to a mysterious LA phenomenom. The 710, a not heavily used and usually pretty good freeway had a mysterious backup at Firestone Blvd. There was no accident and no reason for it. Just a mystery - not even rush hour traffic. The radio news reports were warning of it but it was too late since I was already there. It took one hour to go 4 miles and, at Firestone blvd, just as miraculously, all of the cars ahead of and around me took off and the 65 mph speed was resumed. This all made for a very long drive home and I did not arrive until 1AM. Had a great time and feel relaxed and vacationed.

Now back to work!

Sunshine on the way

2007-04-24T12:49:00.000-07:00

Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

Call me Harold Crick

2007-04-23T14:25:00.000-07:00

My life. Interesting to me. Others? Hmmm........ I guess it all depends on whether or not you enjoy watching everyman(woman?) live his(her?) life.

Today was my second six month follow-up with my Radiation Oncologist. This is the last of my follow-ups for this round. I will start another round in 4 months. Each round goes about 2 months in order for me to see all of my doctors. I have also thrown in Optometrist and Dentist with that group since I have to see them regularly as well.

All went well with the check-up and I continue to exhibit signs of being a healthy, cancer-free human being. The energy level is coming back although there are still days of fatigue that pop out of nowhere just when I am least expecting them.

Today is one of those days. I feel like a narcoleptic in action (or perhaps inaction). Working on Excel today, I actually dozed off in the middle of copying a formula down into a group of cells. I snapped out of it rather quickly but not before copying formula all over the spreadsheet and having to start over again. It is not necessarily that I feel tired but rather fatigued. For those of you that have not experienced it, the difference is difficult to explain. I guess feeling tired means that you feel it is temporary and you may get over it if you just rest or sleep. Feeling fatigued is with you from the moment you wake up and is attached to a lethargy, heaviness of the body and bones and general feeling like this will never go away and I will never be able to move at a pace faster than a snail under water. Anyway, the fatigue does indeed go away sometimes and these days, those times of non-fatigue are getting longer and longer - thank goodness. I do have to keep reminding myself that I am only 2 1/2 months past my last surgery and 5 1/2 months past my last Herceptin treatment - not a long time at all.

On other notes, life outside of cancer does go on. Friday eve, it was off to Bay Meadows for an evening of $1 admission, $1 hotdogs and $1 beer. The parking, unfortunately, was still $4. Altogether, the whole evening cost me $15 and that was even with buying my friend Diane popcorn, beer and hotdog, too since I arrived first and the lines were long. It was good fun and there was a band for some dancing. I can't honestly tell you which horses raced or how they did but they were sure beautiful and it was exciting watching them run.

Saturday dawned early with clouds and rain. I decided it was a good day to lounge in bed a little longer with the dogs and a magazine. Finally, I got up and went to pick up my new contact lenses and some groceries. About that time, the guy I had called to clean up the yard, called and decided he would come over to give me an estimate. Yes, for the first time in my life, I had someone else working on my yard besides myself. After 10 years, this year's freezes and this year's rain, the yard had finally gotten out of my control. I just didn't have the time, energy or leaf bin space to clean it up so called a guy to come in for a one-time clean-up. Best thing I could have done for that yard. He and his one-man crew got everything, except the weeds and rose bushes shaped up in just a little over 2 hours. I worked on the weeds and filled my whole leaf bin myself while he took away a truckload and the equivalent of 4 more leafbins in barrels tied to the top of the stack. The front yard cleanup will follow this week. Needless to say, after all of that, I was tired out Sat afternoon and decided to take a nice bath and read a book until bedtime.

On Sunday, it was so nice to once again see the sunshine. Hooray! I got up and headed off to my 8AM Yoga class. Afterword, feeling invigorated, I grabbed a Mint Mocha and headed off to Costco for grocery shopping. Can you believe that there was a big line just to get in on a Sunday morning? I thought there might be some kind of special going on but, NO, it was business as usual and just folks out shopping.

I really thought at this point I would be able to take a break and read the paper, watch a video but, when I got home, I realized that I needed to mow the lawn so I got the mower out and mowed the lawn. Then the pots on the way up the front walk caught my attention and I decided that they needed trimming and cleaning out. A couple of hours later, I finished filling the leaf bin and left the rest (all the big stuff) for the gardener to come in and clean out. Now, I thought, I will rest but then I remembered that it was Earth Day, and, in the spirit of my ongoing efforts to "let go" and clean out my house, I remembered that I had a computer monitor which the dog had chewed in his panic attack and a TV that had a blue screen where the picture should have been so I loaded them both in the car and drove off to WalMart where the ASL folks were waiting to receive them.

They were very nice and gave me a nice blue disk to plant in the ground that they told me would grow wild flowers. They also gave me a card that was worth $50 somewhere at some merchant on some thing - all unknown. I went home and looked it up but no details posted yet on the website.

I planted the blue disk in one of the pots I had cleaned out that morning. Now, I thought, I can take a break but discovered I only had 1/2 hour before it was time for my afternoon workout at the gym with the Paddle Past Cancer team. I sat for 1/2 hour and then headed off to the gym. My good intentions were thwarted by an accident on 101 that closed off all lanes of the freeway. Arriving at the gym 45 minutes late, I found that they had only just finished warmups and were starting the main part of the workout. 2 hours later we were finished and hungry. Chinese food sounded really good so we headed off for dinner. I finally got home late that evening and crashed. It was a good day but very busy. At the end, I was more happy and grateful than ever that I had had help with the gardening. Now, if I could just get a helping hand around the house for all of these chores that I am trying to catch up on.

Another recycling day comes on Tuesday and, once again, my bins are full. Yeah! Some day, I will finish with all of the letting go and my recycling will return to a normal level (except the leaf bin of course) but that day is not in sight yet.

It does feel good to have an emptier house, emptier closets, etc. Everything feels so much lighter. Now if I could only get this extra 19 pounds off of me that found its way on after I started work again.

As Roseanne Roseanna Danna used to say, "Its always something"..........

Have a great day!

Stuff, stuff, stuff

2007-04-18T16:04:00.000-07:00

First of all, the most urgent order of business. When will the reign of Sanjaya end? Although his Besame Mucho last week was very impressive (although the sleazy looking goaty and hair made my skin crawl), he came back this week with his usual mediocre to unlistenableness. I think it is really time to say bye, bye. The entertainment factor for me is gone, gone, gone........

And, on to more serious stuff.....hmmmm.........Here I sit. I am very happy to be working. Projects are great and give me a chance to really focus undisturbed since no one knows who I am and therefore, I am not constantly interupted by phone calls. The only problem is that I finish too quickly. Then I look for more to do and go the one step further and finally, with nothing more, I sit and wait for the next project to come my way. I know there is lots to do but the person doling it out is too busy to do any doling. Oh woe. In the meantime, I have cleaned up all of my emails, made my charitable donations, caught up on my phone calls and planned my trip to LA. I am starting to run out of things that I can do outside of my house and have no small amount of guilt for sitting here doing other things while I am waiting and waiting and waiting. And now, I am catching up on my Blog. So, although this all sounds like a sob story, it really isn't. After all, how many folks get paid to clean up their own emails? Funny as it sounds though, I would rather be contributing something in return for the money they are putting into my bank account.

