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Monday, February 13, 2006

Herceptin #7

Today is Monday - the start of another "work" week for me. Getting up early this morning was tough. I feel so tired. The stress of last week is still lingering and my body aches. However, it is with a little excitement that I do face the day. It is one more step in this journey which will take me closer to becoming "normal" again.

This morning, I start off with a visit to my Oncology NP who is wonderful. Then, I go to the infusion room to be hooked up to the series of tubes that will allow them to infuse the saline and herceptin and inject the heparin directly into my bloodstream. The port is in my left chest and I always feel as if I am something from the Matrix or some other futuristic, sci-fi movie, sitting there with my tube coming out of my chest, blood pressure cuff on my left arm and reading the paper. ooooohhhhh, what a life!

On the way to the hospital, I will be on the phone with the Hayward Plastic Surgery group attempting to get an appointment with the Plastic Surgeon that does DIEP reconstruction. Hope that all goes well.

After the Herceptin, I journey to the radiation department for an ultrasound. No, this one doesn't show babies like Rich's does (at least I hope not). This is to explore the myriad of lumps and striations in my left breast to try and determine if there is anything there that needs to be further explored. The reason for this test is because the mammogram cannot find anything due to the density of my breast.

By the time I am through, it will be 1:30 with half the day gone and most of my emotional, mental and physical energy sapped. Who knows what the rest of the day will bring?

In the meantime, the rest of life goes on. Last night, I spent almost 6 hours closing ATW's books. About half that time was wasted trying to figure out what the National accountant had done in my accounts. She randomly goes in and changes things without telling me and I have to keep two sets of books just so that I can compare and see what changes she has made and whether they are correct or not (They aren't always). Frustrating and a real time drain.

Bachelor #1 has decided to leave the picture. Guess things weren't moving quickly enough for him. For someone who claimed he wanted a long term relationship, he sure didn't act like it. Bachelor #2 (Lone Wolf) is history but at least I was kind enough not to leave him hanging and to tell him. Bachelor #3 sounded very eager to set up a date and we made a day and time. He was supposed to get back to me with a place and I haven't heard from him. Too bad. He sounded the most promising of the three but maybe he is a jerk, too. If so, it will be back to the drawing board.

And finally, it will be the time to pay my own bills, work on some FDS documents and try to get some more filing done to see if I can clean my study out finally ( that is the longest running story). And walk the dogs (but probably not today - too worn out from treatments, etc). Seems like there is always something to do.

And, oh, I just remembered. Over the weekend (Fri and Sun), I was able to view 2 of the most beautiful breasts. On Fri, I saw the DIEP reconstruction and on Sun, the Free Flap reconstruction. Both were beautiful and truly miracles of medicine. The scars on both the breasts and across the mid-sections had healed beautifully. Both women had great experiences with mild recoveries. It all made me that much more excited to get my own reconstruction.

Forgive me for the brain dump. There was just so much on my mind and it feels good to get it off and start a new week. I look forward to what this week brings but am also a bit nervous. Why? I don't know. Just want it all to go well -- whatever it is!

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