slammed!?!

Just when you think that things are going good.........

I was feeling good, the exercise starting to sink in and the muscle ache less. More energy, more life......and then.....

The ugly post-C monster reared its head. In the time it takes a heart to beat once, the fatigue hit. Completely unexpected and from nowhere. One second, I was sitting wide awake and working and the next, my head went down, my eyes went closed. My whole body just sagged with the fatigue. I felt like I had suddenly developed narcolepsy. But wait, I was still at work but fortunately, near the end of my day. It was only 3:45. I struggled through until the 4:10 ending time. The shooting pains had begun in my head and I started to slur my words. It felt like a mini-stroke but I had been through this before.

I dragged myself to the train station. Once on the train, I attempted to work a crossword puzzle and then read a book but my eyes just wouldn't stay open. The shooting pains continued and I almost could not see out of my right eye at all. The nausea set in. Don't let me throw up, I pleaded with the cosmos. Just let me get to my car.

Finally, we reached the station and I dragged myself to the car. My breathing had become very labored by this point and my heart was beating very sluggishly. Once in the car, I knew I could make it home and prayed the traffic would not be too bad. It wasn't and I was safely in the house at 6:00. No workout for me this evening. Just try to get some food - preferably, high iron, red meat into me and get the dogs fed.

By 7:00, I was laying on the couch in front of the TV. The last I remember, the clock read 8:59 before I woke up at 11PM. I dragged myself in to bed and slept through until 4AM. Just a little longer, I thought as I snuggled into the warmth of the dogs. I knew I had to be up at 5 to walk them and get ready for work since I had to leave early for a meeting today. I still felt tired but the fatigue, shooting pains had subsided enough for me to walk them. My heart was still sluggish and I still felt like I needed to sleep another 24 hours but I was up enough to make it to work. The time seemed to rush by as I showered and ate so I knew that I was moving very slowly.

I am at work now and the right eye is still a little droopy. I am not the bundle of energy that I have been but I am hoping the worst has passed. I never know. Sometimes it drags on for weeks and other times, it is just a couple of days.

Fortunately, these incidences are becoming fewer and farther between as I get farther into my survivorship. They haven't gone away though and insist on coming back now and then just to remind me that those 3 years really did happen and my body has a long road to come back to "normal".