I guess that is about all I have to say. Wow! How boring. Oh well, sometimes boring is good. No disasters happening. Will have to post some new painting photos soon. Have to get the film developed first.

The Contact Lenses are doing fine.

Letting Go: The continuing saga

2007-04-15T19:00:00.000-07:00

Slowly, slowly, I am getting through this 20 years of storage and filing in my study. For every step forward, it feels like there is one back as the piles tend to multiply and gather on their own. Yesterday was a rainy day and a good day to stay in and file. Unusually, I found myself with a large block of free time. 8 hours later, my desk was once again cleaned off and caught up. I made it through the latest bag of filing which meant I was living primarily in 2006-7.

This morning, I went off to yoga. The class got me energized and ready to go again. I even did a handstand (with the help of the teacher) for only the second time since I hit my 30's. It was exhilirating. However, as I tried by myself before hand, I came down wrong on my right foot and jammed my ankle - the first yoga injury I had ever had. It felt okay and I finished out the class. However, after 5 hours of filing at home, it turned very red and swelled up causing a great deal of pain and difficulty in walking. I downed a Vicodin, ate some dinner and got off my foot for a little while before heading back in to file for another couple of hours.

So, today, I was living in the mid to late 90's and early 2000's as I once again delved back into the historic filing. It is very tedious work, even with all of the mail sorted by credit card company, insurance, medical, etc. Every envelope must be opened, the bill or other item removed and either put into a pile for filing or shredded. One whole stack of insurance mail actually turned out to be all of the old insurance bills for my beloved Capri which was crushed last year. Needless to say, I didn't need them and they were shredded but only after I had to open every single envelope to see if they were the bills for the Capri. All of that hard work took me only through half of a box of filing and one bag. There are still 9 more boxes to go so you can see what a daunting task this is. However, I must say that I have already accomplished a good deal although I don't know what it would add up to in numbers of boxes.

The upside of all of this is that the more I get my house cleaned up and emptied out, the lighter and less burdened I feel. It is a wonderful feeling. Whenever, my emotions start to get the best of me and I want to hand on to something, I think to myself, "What if I died tomorrow, would anyone else care about this or would it just be a hassle for my family to have to look through and figure out if it is important or not?" The answer is that it really isn't important and is just an emotional tie that must be cut. And so it goes.................... My second job - 8 hours/day is about all I can take of it and that is pushing it.

Well, the recycling bin is once again full and won't be emptied for another week so I have a reprieve for the week. But never fear, the leaf bin is empty so it will be out to the yard to fill that up during this week and next weekend...............

Wow, this is the most boring blog but it does me good to get it off of my chest and when I go back and read it I feel as if I have actually accomplished something. Yahoo!!!

What you doing?

2007-04-12T15:06:00.000-07:00

This is the question so often asked by my nieces these days. I am not even sure if they care as much about the answer as they do asking the question. :) Anyway, it is fun.

So, what am I doing? Still working. Still on 8 hour days - amazing. The trash man finally came yesterday and emptied the recycling bins so now I am ready to fill them up again. However, in the interim of "waiting" for him to come, I have managed to fill my time with other things to do. Lots of things!

I went to see Smokey Joe's cafe and suffice it to say was underwhelmed. Snarfdog says it so well on her blog that I will let you read the comments there. It is right over to your right. Just click on thoughts from a delirious mind.

I am also still pre-occupied with many doctors appts. Twice at the Optometrist since I am being fitted for the contacts I am now wearing. It is required that one try various different strengths to see which works best for them. I can't honestly tell between a 1.25, 1.50 and 1.75 and the clarity seems to depend more on the time of day for me or how dehydrated I am or various other factors which do not seem to have much to do with the strength of the lenses. Anyway, that seems to be sorting itself out.

I also have to get my Port flushed every 4 - 6 weeks and that comes up more often than you would think!

This month also brings my regular 6-month dental check-up and my 6-month follow-up with my Radiation Oncologist. Seriously, I wonder how folks manage to work. All these appointments just don't conveniently fit into my lunch hour.

What else? Time for my car's 6-month check-up and had one day bringing that in.

Besides all of that, I do have my commitments to ATW, USC Leadership and FieldDay. And, it is the time of year for recognition luncheons for CBHP and Palo Alto Animal Services. I keep thinking that I need to drop one of these volunteer things but can never decide which. And I enjoy them all.

And......it was tax month so I had to put them together, see my tax man and then pick them up. Just a few more minutes added to a busy schedule.

Saturdays bring workouts for Dragon Boat - although I have been so busy that I haven't made a one yet and am looking forward to my first one this Saturday - especially since our first race is May 12. Sunday morning is yoga day.

And, I do love to see my family and friends so there are a few lunches and dinners scheduled in there.

So, I ask you, "when does one have time to do yard work and shred papers in the study, not to mention vaccuming, dishes, dusting and bathrooms?"

Oh yeah.......there is the dating thing. Not that I have had time for it lately. Maybe now that taxes are over, I can use that slot for dating if I ever find anyone to date......haha. eHarmony continues to be disappointing and I have only gotten one date (who infamously moved to Dallas). Two on the line now so will see how that goes. My photo doesn't show until about the 3rd step of the process. Many of the guys close the match at the first step because they can't see my photo then. Oh well, that is much too shallow for me. Some of them that make it to the third step and then see the photo, close the match with some flimsy excuse. Still shallow and a little hurtful because they didn't like my photo- hmmmm....... So far, only 3 have made it beyond that point. So much for eHarmony's questionnaires, careful matching, etc., etc.

And, in my real life, outside of the e-Dating world, I don't know of any single men at all - except for my nieces friends and forgive me for not being interested in 21 year olds. So what is a girl to do?

Haven't said much about the job but it continues to go well. I am on an interesting assignment and working on some good projects. It is nice to be appreciated and to get paid for it! Yeah!

Back to work.........What you doing?

Just a short break

2007-04-03T10:36:00.000-07:00

Just a short break from work to make a little post to keep up in my blogger world.

Since the Amazon excitement, I have not sold another book yet. Guess I have to wait another 54 days. sigh........ The money is now being deposited in my checking acount. How exciting. Well it was for me anyway!

Working and actually making a living wage at something I love doing has added a little spark of energy, that I didn't know I had, to my life. The same thing happens when I manage to get a date with a great guy. I guess, all in all, that a little change now and then is good.

