Why is it that it is the little things that hurt so much?

On Tuesday, the 14th of Dec, I went for what was supposed to be my last surgery. I was getting my "other headlight" so that I would no longer be a "one headlight gal". I hopped off to my plastic surgeon's office for what was supposed to be the simplest part of my journey through breast cancer.

On arriving at the office, I expected to be escorted by Ravi, her ever so efficient and kind nurse, into the regular office where I would take a semi-reclined position in the chair/bed while Dr. W. did her wonderful work. Instead, I was led into a mini-operating chamber with a bed, light, sink and little rolling tray for utensils. I was asked to undress from the waist up and lay down on the bed. A little metal pad was stuck to my leg (wish I had shaved before coming!) to ground me when the electric tools (?!?!) were used. What was I in for?

The Dr. came in and began adjusting things - metal tray, tools, foot pedal (?) - oh, and yes, we only need one foot pedal, which is the right one? I lay REALLY wondering what I had gotten myself into.

The Dr. asked me to sit up and then began drawing with purple ink on my "right front bumper". Did I want my headlight today? Was there anything else bothering me. I told her that I had constant discomfort on the right side which seemed a little bulgy and I constantly rubbed when moving my arm. Hopefully, a little lipo will help that out, she said.

After receiving all of my purple diagramming, I laid back down on the bed. So far, so good. Next, the lidocaine. She said that the needle would sting a littlle. Well, I am the baby who cannot stand the dentist's office and finds getting the anesthetic the worst thing in the world. Give me surgeries, IVs in my poor depleted, scarred arm, chemo (well maybe not!) but don't stick me with that needle and give me lidocaine! OUch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch. The needle looked like something between the size of a shot glass and a beer bong and was full of fluid. She was injecting me with a saline/lidocaine solution to "numb" the area. Couldn't they numb the area before numbing it? OUch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch.....I repeat.

The needle went into the first place and I felt a burning, sticking, excruciating pain in my arm pit. I told the doctor and she had the nurse check to see if the padding under my shoulder was sticking me. Only later did I realize it was the injection. She moved all around the breast with her needle injecting and injecting and injecting. I was in burning, pinching, sticking, stretching pain. Please stop I prayed but kept my teeth clinch so that she could work. It was the worst thing I have gone through so far (except maybe chemo).

After finishing, she let me lie there for a while so that my body could "absorb the anesthetic". I thought it was so that my back muscles could unwind and relax back down after clinching against the needle strikes.

Next came the work. Lipo was first. I saw the familiar needle with hose attached go into my upper right side of my breast - just like on TV. She started moving the needle back and forth as she sucked the fat out. Oh, the pain. Why do people do this voluntarily for glamour? I told her that it hurt - ALOT! She apologized and said that sometimes the anesthetic can't quite penetrate as far as it could and told me that it would soon be over. I gritted my teeth and swore off lipo forever.

Next came the nipple. It was fascinating watching what I could. I was flat on my back and couldn't see much. I could see her scalpel moving back and forth, slicing the surface of what had been my tummy and was now the front of my right breast. It looked like she was cutting out a star. Next came the sutures. I don't know how many she put in - maybe 20 or more. I commented, wow, that is a lot of stitches - more than I expected. She said yes there were a lot of micro stitches involved in creating a new nipple.

Finally, about an hour and a half later, it was all finished. She got a little plastic cup, just the size of my nipple and taped it over the nipple. I was not to allow any pressure until the nipple was healed - a couple of or three weeks I guess. The nipple cap makes a nice bump in my bra and through my blouse making it look like I have one big, very erect nipple on my breast - Is it cold out here or are you wearing a breast cap?

There is still one more office visit to come before this is all finalized. I get tattoed to match my other side. The colors have to be mixed and the Dr says that is what takes the longest. It is tough to match the skin tone of the areola. I will be getting my tattoo in Jan and then, finally, be done except for the millions of Dr. visitis (okay, I exaggerate but there are a lot) that I go through every year. They will start in Jan/Feb with the radiation oncologist, mammography, ultrasound, MRI, breast surgeon, medical oncologist and continue through the year with more visits to the same and also GP, gynecologist, dermatologist (yes, every year after having breast cancer). But, no more pain I hope!