Trying to take advantage of the energy while I have it, I used one of my days off last week to mow the lawn and clip back a lot of the overgrown plants in the front yard. This left the leaf bin full and me very tired - exhausted. I did manage a walk with the dogs after that. Of course, they were thrilled. All of this may not sound like much but you have probably not seen my yard. My hard work barely made a dent. The frost and rains of this winter either killed a plant or caused it to grow like wildfire. Either way, it makes for a lot of cleanup work.

Having filled the leaf bin and being forced to wait the pre-requisite 2 weeks (yes, the recycling is only picked up once every two weeks in this town), I moved on to filling the paper bin. Back to my study and my letting go project which is getting much easier as I go along. It is tough to put aside the emotional attachments to some items but the more I do it, the better I get at it. I was a shredding queen on Sunday and filled that bin right up. Like my yard though, this barely made a dent and there is much more to do. The good thing is that my desk got cleaned off and dusted for probably the first time in 4 years. There was always too much paperwork there before.

And the dogs are getting walked again - good for them and for me.

Made my yearly visit to the eye doctor and found that they now have come out with new progressive contacts. I am trying them out. At first, everything was quite blurry and I had to really look down my nose to read anything. This made me feel like I was walking around with my eyes closed all of the time. It has taken a number of days but the blurriness is finally going away and I seem to be managing to read things with my eyes actually open. This is all nice and good although I still forget and reach for my glasses sometimes.

And what about the dating, you ask? Wish I had as much good news there as everywhere else but, alas, nothing new on that front. I know that he is looking for me out there somewhere. Come out, come out wherever you are...........

Amazon Sale!

2007-03-27T20:28:00.000-07:00

Woohoo! After 54 days, I finally sold one of my books on Amazon. My first on-line sale of any type, anywhere. It was a $14 paperback that I sold for $19 (Collector's item). After shipping and Amazon's commission, I ended up with $11.78 for a book that Bookbuyers in Mountain View wouldn't even give me store credit for. Needless to say, I am happy. I know it is not much mone but exciting none-the-less. I really didn't expect any of the 33 books I listed to sell so this was a surprise.

Here I am

2007-03-27T00:31:00.000-07:00

Well. I know it has been awhile. 18 days. I have been busy. The 4 day gig lasted until last Friday (23rd). It was fun and a nice company. And they fed me. No grocery shopping for 3 weeks except for milk and dog food. Some days were relatively short (7 hours) and others were very long (13 hours) but I got paid for every hour. Yeah!

This morning, I signed all the paperwork with RGB, my new company. I am now officially an Associate and Consultant of Finance with them. My first assignment starts on Wednesday. I couldn't believe the stack of paperwork I had to sign today. It is really amazing how many times the government needs your signature just for a company to give you a paycheck. I also walked away with a bag of the typical goodies - pens, pencils, coaster, travel mug, post-its - and will soon have my own (or rather the company's with my name on them) business cards. I am pretty excited, needless to say and already making priority lists of the things I haven't been able to buy over the last two years. The first thing was clothes for work. I managed to get a pair of pants, 2 tops and a jacket. That now gives me 3 pairs of non-jeans pants. It will get me started anyway but I will probably need more. I would love to just wear jeans but do need to look a bit more "business" with the clients at least for the first couple of days.

Also on the list were the trunk shocks for my car. Since it had to go in for an intermediate servicing today, I had the shop put them in. It will be a relief (not to mention much safer) not having the trunk fall on me every time I try to put in or take out groceries, yoga gear, gardening stuff, etc. This had been put off for about 6 months since I didn't have the money to do it. And I have had a few very painful bumps on the head, arms, back. That trunk lid is HEAVY! My hula hoop was in the trunk when I took my car in and the mechanics had a good time trying it out.

The CBHP (Community Breast Health Project) fashion show took place on St. Patrick's Day Saturday. I modeled Tommy Bahama and some other outfit that I don't know the name of. Will post some photos later. There were 30 of us models and we had a great time. Apparently the audience loved it, too as the screaming was so loud that we could barely hear the music. The show was a benefit to raise money for CBHP which provides so many of the needed services for women diagnosed with breast cancer. I attended their open houses where I was able to talk with Doctors in different specialties and get advice as I went through my treatments and procedures. I also attended their young women's support group and used the Buddy program to find my plastic surgeon. There are many other useful services that I didn't use. I am now a Buddy in the program so that I can help other women.

The soul mate search is still on and not progressing very well. eHarmony is going much slower than expected and has not provided the advertised "match". The first and only guy I have dated from there so far moved to Texas after our first date - no, not because of me :) ...... or was it? hmmmmm.........

Finished my taxes today and gave them over to my accountant. Thank goodness he takes care of them. They give me a headache just to think about. Glad they are off my plate.

And........TIVO has now partnered with Amazon so that you can download movies directly from Amazon for $3.99. They can sit on your TIVO for a month unless you press the play button in which case you have 24 hours to view them. It sure beats going to the video store or waiting on Netflix. I haven't tried it yet but will when I get a little breather.

I guess this all means that I am officiially past my two year sojourn into BC and now resuming what is called "normal" life. I will miss all of the time I have had to volunteer for worthwhile causes, spend days with my family and friends, take mid-day walks with the dogs, go to yoga and painting classses and all of the other things that kept my days so full and busy that I never managed to finish the filing in my study, painting of my house, cleaning of the garage or the yard. I plan to keep the yoga, dog walks, painting and family and friend time but will have to work it into evenings and weekends like other folks do. The volunteer activities will have to be cut down although there are a few I will keep. It is really difficult to fit a full time job into my busy schedule. :)

Nice sunny weather.....

2007-03-09T08:22:00.000-08:00

and still working. Project finished up yesterday but on my way home, I got a call that the CFO decided he had something more to do so I am going back in this morning. WooHoo. That is me cheering.

My life continues to be busy with my other activities and with this darn cold. I know that mostly everyone has the flu and thankful that I escaped that. However, the cold, though not as bad, has certainly seemed to hang on.

Looking forward to some good wine tasting and hanging out with friends this weekend. Hey, soulmate, if you are looking for me, I will be at Diane's house. :)

Still working

2007-03-07T15:40:00.000-08:00

The 4 day gig has now turned to 5. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Another day, another dollar as they say. Today was a short day and I finished at 3:00 but they asked me to come back again tomorrow. Of course, I said okay.

On another note, I have it from one of my readers that Sears on San Antonio Road has renewed their lease for another 3 years and is no longer going out of business. Thus, those hired under the "still hiring" sign will most likely have jobs for a while longer. Strange........

As for my search for a soulmate. Where are you? I know you are out there. Somewhere in the Bay Area. Within 10 miles of my home. Come out of hiding please. Don't you feel that tug at your heart telling you that I am here?

Me working

2007-03-01T10:06:00.000-08:00

Uhuh. Yep. Me Working. That's me. Only a 4-day consulting gig but in my chosen field (translate as A REAL JOB) and making $$ none-the-less. Let's hope this bodes well for the future. Me Working. Me Working. YEAH!

Last day of Feb

2007-02-28T14:29:00.000-08:00

Oh my dearest bloggy-wog, sweet thing that you are,

Job searching is making me a bit kooky. I got turned down for the last one after 3 rounds of interviews. It seems that they took the other candidate because he was less experienced and cheaper. For the last two days, I have been surfing the internet, putting in resumes and talking to folks - mostly recruiters, on the phone. I know that the perfect job is out there for me. Just need some help and good wishes to find it. Thank you.

The soul mate front isn't looking too good either. After one seemingly good date, he got the flu. Although we have been in touch, it is not currently looking like there is a second date on the horizon. I need some help and good wishes on that one, too. Thank you.

Aside from what it may sound like, I am very up and happy at the moment. Just trying to be patient going through both processes.

Doggies are doing fine. Took Smokey for his yearly check-up today. Expensive. His Vet is really cool though and oh so cute. Not taking any new clients but will continue to take care of his current ones. A 7:00 AM appointment and it took me one month to get. Whew! Both dogs do love him and did I say he was cute?

What else is happening? Ummm..... All healed up from surgery. 2 months until the next visit where any remaining touch up will be done and I get my nipple. Tattoos - woohoooo!

Still working on "letting go" of my junk in the study. Haven't sold any (no not a one) of my books on Amazon but they are off of the shelf and the non-book paper has gone to the recycling bin. The book shelf is full but with new books and books that had been inhabiting other locales in the house. Still tons of filing to be done although I can see the top of my desk and parts of the floor now.

Finished another painting last night that caused my teacher to say, "Wow!" for the first time. She really liked it. I like it, too.

After sleeping through, er, watching the Academy Awards, I discovered that I hadn't seen most of the movies nominated and/or chosen. Took a break from the job search and went to the video store to rent Flags of Our Fathers, Babel and The Departed. Flags of Our Fathers was pretty good although I would say no where near as good as its companion piece, Letters From Iwo Jima. It was interesting though to see how, even in the days before mass televesion and the internet, facts were still extremely manipulated by the government with the help of the press. I am now watching Babel. Only got about 1/2 way through it yesterday between the job search stuff but, so far, it is pretty good.

Books - Have joined the mass population in reading The Secret which was recently featured on Oprah although it has been around a while. It is all about the Law of Attraction and that is as far as I have gotten.

Well back to the job search. As I mentioned before, any help is greatly appreciated.

Cheers and Happy Day!

Well, well, well

2007-02-23T17:47:00.000-08:00

Dearest blog,

It is now exactly 2 weeks since my last posting and I know that you have really been missing me. You have, haven't you? Just say yes. :)

So, what has been happening? Well, way too much, as usual. The last I left you, I had just had surgery and gone through 2 days of interviewing for a job. The surgery and recovery went well. Job search - not so well. The Friday interview did not result in a callback and, even worse, the recruiter never answered the phone or returned my calls or emails. It is a small courtesy to send an email saying that they decided to go another direction, select another candidate or whatever excuse. Just nice to close the loop.

The Thursday interview resulted in two more rounds of interviews last week. All looked good and they checked my references. They told me that I was in the top two candidates. And then......... Well, it seems that they also fell off the face of the earth. I have called the recruiter numerous times and she has not answered, nor returned emails or phone messages. It is so frustrating. Why can't they just save us all time and drop a line saying they are not interested.

Sooooo......back to the drawing board.

In the meantime, on the doctors front, I was due for my first 4 month follow-up with my oncologist after finishing Herceptin. That went well. I had my monthly port flush. That went well. I was also due for my 6 month follow-up with my surgeon. That is more complicated and involves mammograms, ultrasounds, etc. I went through the mammogram - nothing. breasts too dense, etc. I went through the first ultrasound - little shadow. I got called back and went through a second ultrasound in the same day - little shadow. I met with my surgeon. She is discussing with the radiologist what the next step should be - ultrasound guided biopsy or MRI. I am waiting. Not worrying. Just waiting and so busy with job, etc. that I am not noticing the time passing.

And, on the dating front. I finally gave up on Match.com and cancelled my subscription. Buying into the commercials and some other couples I had talked to, I signed on to eHarmony in the hopes of finding my soul mate. It started off with a bang and has since slowed down a bit. I am just about to go on my first eHarmony date so will see how that goes. So far, so good.

And I guess, dear Blog, that is about it for now. Probably lots more to say but my poor old fingers aren't up to it tonight. I will try to speak with you more in the near future.

In the Home Stretch

2007-02-09T11:37:00.000-08:00

I had another surgery this week on Tuesday. With any luck, this should be my final surgery. Fingers Crossed. I had a great anesthesiologist, who, after having a nice chat with me, decided to break the normal protocol and take me under with only propofol and no inhaled gases (Fluorine derivatives). I am not an expert and don't know if it really makes a difference, but the PhD, that I worked with from Stanford who had run tests on me after chemo and my surgeries which showed decreased mental function, had recommended against it. There is also a body of literature which recommends against it. I can only speak from personal experience that I would like to keep any limited mental capacity I may have so any precautions that can be taken, I would like to take. The anesthesiologist (K.S.) agreed and said the reason that propofol isn't used exclusively more often is that it is more expensive than the very cheap gas. He took me under with only Propofol. My first words, after 1 hr. 15 min of surgery, in the recovery room were, "Were you able to use the Propofol?" There had been some question and he was going to watch my reactions while under but all went okay. Thanks to the powers that be for Anesthesiologists and Doctors that are willing to step outside of the box.

Back to the surgery. I had various trimmings and adjustments to revise the reconstruction that was done in June. Nothing major but requiring general anesthesia none-the-less. The edges of my abdominal scar were lipoed so that they would lay down flatter and not look like rabbit ears. A little bumpy place was removed under my arm that rubbed and caused pain during yoga. The edges were rounded and smoothed. All went well. Stitches all around in about 4 places.

I was told that I couldn't shower for 48 hours - two days. Oh no, I told the recovery room nurse. That can't be. I have an interview on Thursday morning and have to shower to go to that. The nurse re-evaluated and said that I could shower Thursday morning.

They gave me two shots of morphine and I was good to go home. Starving, of course and had to go to Olive Garden for dinner first before going home and passing out. Wednesday brought no pain and therefore no need for pain killers. I prepared for my interview, talked to friends, filled out the job application.

On Thursday, I was up at 6:30 to get prepared for the 9:00AM interview. I gingerly removed the bandages covering the stitches and noted some bleeding. I hopped in the warm shower which felt so good. Came out. More bleeding. Oh goodness, I thought. It probably was too soon to remove the bandages but the deed was done. I walked around for a while trying to air dry the stitches and stem the bleeding. Finally got dressed and headed off to my interview.

The interview was 4 hours long and went well. I had no pain (physical anyway) and only worried about bleeding through my clothes. Came home feeling pretty energized, not exhausted as I thought. Proceeded to fill out the job app for my next interview which is today (Friday). That seems to be the protocol now. Get the interview and then fill out the company app with all the same stuff that is on your resume before going to the interview. They claim that the job apps only take 20 - 30 min to fill out but each has taken me over 1 hour. Maybe it is that decreased Mental acuity? HaHa.

Rested the rest of the afternoon. My interview today is not until the afternoon. I am ready but still have one more hour before leaving. Ugh. Want to finish and move on to the weekend already. The first company called me this morning and asked me to come back for final rounds next week. Good news. Just hope today goes equally well.

So that is my story of how to have surgery and look for a job in the same week. Crazy. But so is life. I am supposed to be recuperating and not going anywhere or doing anything for 5 - 7 days and then taking things easy for the next few weeks but when a good opportunity comes up, you have to go for it (with jobs, that is). Believe me, if it seems damage will be done, I will put my health first. So far, so good however. Still, it will be really nice to reach the weekend and rest. Whew!........

Selling 30 year old school books

2007-02-03T21:57:00.000-08:00

Well, the trip to BookBuyer's didn't turn out as well as I'd hoped. Out of 3 boxes of books, they took only about 17 books - maybe 1/2 box. I got only $2.50 cash out of it and a $17.00 store credit - just about enough to buy one book in their store. What a trade off. Since I worked all day on the book shelf and forgot to defrost the meat for dinner, I decided to drop by McDonald's - something I haven't done in a very long time -for a cheese burger and french fries. That cost $2.98 so the cash from the book sales didn't even cover the cost of a small Micky D's meal. hmmmmmmm.....sighh.........

The interesting thing is that Wicked was the most popular book. They gave me 40% on that one. They took a couple of the Steven King's and older Anne Rice's but left most of them behind for me to take home. They did take the 2 Hemingway books and "Blue Collar Marriage" - all from my 1976 Freshman college English and Sociology classes. Go figure - 30 year old books. I just threw them in at the last minute because I didn't know what else to do with them and those are the ones that they took.

So now I still have 3 boxes of books to get rid of. Will probably explore selling them on Amazon or on eBay. Not looking forward to it but, if it pays, I'll try it.

Letting Go: The Return of the Bookshelf

2007-02-03T17:39:00.000-08:00

What is it that possesses some of us to hang on to our past? To keep material memoires of that past time that we never look at and probably never will again? If you are not one of these people, then you are lucky. If you are, you will know exactly what I mean.

From what the headers tell me, this is my third letting go blog. I wish I could say that is my last but, alas, my growth has only just begun. I am still working on the study and still have not finished the filing. My attention last night was once more drawn to the full wall bookshelf that I had once thought would solve all of my problems with where to put the numerous books I have accumulated over the years. The shelf was filled to overflowing years ago and hasn't been touched since. There are still books all over the rest of my house so it was time to take a new look at this shelf and see just what was on it.

The first thing to go was my whole collection of Stephen King books. I think that every book he had written was housed there and took up about one full length of shelf. As much as I enjoyed them, I was probably not going to read those books again. At least, no where as far in the future as I can currently see. I wanted to keep The Stand which is my favorite and I will probably read again but it was not there. I had probably loaned it to someone and it wasn't returned.

Next, went all of the Anne Rice books and the Patricia Cornwell books. A few other odd books were added in and the total came to 3 boxes which I carted off to Book Buyers and will learn the fate of at 9:20PM tonight. Will they give me cash (my sincere hope), a store credit or the books back (lets hope not).

That task being completed, I started attacking the assorted other items of reading material on the shelfs. Out went my class notes from my MBA program (completed 1988), my study notes from completing my CFA (1994) and the various updates on financial standards that I have received since then but with the changes to the accounting standards in the last couple of years are no longer valid. That cleaned out one whole side of the shelf.

The shelves on the other side of the room yielded Chemistry and Biology books from 1976-80. Things have changed a lot since them. I couldn't sell those books but not wanting to throw books away, I put them in a box in the garage and hope to find some place that may be interested in them (a stock department for television or movies, perhaps?) If anyone has any ideas, I would love to hear them.

And, believe it or not, the shelf is still full even after all of that removal. However, the room does feel a little lighter and I feel as if a heavy burden I didn't even know I was carrying around has been lifted. Some day, I hope this room can become a conducive place to read, paint and work at my computer and desk. As of now, it is still more of a storage room.

Well, back to the bookshelf.

Free Association for the Masses

2007-01-24T11:10:00.000-08:00

Well, in between looking for a job, helping out at my various volunteer places and trying to stay warm (will the temp ever rise above 50 degrees again?), I have been reading some fairly interesting books. I used to read mainly (only?) fiction - Harry Potter, Stephen King, Anne Rice, C.S. Lewis - wanted to escape and relax the mind. Lately, however, I have found myself reading non-fiction. I guess it all started with my study and search for effective B.C. treatments but now has moved on to the brain. I want to do as much as possible to recover the capabilities of memory and mental function that were lost due to the chemo and anesthesia my brain suffered through over the last couple of years.

The latest book I am reading is called Making a Good Brain Great by Dr. Daniel Amen, a clinical neuroscientist and brain imaging expert. He has done imaging of the brain and how its over or under function in specific areas affect our personalities, lifestyles, actions, activities. It is fascinating - to me at least - and even more so as I find that the imaging and treatment techniques tie into the Quantum Physics from What The Bleep? and the philosophy behind energy healing and retraining the mind. There may be hope for man/womankind after all. And for me. HaHa.

Really didn't mean for this entry to get so heavy.......

On another topic, there is now a blog for our Dragon Boat Racing Team - Paddle Past Cancer. I will try to put a link on this page. If you go to the blog, you can see the video of our race in San Francisco last September. Our boat is the one with the "caterpillar effect" of the oars. Hopefully, by our next race, we will do better at paddling together. Anyway, it was lots of fun and I am looking forward to future races.

In the meantime, I am supposed to find a new sport to try out as part of the Brain building. Don't have to take it up. Just try it out. Any suggestions?

Survivor

2007-01-18T18:41:00.000-08:00

Yes. As most or all of you know, I am a survivor (2 years on March 15). Now, I am trying to become a Survivor. The kind that wins a million dollars. I went down to Monterey today to go to the casting call for the show. Wasn't a total zoo as I expected. Got right in and sat relaxed at a table until I was called about 1 hr. later. Pretty exciting.

On other news (guys, you might want to stop reading here), I had my own little miracle last week. After having my hormones tested last year and being told that my Estrogen, Progesterone and Cortisol didn't even show up as a blip on the scale and that my FSH (Follicular Stimulation Hormone) was a 60 which is the equivalent of a 70 year old, very post-menopausal woman, I was told to more or less give up on my body recovering from the chemo induced menopause that it was in. This caused me major concern since the bones and mind do much better the longer your body is hormone producing and following its natural path to old age. My bones were tested and did indeed show a 14% deterioration from my pre-chemo density which was already not that great. A woman of 45 has an 80% of going post-menopausal with chemotherapy. I fell into the 80% category and was told to give up hope of reversing the effect.

As you probably know, I am not one to give up. I read up on alternatives for balancing the hormones and re-establishing normal body functions. I was all set to try to find a doctor who did saliva testing and hormone balancing when I was introduced to the woman with the SCIOS machine. I understood the concept of working with the body's energy since I had been doing Reiki and Pranic Healing since my diagnosis with miraculous results. I spoke with my Reiki Master and asked her to do focused energy work on my ovaries. I also worked with the SCIOS machine on the same thing. 5 months and 3 SCIOS treatments and 2 treatments from my Reiki Master later, I got my period - a true miracle and attributable to these alternative therapies. I went to my gynecologist and she ultra-sounded and measured my uterus - declaring it normal. She ran a test of my FSH and it came back 18.8! Anything below 20 is considered pre-menopausal. She told me that I was not yet in menopause. So I went from post-menopausal with no hope to being pre-menopausal. Truly amazing. I am so thankful. This means that my bones and mind have a better chance to remain strong than they would have otherwise and that my body is taking one more step back towards normal after the ravages of the last 2 years.

And now, I am looking for the SURVIVOR miracle. Please get me on the program and let me win the million dollars!

Sears - Going Out of Business or Hiring?

2007-01-08T16:23:00.000-08:00

Driving by Sears on San Antonio road and saw a big sign saying Store Closing and Going Out of Business Sale. Well I didn't know that that Sears was going out of business.

Even more strange was the sign right next to it that said, "Sears - now hiring".

Happy New Year!

2007-01-01T08:28:00.000-08:00

2007. Coming in beautiful, sunny and bright. Very different from the rainy, stormy 2006. Just an observation. Is it good or bad? Who knows?

Good for the Rose Bowl players. Fight On Trojans!

Happy New Year everyone. May it be happy, healthy, prosperous and full of love for everyone.

Dear Blog,

2006-12-30T11:20:00.000-08:00

Dear Blog,

I know that I have neglected you horribly of late. You could call that pathetic or you could guess that I might actually have been having a life or you could choose neither and fill in the blank with your own thoughts......up to you....

So now we have reached Dec. 30th - the end of another year - where does time go? I had a wonderful Christmas (did get my Christmas cards written by the way). Spent the eve first at my friend, Jenny's, house where I met her wonderful family and friends, had some delicious eggnog and good conversation. Moved on to my sister's house for family, more good food, conversation and a game of pool. It was all wonderful. Gave the kids their gifts and they seemed to enjoy them.

Christmas day, I overslept (really needed it) and then headed over to my sister, Susan's, for the Christmas extravaganza that comes with having young children. It was so much fun watching them open all of their gifts and took some time. I even got a couple - a Sudoku electronic game to feed my addiction and a little cell phone fob which I have now hung on said cell phone. I forgot to mention that the night before I received a pretty cool pottery incense set. You stick reeds in the pot and the incense soaks up into them to be diffused to the room.

Mom and Dad (Grandma and Grandpa) were there for the extravanganza and putting together of the puppet theatre while Bill was busy putting together the new kitchen set. It was just the right kind of Christmas for me.

On other news, I did manage to finish up work for one client, although I have not been paid, nor any note to me of when payment may be made. That is probably because they are away for the holidays as they had mentioned. Still plugged away at the merchandising job. It is so hard to believe how many belts, wallets and cufflinks are sold this time of year. All of those thousands (yes thousands)_ of pieces are just about gone. Amazing! My boss gave me a wonderful Christmas bonus - work 10 hours the week after Christmas and get paid for 20. Couldn't pass up that deal.

Cal won the Holiday Bowl - some redemption for the Pac-10 which had not been doing too well in the post season this year. Lets hope that USC can do the same on Monday in the Rose Bowl. They need some redemption after the UCLA disaster.

Yesterday, my friend came over and we went to wath The Queen with Helen Mirren. A highly fantasized tale of the Queen of England during the death of Princess Diana period. It was good viewing but I couldn't help but think how much of it was really true since no one really knows what went on behind those Palace doors.

I forgot to mention that I had also seen the Pursuit of Happyness with Will Smith the previous week, a true story of a rags to riches story that happened in our very own San Francisco - very inspiring as well as good entertainment.

Fast forward to yesterday. After the movie, we were joined at my house by another friend and shared champagne, wine and food while we watched The Great American Christmas -sort of - mostly just to see the Drew and Ted parts - but they really started getting into some of the other stories as well. It was a pretty well put together movie. As time moved on, someone just had to have dessert so we all agreed and went off to Marie Callendars for a piece of pie, which we brought home and promptly ate. A wonderful, girl-fest of an evening.

And, I guess, Dear Blog, that that is all of the news worth reporting, although I am sure there is much I have left out as well as much that should have been left out - teehee.

I am hoping to attempt a little more "letting go", cleaning up, filing before the end of the year (tomorrow). We will see how it goes. I am feeling a bit lazy.........

And....

2006-12-20T08:48:00.000-08:00

Just to show you that I wasn't kiddding about the evite. Here is a photo of me and my friends from the party. It really was a lot of fun and I stayed later than expected.

Disneyland

2006-12-18T16:12:00.000-08:00

As you can see from the photos above, I went to Disneyland. A good (great) time was had by all. What a truly magical place!

2 days of (semi) rest

2006-12-12T07:35:00.000-08:00

After battling a cold while working and being overall very fatigued, at long last, I had two days "off". That means that I didn't have to go to structured work. It doesn't mean I didn't do anything. Darn. Sunday, I went to the ATW brunch - a very nice, low-key affair for members only and a good way to give back to them for all of their help during the year. That was preceded by cleaning the kitchen and followed up by going through all of the accumulated mail and newspapers in the living room. After that, I relaxed with a couple of movies - The New World (so so), Pirates of the Caribbean (as bad as I expected though not quite as bad as the first one), Ice Age 2 (very entertaining but liked the first one better). I fell asleep a couple of times during Ice Age so decided it was time to sleep.

Monday brought a nice morning - the first in a long time - in which I did not have to get up early and slept in a little. Breakfast and crossword puzzle later, I watched a couple more movies. By now, you have probably figured out that movie marathons are a source of relaxation for me. The Lake House (much better than expected - thank you Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves), Over the Hedge (aahh, disappointment and even more disappointed that MSG was glorified in it - our children and us adults don't need to be exposed to that poison) and An Inconvenient Truth. The last one is the Al Gore testimonial on Global Warming - surprisingly well thought out and well done with humor, seriousness and just a touch of political bitterness. Real food for thought there.

Finally, lest you thought I could have the whole day off, I was off to a USC Board Meeting.

What did not get done. Yard cleaning (rain stopped that), Christmas Card writing, Client file, ATW close. Ahhhhhh but there is always tomorrow.........

evite mystery solved

2006-12-08T19:56:00.000-08:00

After much wracking of the brain and many, many days including a trip to LA, Christmas party, Disneyland and more back-breaking work (yeah, I know none of those are related but just thought I would throw them in), I finally, finally (will finish this sentence?), finally figured out, I think, who sent me the eVite. It is a friend of mine who got married and used her married name in the eVite. Not only that, but she used her nickname instead of the name that we knew her by which further confused the issue. Now that I know who it is, I would really like to go to the party. Unfortunately, the location is TBD. Hmmmmmm.....I responded yes to the eVite. Does that mean I get a location address next?

Tune in for the next episode of As The EVITE Turns? Or was that General EVITE or One EVITE to Live? Or maybe Grey's EVITE or better yet, Desperate EVITE!

Ok, ok, so I am a little Goofy now. That is what comes of going to Disneyland and doing Corporate Taxes in the same week!

mysterious evite

2006-11-30T20:16:00.000-08:00

How does this happen? Today, I received an eVite from "friends" who are moving to San Francisco. The only problem is that I do not know who these people are. I have wracked my brain but just do not know. Is it possible they accidentally got my email? How coincidental would that be? I looked down the list of other guests but didn't recognize any of them either. Ummmm.....mysterious.....ummmmm.....should I go to the party anyway? Who knows who I will meet!

On other news. Being the last day of the month, I had to weigh in today and was still .6 - yes .6, not 6 pounds over my limit. Not bad, considering that most of the month I was about 4 lbs over. The receptionist was nice enough to give me a pass this month but told me I better make weight next month. I certainly hope that I do.

As for the film, The Great American Christmas, I did end up on the cutting room floor. Ted and Drew did an awesome job though. The film started off rather slow but actually turned out pretty good. It is pretty inspiring as narrated by Howie Mandel and held my interest even though I wasn't in it. It will air 3 more times including 4:00 on Saturday so if you get a chance, have a look at it.

Christmas job still kicking my behind. 8 hours today, most of the time which I felt as if I was going to pass out. Nausea, vertigo and black outs were the par for today. I was just exhausted and not sure if I am quite ready for this yet.

The good news is that both Smokey and Thomas are now walking on the treadmill -woohoo!- although you can still tell that they are baffled and a little scared of the ground that moves below their feet!

What's Up

2006-11-28T20:16:00.000-08:00

Although I am thoroughly convinced that I have lost my large following, (Thank you my 2 dear readers) I continue to blog. After all, it is really notes to ourselves anyway, isn't it? Still, there is some thrill when my blog comes up on the screen and I see a number other than 0 after comments, meaning that, yes, someone else read what I had to say and had some of their own thoughts on it.

Anyway, it has been nearly two weeks. This part-time, Christmas job that I took - for fun and to get myself used to working again - is kicking my behind. I am not having fun and I am exhausted most of the time from the work. It has seriously affected other areas of my life - walking the dogs, getting house work and yard work done, visiting with my nieces and the rest of family and friends, painting, looking for a real job that could actually pay the bills (and maybe get me that plasma, HD TV I have been drooling for), completing the accounting for my one client that actually pays me and a far better salary than the Christmas job. So, it was a bad idea to take this job but, not being a quitter, I will stick with it until Jan. 7 when I will happily say, Happy New Year and bye!

Other stuff in the two weeks. Thanksgiving. Yum Yum. Definitely my favorite holiday. I love to eat and especially Turkey, stuffing, pies and all of the rest of the good Thanksgiving stuff. This year we had fried Turkey. I pictured something like KFC but only using a Turkey. Not like that at all and much better. It was the most delicious, moist Turkey I have ever tasted! And it was great having most of the family and some friends all together. Great day.

Football. USC has definitely recovered from the slight slump it had been in that led to its one loss at Oregon. After wins over Cal and Notre Dame, it has once again reached the lofty ranks of the top two college teams (BCS bowl-wise anyway) and barring a loss to UCLA Saturday, will most likely go on to play in the National Championship Game against Ohio in January. It has been one exciting season with a number of good games by other teams and some superb playing. I am keeping my fingers crossed for Saturday that USC can beat our cross-town rival UCLA.

Golf - got on the course for only the third time in my life (maybe fourth) and played 7 holes before sundown. Nothing spectacular but did have a good four-some who were all about the same skill level leading to fun for all since no one got too frustrated waiting for anyone else.

And speaking of Christmas specials, there is one on TV tonight on USAP channel called The Great American Christmas. It is narrated by Howie Mandel and follows six American "families" through Christmas. My friends were one of the families. It was filmed last year and part of the filming was done at a Christmas party I attended. We will see whether I ended up on the cutting room floor or whether you catch a sneak peak of me in the film. I will be watching at 9:00.

Thats about all of the news that is worth reporting at the moment.

One unfortunate thing. Only 2 days left in the month and I have not made my weight-in for WW yet. I am still 3lbs. over my limit so looks like I will have to pay this month. Darn! Need to get back down to weight in December. I will keep my fingers crossed for the next 2 days but it seems that my body is in somewhat of a revolt at the moment and the scale has been stuck at the same weight for about 2 weeks now. As we all know, there are worse things in life but, still, I worked so hard to get there, don't want to back-track now.

Whoa! Wednesday already

2006-11-15T17:40:00.000-08:00

Where does the time go?

Well, lets see. USC won Saturday. WooHoo! Raised them to #3 in the BCS rankings. This weekend is the big showdown with CAL. Anything can happen wit these old rivals.

Each day further that I get from Herceptin brings more strength and fading of the fatigue and pain I was under for so long. It is amazing to go to bed and know that I will wake up naturally 7 hours later, refreshed, and ready to get up. I hadn't experienced that in probably 20 months or so since this all began. Sleeping 9 - 14 hours and still waking up tired and barely able to move had become a way of life. I had forgotten what it was like to feel "normal". Such a nice feeling. Of course, there are still relapses, particularly when I overdo it. Last night, I slept 9 1/2 hours and have felt a bit tired and out of sorts all day today. The other wonder of being farther and farther from treatments is the way I feel after exercise - Quigong, walking, yoga, hiking, whatever. The aches and pains are becoming non-existant and my body is beginning to feel less battered. Still waiting for the results on my last blood test to see if the anemia is starting to reside or not. Kaiser seems to have lost my blood test results again - twice in a row now, don't know why - after so many months of no errors. Anyway, based on my own experience, I would say, sorry Genentech, it is not true that Herceptin has no side effects. You may not lose your hair, vomit and generally feel like dying but you had better become accustomed to muscle aches and extreme fatigue for the duration of the treatments. Your body is still being battered.

As for life, no more action on the job front yet. Did receive one rejection which is amazing in this age. Most companies don't even bother responding to you unless you call and can manage to get through in which they say, Oops, sorry, yes we decided on someone else. It was amazing actually to receive an old-fashioned (granted via e-mail rather than snail mail) rejection letter saying, your resume was great......many qualified candidates.....good luck with your job search - yada, yada, yada. Believe it or not, I was thankful for that. Closure and I could cross that job off the list.

Other than the job search, life has just been busy as once again I am trying to get caught up, let go and cleaned out. So much work just trying to maintain, much less get ahead. I seriously need a "wife" to do this or at least a husband so that I can stay at home and do some of it and not have to worry about earning a living at the same time.

At least the dogs got walked today. They really appreciated that and have been getting better and better with each walk. Smokey walks really well for me off-leash now although he doesn't always walk so well for other people on the leash. Thomas is managing to get by other dogs pretty well without going completely nuts.

Thanks for the sunshine today!

Other news

2006-11-11T15:18:00.000-08:00

So, aside from the donut thing, I realize that I haven't written in 9 days. Is there anyone out there who cares? 1 reader, maybe 2?

What have I been doing for those 9 days? That is a good question because I really don't have much recollection of them. (stop what your thinking right now - it isn't a drug or alcohol stupor, I should be so lucky). What have I done? hmmmmm........Well, I was pretty exhausted on the 3rd, which was a Friday, since I had such a busy week. Not much got done except trying to recoup my energy which was so low I could barely move.

Saturday dawned bright and early and I toodled (is that a word?) off to blow up cardinal and gold (not red and yellow but cardinal and gold) balloons for the pre-game USC rally. Was really disappointed that there was no beer being sold since the rally took place at Paly High School but my friends Doug and Kathy came through with an ice chest and a glass of beer for me. Thanks! Next, surprise, surprise, a nice couple came and sat behind us. I stared and tried to place where I knew them from. Finally, the woman came up to me and said my name. She had recognized me. At that point, I realized that she was my old roommate's sorority sister (from undergrad days). Not to date myself but that was long ago. Over the years though, I have seen her a number of times since my roommate and I are still friends. I hadn't seen Elaine in maybe 6 years or more but we recognized each other. Much time was spent then and at halftime catching up and taking pictures. What fun! And yeah, USC won the game against our old rival, Stanford (Beat the Tree), keeping hopes of a national championship alive.

Saturday night was haircut Saturday and I was happy that, at least, I could get a beer there (since there was no beer in the stadium either). I was pretty thirsty by that time.

Needless to say, Sunday took some more recuperation although I have to say that I think I spent more time working around the house than recuperating. No time for blogging.

The next week was a blur. Off to the infusion room on Monday to get my port flushed, then on to Quigong. Home to check emails, phone mails and pursue my job search. Tuesday, I started early in the morning at Oakridge doing merchandising for Swank and then moved on to Valley Fair before heading home where the phone rang just as I walked in. It was the CFO from one of the companies I sent my resume to and an impromptu interview took place right then. Next was a visit to the twins, then painting class and ended up in San Jose at AMTSJ for a production of the King and I. Debbie Boone did well and the sets were some of the best. The king left something to be desired. Kind of small and skinny. It was very funny every time he told Anna (Debbie Boone) that her head had to be below his since she was taller than him.

Wednesday brought more Quigong followed by a long walk with the dogs and a friend of mine, lunch and then a facial/massage/waxing to prepare just in case I got called back in for an interview on Thursday.

Thursday started early (7:15) with the ATW close. My sis came to visit for a short time and I was happy to see her. Then, it was off to Stanford to do some more merchandising for Swank. Return home and finish the ATW close and then off to the ATW Board Meeting. By the time I arrived back home at 9:00, I had had a long day and was very tired. The only disappointing thing was that I did not hear back from the CFO that I had interviewed with. Even if I didn't get the job, I would like to at least hear and get closure.

By Friday, I was exhausted. Not to lose the momentum though, I got up early and went through one of the many piles in my study (yes, the letting go/cleaning up project is still ongoing with too many new piles starting every day). Noontime came before I knew it. I walked the dogs around the block and then did a few more hours of work before I finally sat down to read the paper and catch up on my TIVO recordings.

And then today. Up early again so that I could go to Valley Fair and Stanford to do my merchandising work for Swank at Macy's. Now seems like a good time for a couple of hours of newspaper reading/football watching/sudoku/rest before going to my friend's house for dinner.

Are you bored yet? Wish I had something more exciting to write but that is my life. Frankly, it is exciting enough and busy enough for me. A little more spare time would be appreciated.

Waking Up On The Other Side Of A Dream

I entered the OUIDAD If these Curls Could Talk Contest

whooppeeee

Another day

Happy Thursday

Ugghhhh.....again ....seem to like that word for grief

Soooooo........ccccccoooooollllllldddddd

Worried

More post C stuff

One month

Is it real or is it Memorex?

Its a good day

Ughhhh....

slammed!?!

lalala

what's up

More Cancer follow-up for anyone watching Breast Cancer

More post-C stuff

ohhhhh booooyyyyyyyy

Happy 4th and decluttering

Weekend, what weekend?

30 get cut dvd with Jillian

Planning, planning, planning

Never listen to a young guy at Sports Authority when buying weights...

Sweet Memories

Decluttering

Well, it is 10:43 PM

May already?? Whoa.......

Warning-Cancer-related Post

So here I sit drinking chocolate milk and beer

Time Flies

Firedrill

Slowly but surely

Happy 2008

Musings

A little elving holiday entertainment

Why is it that it is the little things that hurt so much?

Tis the Season

Busy Sunday

Photos!

More blah, blah

A quieter week

Driving a Mommy Van

How about Stanford v. Appalachian State for the National Championship?

Wondering where I have been?

The Journey continues - Custer Park and other fun

Labor Day Weekend

Beyond Rushmore

Movies, movies, movies

And what about the rest of the weekend?

Cancer - the gift that keeps on giving

South Dakota

South Dakota

Dragon Boat Racing

2nd Amazon Sale

My Birthday!!!!!

Aspen to Wyoming - Do we need our passports

Aspen - part deux

Aspen - beautiful Aspen

Hmmmmm.........

Good Days back

not even 9:00 and has been quite a day

30 year reunion

Ohhh, the things that we worry about

Working, working

LaLaLa....again

The Sun is Back

Y-Me

still here.....

Just me and a box of See's chocolates

LaLaLa.....

Weekends are made for fun

Sunshine on the way

Call me Harold Crick

Stuff, stuff, stuff

Letting Go: The continuing saga

What you doing?

Just a short break

Amazon Sale!

Here I am